The Art of Seduction

“As soon I put the kids to bed, we are going to have HOT SEX!” 

Rewind the clocks back to two nights ago, when I’d not so subtly hissed this at my husband through clenched teeth, after our respective hard days at work and wrangling two small people had left us both highly stressed and craving sexual intimacy, wine and that sweet, oxytocin release - orgasms.

“Great!” came my husband’s eager reply, “I just have to roast the vegetables first!” 

Welcome to modern relationships in 2018, when you’ve often got to fulfil your work, family, friends and pet obligations -  hell, even the bloody plants and dinner need looking after - before you can even think about sexual pleasure for yourself and/or your partner. Why do we so often put sex and romance at the bottom of the list?

We all know the fine art of seduction is important - the more you put in to your relationship, the more likely your partner is to put out. But when your work/life balance is out of kilter, as it is for so many of us, it can be hard to remember the playful and sexual niceties that will see you both heading to orgasm-town later.

Not to mention the fact that the rigours of parenting and small kids are both massive passion killers and it can be very hard to fill up your spouse’s cup, so to speak, when you yourself are run ragged. It is for this very reason that my husband and I plan kids-free date nights at home as often as we can (thank you, angel grandparents) and go on opulent, romantic, short-stay getaways by ourselves, whenever time and budget allows, just to reconnect and keep the spark burning brightly.

For the better your sexual connection with your partner, the happier and more contented you’ll be in all other areas of your life. Plus, don’t you find that those little, niggly and inconsequential things you hate about your spouse/work mates/neighbours don’t bother you so much when you’re getting plenty of quality orgasms and feeling loved, respected and admired by your partner? These elements are just as important and essential for your happiness and well-being as good sleep, if you ask me.

If you’re a sexy singleton, there’s plenty you can do to brush up on your seduction techniques too - we’re all still evolving and striving to be our best selves. Who doesn’t want to learn how to be more attractive to others? Ultimately, a lot of the art of seduction comes down to plain, old good forward planning; thoughtfulness; a flair for spontaneity; a kinky, adventurous mind and spirit and some serious confidence. You’ve got to seriously back yourself if you want to emerge a winner in the seduction stakes.

So, here are my top 5 power seduction moves to bringing your sexy back:

1. Foreplay starts at 7am

Masterful lovers know sex starts from the moment you wake up together. Pay your partner a compliment; pull her hair gently back and surprise her with a damn good goodbye pash and playful slap on her arse when she leaves to go to work; nibble his ear and deftly and quickly run your hands over his back, bum and junk as he’s making the breakfast coffee; and I promise you you’ll leave your partner wanting more and they’ll be thinking about having sex with you all day long. Of course, a good quickie would also make a fine morning wake-up call, but that’s not always possible, so take your partner’s breath away with some sexy, early-morning foreplay and fulfil the promise of sex later. Do the important relationship maintenance - seduction 101 - to keep the love and sex alive: ask your partner about their day; pick up their favourite dessert or wine; or light their favourite candle before they get home. Take the time to do the little things that show your partner you care for and appreciate them, both emotionally and physically, and your natural progression to sex will follow.

2. Self-care is sexy

I’m putting this one high up the list because it’s an oft-forgotten and important part of any lover’s seduction prowess - you’ve got to get in touch with your inner wanton sex beast first before you can truly and wholeheartedly let yourself go and properly pleasure someone else next. So, first do all the little and important self-care rituals that make you feel more like yourself, super confident and ready to rock your lover’s world. This could include taking a soothing hot bath/shower; getting well-groomed; using a lusty fragrance/aftershave; bringing out your best lingerie; grooming your beard (upstairs and downstairs); dusting off the mothballs on *that* sexy little black dress that makes you feel frisky and makes his eyes water with lust - whatever it is that makes you look and feel good, bolsters your confidence and fires up your mojo. Self-care is hot and shows your partner that you respect yourself as well as them. Go get em, tiger!

3. Words + technology = power

If Casanova – allegedly one of the greatest lovers of all time - was alive today, he too would undoubtedly enjoy the power of a good sext. Nothing quite puts a smile on your lover’s face and turns them on uncomfortably throughout a routine, mundane work day like some unexpected explicit sex talk; a random, sexy pic of your pink bits; a lewd list of things you’re going to slowly do to them later; or a checklist of sexual favours you will require as soon as you get home. A word of warning - you might want to exercise caution here, in case your significant other is in a god-awful, all-day seminar with colleagues and/or a meeting with their boss - a simple “Sexy stuff coming your way” or a “Not Safe For Work (NSFW) Warning” text will suffice. But back to the words - a big part of seduction is word play, so use them wisely. If you find it hard to talk dirty in person, practise your form via technology. Message your lover about: your favourite body part of theirs and how you’re going to make them explode with need later; what makes them beautiful and smart; what you want them to do to you in the shower; remind them of that time you had hot alfresco sex and all the neighbours heard - you get the idea. Firstly, your partner will get a nice pep in their step, and secondly and more importantly, by the time you both get home, clothes will be shed and naked bodies will be grinding faster than Superman on Viagra.

4. Set the mood

I’m a bit believer in this one - learn to ignite your partner’s five senses - the faculties of sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch - and they’ll be eating out of your hand (literally, if you like). So, just some examples are: turn the lights down mellow and low and wear something hot that accentuates your best assets; light some beautiful fragrant candles around your house; put on some seductive music you both like that’s soothing and not too distracting; prepare your partner their favourite meal and/or get inventive with food + sex play afterwards; put on blindfolds then get naked and/or enjoy a slow and sensual massage or a feather tease before you actually do the deed. Sometimes, the slow, tantalising build-up to sex can be just as good as the actual thing. And if food is big on your list of seduction techniques, treat your partner to some proven aphrodisiacs like oysters, chocolate and a bucket-load of champagne (my personal faves) - it sure as hell can’t hurt - no great sex act was committed while sober, I’d wager.

5. The element of surprise

Sometimes, a gal (or guy) just really wants to be swept off her feet and senselessly ravished, OK? Rare is the person who doesn’t like their partner to make a fuss over them. Take the recent example of tennis superstar Serena Williams, whose Reddit founder husband Alexis Ohanian whisked her away on a spontaneous trip to Venice, Italy - post-Wimbledon finals - because she had Italian cravings for dinner. Sigh - talk about relationship and seduction goals! But you don’t have to be a millionaire to take your lover’s breath away. Simply think hard about their passions and get planning. You could make like Ohanian and surprise your partner with a romantic night away (camping can be sexy, so I’m told); buy them some high-end (never tacky) lingerie and/or new sex toys you can try together; give them a thoughtful, little gift, like much-longed for book, DVD or a pair of earrings; wine/dine/69 them via a lavish meal at a fancy restaurant; bond through a high-adrenalin sporting experience like hot-air ballooning or skydiving - think anything out of the ordinary which they will not be expecting from you. Spontaneity can be wildly sexy and an intensely powerful aphrodisiac - make your partner feel admired, adored and appreciated and they’ll inevitably be giddy with desire and gratitude and repay your good deeds in the boudoir.

Life, events and people can grind you down - put some magic back into your relationship with a little adventure, fantasy and a few seductive power moves. You can thank me later.

What is your favourite seduction technique? Share your hot tips with other members.

13 Comments

  • Blacktowndesi Photo
    Blacktowndesi
    More than a month ago

    I love my hubby he knows how to get me right in the mood..... sending sexy texts, short video of wht will he do to me ,,, and building up a sexy atmosphere before our play ..... meet in the local pub after work and act as we are strangers to each other ....sexy

  • MalihaMelbourne
    More than a month ago

    Morning foreplay is the best, and little naughty messages throughout the day, yes please...

  • AugustusSeizer Photo
    AugustusSeizer
    More than a month ago

    There's also the issue of "broadcasting on the right frequency".

    I remember reading of six ways of showing love (in alpha order)
    Gifts
    Helping (getting/giving)
    Looks
    Quality time
    Touch
    Words (written or spoken)

    The idea is that we each have different "default settings" of how we like to receive loving. Find out your partner's priorities and do stuff with his/her No 1 and No 2 more than the last two.

    Your priority of receiving loving may not be your partner's. So you can be Doing Wonderful Things and your significant other doesn't notice.

    And vice versa.

    Let your S.O. know YOUR priorities too. Write down the list, sit cuddled up on the sofa, and just talk about it.

    Make it all count.

  • Intimit1 Photo
    Intimit1
    More than a month ago

    There's room & time for humping, damn gotta love it! and there is time & place for seduction! As is said, there are guys out there that are glad to seduce and can do it rather well.
    Women are less confident with seduction, pity really, but as men have to adapt, so do the ladies.
    Seduction is the zing in the sauce of sex, you can leave it out but damn! it's so much better when it's there!

  • friskypuz
    More than a month ago

    Love the build up of the meet with sexting.
    I went to a Strip and lap dancing class as a bit of fun, nice to tease and build the tension

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      Thanks sweetie good morning hope u hey are up for a long night or sex with me

  • cowgaluvoldrmen
    More than a month ago

    Now I guess in reality this would be nice ! I can’t say I’ve been seduced by a guy ! Let alone there thinking of foreplay ! Romance is nice tooo ! Maybe there will be ppl that will actually read this . True about the sweeping of the feet . Seems this day n age it’s hip into bed and hump like rabbits !
    What happened to connecting? What happened to getting to know someone?
    A lot of old values lost now days

    • Tikosta
      More than a month ago

      Oh cowgaluvoldrmen.... That is sad that you're not getting that :(. I tell men that there has to be a mental connection or it's just not that sexy. I am finding them :). Keep looking because they are out there. They are really the only ones worth making an effort for :)

    • goosebumps75 Photo
      goosebumps75
      More than a month ago

      It depends on whom you're interacting with, we exist, ready, willing and absolutely able :)

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      Yes
      Finding the guy that knows what his doing is the secret

    • strechticles
      More than a month ago

      Plenty of frogs in the pond, maybe get to know a frog, kiss him & be surprised. If you can't see the prince charming behind the frog, then stay single, waiting for your ever after.
      I think the moral to the fairytale is about being able to accept & overlook minor flaws, to find someone that appreciates you for you. I could be wrong, it could just mean look only for an 11 out of 10, regardless of your inner frog. Meanwhile back at the pond....frogs are happy just being frogs ;)

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      Yep I agree , no ones perfect that’s for sure

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      Maybe you aren’t setting your standards high enough, you aren’t going to find any class on here :( branch out, honestly if this is your only resource you’ll struggle :(

Copyright © 2019 Nicole Carrington-Sima It is illegal to use any or all of this article without the expressed, written permission from Adult Match Maker and the author. If you wish to use it you must publish the article in its entirety and include the original author, plus links, so that it is clear where the content originated. Failure to do so will result in legal action being taken.