What guys think women want in bed, but we don’t

Yes, this is a very broad generalisation and for every person that doesn’t like something you will find ones who do, so please be aware that this is a very general list and done more for fun and entertainment than anything else.

But in saying that, the most effective way to find out what someone DOES want in bed is to ask them.

Terrible “Dirty Talk”

Dirty talk can be awesome. It can get deep inside your psyche and make you feel things you didn’t think you’d feel or enjoy. But it can also be really off-putting. Just like when Seinfeld embarrassingly asks his new dirty-talking girlfriend if they were “the panties her mother laid out for her” so too can calling a new lover a “dirty whore” be an experiment in disaster if it’s not what they’re into. Also remember the volume of your voice. Too loud and it can be like shouting gross shit at someone, and too soft and it can be distracting with all the “huh?” “what was that?” “sorry?” getting in the way of the flow.

Penis Size

I know, I know. The world has told you that to be good at sex means you have to have a big penis. This is just wrong and, if you read our Big Dick blog posts, you will see that they really aren’t all that for many, many women. Your presence and your attention to our pleasure is what we want. We don’t care if you have a tree trunk down there, if you don’t know how to use your mouth and your hands properly it’s just a wasted appendage.

Stoic, Unemotional Robots

Big boys don’t cry… But enlightened, emotionally adjusted men do. If she’s so beautiful you just want to sing, tell her! If she makes you feel like a big ol’ teddy bear full of hugs and love, tell her. Sex, especially sex with someone you love, can be full of emotion and can make you feel things you didn’t know you could. If you want to lay there afterwards and hold her and tell her how much you love and cherish her and how you get so overwhelmed with happiness sometimes you could just cry… Do it! It doesn’t make you less of a man. It makes you a complete one. (In saying all of this, though, there is something incredibly off-putting about someone crying during sex. While I know it can be emotionally overwhelming for some… Snot and tears, unless part of a BDSM thing, can be a bit of a turn off).

No Warm Up Quickies

Ever gone down a water-slide where there’s no water? Yeah, it’s really not fun at all, and fucking without warming her up first and getting those juices flowing is just not fun. Yes, quickies can be awesome but there has to be some wetness and lubrication first or it’s a quick journey to discomfort, pain and possible infections and UTIs from dry rubbing in an area that should be wet. 

Poking In Holes

Now some women can really get off on this sort of stuff, but most, without proper warm up or consent, really don’t, and I’m not just talking about sneaking a finger up her arse without asking first either. The number of men who stick their fingers in mouths or ears is just… Well, as a sex worker I can tell you it was one of the most common WTF moments I’d have at work. No, a wet willy is NOT sexy, why are you wriggling your finger in my ear? And unless I go to put it in my mouth, please leave your fingers out of there, it’s just asking to be bitten.

Like mentioned at the beginning, the best way to find out what someone wants is to ask them, which is all part of communication and consent and should be a regular practice in your sex life whether it’s the first or the fiftieth time you’ve had sex with someone.

26 Comments

  • bigsur. Photo
    bigsur.
    More than a month ago

    Eva, what about tiramisu? And prosecco!? :D

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      DeliciousEva
      More than a month ago

      Well... I'll never say no to tiramisu... Even in bed.
      :)

  • Tassiegirl555 Photo
    Tassiegirl555
    More than a month ago

    well for me if a guy/female isnt going to work me over well, its just not gonna happen for me.........i sooo lov a hands on person lol

  • melm4n Photo
    melm4n
    More than a month ago

    On a side note, I wish one could like / react to comments here. Some are quite an eye opener or just plain fun to read.

    Come on, @AMM, add reactions to comments - and have fun with that, too ;)

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      AMM.Editor
      More than a month ago

      Yes, it's definitely on the "to do" list as it embedding the name of the member you want to direct the comment to. Watch this space!

    • friskypuz
      More than a month ago

      Haha yes I sometimes think that. Even for some of the videos, lol. Thumb up, lol

  • cowgaluvoldrmen
    More than a month ago

    Rofl
    What a woman wants !!! Well we are all different so it can’t all be the same for each individual seriously
    Not all guys are good at the same thing !
    At the end of the day I’ll say two things
    Time and patience!
    You’ve gotta explore !!!!!!!!

  • catchofcentury
    More than a month ago

    really....you for real?

    • Leolady727 Photo
      Leolady727
      More than a month ago

      Just looked at your profile - thanks for the laugh

    • Potatohss1234 Photo
      Potatohss1234
      More than a month ago

      Lol, Leo lady nailed it

  • motorcade
    More than a month ago

    Well said Eva. And can I just add, those frantic in/out in/out rooting videos that are all over pornhub now are not a turn on. Used to be there were some to cater for those of us who like the tease and the edge and the females p.o.v but they seem to have buried them.

  • friskypuz
    More than a month ago

    Your comment about the wet willy made me laugh, I hate it when they slip a finger or the tongue in my ears and sloppy, not to mention the sloppy wet kissing like a puppy.
    I have found l like the dirty talk, and being a naughty cum slutt for my lover.. But alot of that comes with trust and respect for each other..

    • Leolady727 Photo
      Leolady727
      More than a month ago

      Oh yeah, you just know a guy is going to be hopeless at oral when he does the sloppy kiss ;-)

  • wickedcat Photo
    wickedcat
    More than a month ago

    It is all well and good to ask your partner what they like in bed ... but then you have to listen and react to what they say, which is where most men fail miserably. I take pride in that I listen to what my sex partner says, and read / react to the effect that my efforts are having in providing the pleasure they seek. My aim is to give pleasure and satisfaction, and to that end I have been 'rewarded' with awesome sexual adventures ....... sometimes not even involving my dick!
    My fwb keeps telling me that I am in a very small minority ... lol

    • oakentree Photo
      oakentree
      More than a month ago

      well at least 2 off us are real men cool and you say better than i could earlier

  • MissThatTouch
    More than a month ago

    On the topic of dirty talk...while yes I acknowledge it can be a complete turn-on for some to receive a raunchy message as first (or further in) message - I've specifically stated in my profile that I don't want this kind of talk directed at me online from a stranger I haven't met yet, but I still receive them. Either this means they haven't bothered to read my profile (yep, that happens a lot, we all know this...and guys, its so obvious when its the case lol), or they have but just haven't respected my stance on this. I get 'but its a sex site' thrown at me when I call them out on not respecting this boundary of mine...yes, it is - but as I also say, I also deserve to be respected. The last guy who threw this at me - I actually smiled when I received a notification from him as I had hoped he would contact me after me viewing his profile...but as I said to him, shame that he hasn't respected this of me...because he now wont get what he wanted, from me.
    Either way - not respecting my wants/don't wants (which shows you don't respect me), wont get me any closer to me wanting to expose my body to you - showing me you respect me, will. I just don't get why (some) men don't get this. We aren't dolls which you can just undress and have your way with.

    • oakentree Photo
      oakentree
      More than a month ago

      sometimes i think women are like a xmas present you can't shake them but unwrapping gently, always wondering whats there until! we realize you can re wrap a lady and start all over and never be bored with her because that respect and trust grows and women do respond

    • DesperateWifey Photo
      DesperateWifey
      More than a month ago

      I couldn’t have said it better!
      Men jus don’t “get it”...hmm don’t think they ever will? I’m sure they think showing a dick pic and staying “I want to fuck you sooo bad, your exactly what I’m looking for”(and they haven’t even seen a pic of you), that we’ll instantly drop our panties and let them have their way.
      Yes, it’s a sex site but we as women deserve to be respected! Give us that, and they’ll be more than happy with what they receive in return. Show some genuine interest, it will go alonggggg way!

    • DesperateWifey Photo
      DesperateWifey
      More than a month ago

      I couldn’t have said it better!
      Men jus don’t “get it”...hmm don’t think they ever will? I’m sure they think showing a dick pic and saying “I want to fuck you sooo bad, you’re exactly what I’m looking for”(and they haven’t even seen a pic of you), that we’ll instantly drop our panties and let them have their way.
      Yes, it’s a sex site but we as women deserve to be respected! Give us that, and they’ll be more than happy with what they receive in return. Show some genuine interest, it will go alonggggg way!

    • MissThatTouch
      More than a month ago

      DesperateWifey
      "Yes, it’s a sex site but we as women deserve to be respected! Give us that, and they’ll be more than happy with what they receive in return. Show some genuine interest, it will go alonggggg way!"
      Yessss that's exactly it! If only they (those that don't bother showing this to us) realised what even just a little bit of respect as opposed to none, would lead to...they just don't get to find out! ;)

  • Ifuwannadome Photo
    Ifuwannadome
    More than a month ago

    God i know dozens of men that should read this, women wanna be worked over before guys just shove their dick into u

    • oakentree Photo
      oakentree
      More than a month ago

      oaken tree here ty for the comment if people forgot ego's and thought about ladies as much as they do mates unwise words i as a man would not lol when men complain about being cheated on by partners ty

  • oakentree Photo
    oakentree
    More than a month ago

    i agree to many see the sexy outside but forget thatwoman are amazing if you ask them what they like or dislike i get as much or more pleasure from seeing a lady arch and respond to touch and words is sensuous and amazing turn on.i also have a hint men should learn that going shopping with a lady fro dresses is sexy to if you use your mind and enjoy your girl trying on outfits just normal stuff, they like to look good for themselves and most off us men never think its for them to so listen to mates and miss out on what could not just be fun but public foreplay rick

    • Ifuwannadome Photo
      Ifuwannadome
      More than a month ago

      Exactly whats the point of a woman going all out and the guy just wants to get his dick.in and nothing else she might as well watch paint dry

    • MissThatTouch
      More than a month ago

      I liked what you wrote about 'going shopping with a lady', and it is so true.
      I'm not one to expect gifts/clothing etc from a man - but I'll always remember the afternoon my (then) partner and I went shopping - he wanted to buy me a dress for my birthday.
      It was such a turn-on to firstly browse the racks....and then to be in the dressing room while he kept bringing in different dresses for me to try on - and privately show to him, in that room. I never expected it to make me feel how I did...but lets just say, he found out when we got home, just how much I loved that gesture...lol (it wasn't the 'buying/spending money on me' - it was the act of him sharing with me what he (we both, it wasn't just his choice) thinks would look good on me, and selecting dresses and bringing them in just for me, that did it). That dress always held special meaning because of this...because of the care and attention he showed towards me when purchasing it.

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