What Men Should Know About Vaginas

If you’re a heterosexual man chances are you’re a bit curious about vaginas, you know, that elusive honey-pot at the end of the rainbow that will make all your dreams come true.

While the world is definitely starting to celebrate and educate more about them, there are still a few things about the humble vagina that aren’t as widely known or as talked about as they should be, and we feel it is important for the sexual enjoyment of everyone that these things are mentioned.

So pull up a seat, lads, and get your notebooks out. Here is a much needed lesson in the things you may not have known about vaginas, but that will help you enjoy and play with them even better once you know.

That’s Not My Name

We’re all a bit guilty of it, even me and it’s my job to know and educate about these things, but I am guessing that most of you (and yes not just the men), when you’re talking about vaginas, are probably actually meaning the vulva. While it may not seem to be too big a deal, in the interest of body positivity and education I really think it IS important in the fight against shame and negativity towards women and their bodies to use the proper names for all our bits. 

The “vagina” itself is actually only one part. The hole and tunnel that babies come out of. That’s it. The other bits have their own names and I think it’s really important we start using their proper terms. 

The vulva is the outside bit, the full lips where the pubic hair grows that houses all the other glorious folds and flaps. Those inner lips are called the labia, the outside one is the labia majora and the inner the labia minora. The sensitive pleasure spot at the top is the clitoris which, just like an iceberg, is actually far larger than the little bit you see. The whole thing is shaped like a kind of puffy wishbone and extends all the way down the vulva and can illicit all sorts of amazing sensations throughout the whole area. And then there’s the little hole where the pee comes out and that, like on guys, is called the urethra.

Each bit has it’s own function and it’s own name so start using them and appreciating their individuality.

Length and Depth

If you’ve read our Big Dicks Unzipped article then you’ll be aware of this fact, but did you know that vaginas are really only around four inches deep? They can expand and elongate a little more once they’re aroused, but for the most part, they really aren’t that long which is why so many women actually want nothing to do with those “big ten inch studs” and are far more satisfied with penises that come in the seven inch and under length. This is mostly because of the cervix. That’s the bit at the very top of the vaginal tunnel that stops things like tampons etc moving into the body and inside the uterus. You may not have had kids, but I’m sure on telly or whatever you’ve heard the phrase “the cervix is dilating” which is basically the term used when the cervix opens up to let a baby out. Otherwise it’s a pretty closed little spot and can be incredibly sensitive to the touch, meaning a big, long penis pushing against it can cause a lot of discomfort and pain. Yes, some women enjoy this sensation, and some women don’t, but if you’re wondering why women aren’t flocking to your very long penis, this could definitely have something to do with it.

Lubrication

The vagina is brilliant in that it will usually create it’s own slippery wet lubrication to aid in the comfort and pleasure of sexual intercourse, but it is super important to understand a few things. 

Firstly, just because a woman isn’t wet doesn’t mean she is not enjoying herself. For so many reasons including stress, menstrual cycle and age, a woman may not produce as much natural lubrication as she may want or need and this is where the addition of packaged lube is vital. There are some incredibly natural feeling ones on the market at the moment and it can also often be a case of once her body starts feeling the lubrication of store-bought lube, it can help to arouse the more natural state too.

And secondly, just because a woman is “wet” doesn’t necessarily mean she is aroused. It just means the vagina is working. It cleans itself by the use of discharge and lubrication and it also can just automatically do it if it feels like it may need it. In some truly awful rape cases the defence has literally used the presence of lubrication during an assault as “proof” it wasn’t rape because she was ‘obviously aroused and therefore enjoying it”. No. This is NOT true and is a terrible defence and is slowly being phased out along with the idea that a short skirt is to blame.

Women Get Erections Too

Yes, believe it or not the clitoris works in the same way a penis does. In fact, in the beginning, at conception, ALL penises are actually clitorises so the real way to say it would be that penises work in the same way clits do… But I digress.

When aroused the genital area fills with blood, creating heightened sensation and more sensitivity, and the little nub (as well as the rest of it) swells and grows and gets hard and is far more reactive to the touch than normal. The outer lips swell and get plump as well, and the whole inner area of labia and vagina glow pink and feel warm to the touch. One phrase that the internet has adopted to explain this is a lady-boner (for cis women), and it’s rather fitting, even if not everyone particularly likes the term.

Orgasms Might Not Happen And That Is Okay

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not dismissing orgasms as unimportant, and I absolutely understand that not reaching climax can be a source of great frustration and low self esteem and a whole bunch of other mental health issues and in those situations I most definitely think their worries can be valid and absolutely support people seeking help, but I am not talking about those kinds of situations. The thing is many many women (around 85% of us) cannot successfully reach orgasm from penetration alone. It’s not that our sexual partners aren’t good at what they do, it’s just the physical way our bodies are made. The majority of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Whether that is direct stimulation, a combination of internal and external touch, a particular rhythm or style, it doesn’t matter. The fact is it just isn’t going to happen without it, and for a lot of us, that’s actually okay! Not every sex session has to end in that mutual bang of fireworks. Sometimes just the intimacy and closeness to you, and the fact that you’re enjoying us, and the moment, is enough for that particular session. Yes, of course an orgasm is a wonderful end and a lovely nod to your sexual prowess, but it really isn’t the be all and end all and if, at the end of it all, she hasn’t come but she’s telling you it’s okay and she doesn’t mind, chances are she really is okay with it and you don’t have to feel like you didn’t do it right. In saying that, however, it really is important to make sure your partner is enjoying herself. It’s not a race to the finish, and coming first and rolling off without a care in the world to her pleasure is not cool and definitely makes you a shit lay.

So yes, vaginas (and vulvas and labia and clitorises) are amazing parts of the body and we should celebrate and understand and love them because not only are the women attached to them worthy of the education and knowledge surrounding their bodies, but also those who enjoy playing with them will become the best lovers in town with a healthy dose of education under their belts. So get vagina geeky and learn as much as you can about these incredible organs for the mutual satisfaction and benefit of everyone who owns one or wants to play with one.

33 Comments

  • cowgaluvoldrmen Photo
    cowgaluvoldrmen
    More than a month ago

    Lol orgasms aren’t important
    WRONG
    Well I think so anyways
    Be nice a guy to study and know what his doing !
    We may have a vagina but we also have emotions and feelings to !

  • Meanjin
    More than a month ago

    I am constantly amazed in the variation of this body organ. No other organ has so much diversity and character. Shapes, sizes and smell all different. I believe in the Marquesas Islands in the South Pacific a woman was judged by the beauty not of her face but of her vulva. There are no ugly ones, they are all beautiful. Men rejoice in their variation!

  • Bedeviled101
    More than a month ago

    Probably one of the most important things to remember about vaginas is that they have people attached to them who at any time might be happy/sad, confident/shy up for it/not or may just need a hug.

    A vagina is not a fleshlight!

  • Laugh.Play.Cum Photo
    Laugh.Play.Cum
    More than a month ago

    Great info Eva.
    Im still fascinated and astounded by the abilities and just the sheer enjoyment of playing with a vagina as a whole. lol
    I seek those ladies who squirt and while sometimes its a bit messy, it is incredibly enjoyable and a real turn on for me. I have researched the topic and been with a number of women who could squirt and i would be interested to hear your thoughts if you haven't done so already.

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      DeliciousEva
      More than a month ago

      I've written a piece on the blog about squirting if you do a search.
      And cheers for your comments!
      :)

  • Secrets Photo
    Secrets
    More than a month ago

    Lol I've called it Lady Wood for 20 years now ... always gets a giggle ;) Great Article Eva x

  • Next2017
    More than a month ago

    Great article & great comments in the thread. I think I learnt more about the vagina etc when I did a little research & practice with yoni massage. I would recommend it to both guy's and girls who want to explore the intimacies of a personal massage.

  • ImHerbieG Photo
    ImHerbieG
    More than a month ago

    Hi one the best articles I've read. I've always had a bit of a complex about size but actually no complaints. On reading your article I now know that my sexual experiences with ladies has always been so rewarding for both of us. Skin to skin contact, oral and everything else makes love making one of the best pleasures of life. make LOVE NOT WAR

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      DeliciousEva
      More than a month ago

      Yay!!
      That's why I do what I do.
      To make everyone feel good, normal, valid and exciting!!
      I'm so glad you've got some more confidence!
      Have a great day xx

  • Gordob Photo
    Gordob
    More than a month ago

    Thanks Eva
    Very informative and very well described love your work

  • ronaway54
    More than a month ago

    Nice summary. Spare a thought also for the lads who also have a good time but don't necessarily orgasm every time. I'm almost as satisfied when a woman climaxes due to my attentions as if I'm orgasming myself. I'm convinced that someone will one day find a kind of harmonic rhythm sensitivity that happens when people are in tune with each other. Often I'm so satisfied that there is no need to 'finish off'. In fact there have been times when I have been very aroused with no erection issues but after her orgasm the urgency (and the erection) goes away. No problem for me.

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      DeliciousEva
      More than a month ago

      About three or so articles down the list " Is it still sex if no one orgasms" is precisely that thought...
      :)

    • Leolady727 Photo
      Leolady727
      More than a month ago

      Hmmm, yes - I think this comment may have been aimed at another blog ;-)

    • ronaway54
      More than a month ago

      No I was replying to this blog. It mentioned something about not getting all het up if she doesn't cum. Just thought turnabout was fair play.

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      DeliciousEva
      More than a month ago

      We try to be very equal and fair so yes, for every article about one thing, there is usually a follow up or previous article that covers other sides of the same issue. Not all written by me, but we do try to link those pieces into our articles so it's easier to find them.
      We also do love suggestions and ideas for new topics and questions for our advice columns (we even have a brand new awesome columnist who is going to be doing exactly that!) so feel free to message us via Support with any suggestions.
      We love reading the comments and messages we get. Well... Mostly... Haha.
      (please no dick pics... Not aimed at OP. Aimed at everyone. Haha)

  • friskypuz
    More than a month ago

    Rarely do l cum from penetration alone, yet give me, toys fingers fist and a tongue lashing, l will cum every time, but then again I can cum from nipple play..
    We are all unique

    • Leolady727 Photo
      Leolady727
      More than a month ago

      I agree with you. I have sometimes cum from penetration, but it needs to be the right position, at the right angle etc., whereas clitoral stimulation does it every time ;-)

  • Zamboon Photo
    Zamboon
    More than a month ago

    Hmmm for once I read the whole article and enjoyed it - thankyou, I also learned a lot - I thought a Vulva was a Swedish automobile...;)
    I’m also glad that I will fit into a lady better than a 10 incher- what a great advantage..

    I do know that some ladies on here do like being fisted, they do expressly like large penises that have good girth as well, and they like double penetration etc etc which does go against some of the facts in the article - so I guess there are differences in experience and likes and wants and needs..
    I was aware of the difference in orgasms being vaginal and clitoral and also the fact that some women experience pain during intercourse and others tighten up for no reason - it’s a mine field out there with all the different issues.
    I am assuming that most of the ladies on here do experience orgasms and do enjoy sex and do know their vulvas inside out ( I still struggle with that word) otherwise I would be asking why they are on this adult sex site ? Anyway I hope everyone is attentive and caring and ensuring tremendous mind blowing orgasms .... celebrate your womanhood ....

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      DeliciousEva
      More than a month ago

      I'm not sure what facts you think fisting or DP counter against what I wrote?
      A vagina can accommodate a baby. It's certainly not a stretch (boom) to have two penises or a fist inside it.
      It can expand around 200% its width which can also help that illusion of depth with fists and arms etc...
      And, like stated, some women also enjoy the cervix being stimulated...

    • Zamboon Photo
      Zamboon
      More than a month ago

      Ok I get you - My reference basis was that you said they are “only around 4 inches deep and can expand and elongate a little more “...

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      DeliciousEva
      More than a month ago

      Well they do. Haha.
      Although, yes, they expand a lot more than they elongate.
      The link that those words take you to gives a lot more info on that specific topic, which is often why we link to other articles to confirm or elaborate on points that might not quite make a word count cut.
      :)

  • chesswiseagain Photo
    chesswiseagain
    More than a month ago

    I call it her cunt. Such an earthy sexual word that covers all the parts... Mmmmm.

  • elmobcup
    More than a month ago

    great read, and with two daughters its good to see us openly discussing that pleasure.

  • zambezi4811
    More than a month ago

    Whilst I have known the names of the various bits of a woman's genitalia, it was new for me to learn that the vagina is normally only 4in (10cm) long. What happens when she has penetrative sex with a man with a penis larger than 7in? Is the vagina so elastic as to stretch more than twice its length? That could cause quite a discomfort or pain.
    I also did not really understand Tikosta's second sentence in the second paragraph. Did she mean that the majority of women orgasm only with penetrative sex or don't orgasm with only penetrative sex?

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      DeliciousEva
      More than a month ago

      On average a penis is around 30% longer than a vagina. Yes they can stretch and accommodate (but they can't really get any longer than they are), and some cervixes are less sensitive than others, and different positions and angles can help, but like stated in the article many women cannot enjoy a long penis.
      But at the same time, the average penis length is a lot shorter than most people think it is.
      For example, a 6 inch dildo with balls you see in a shop actually only has an insertion length of around 5ish inches.
      It looks far larger than it actually is.

      As for the comment below, they are saying they disagree with the statistics of penetrative orgasm which, while anecdotal evidence can be great, doesn't match up to any other study I have read, conducted or researched in the past 20 years.
      Of course, many of those studies have been written by men who have had little interest in female pleasure, but the very same studies conducted by women net very similar results.
      It's literally biology for the most part. The distance between the vagina and clitoris and the sensitivity of the nerves of the clitoral arms.
      Which is why I talk about the importance of working out combinations of touch and stimulation so everything works in harmony with the other bits.
      The more people who begin to understand this, and take the time to learn the pleasure mechanics of the women they fuck, the more orgasms women will be having.
      This goes triple for the people who have the vaginas. Get to know it. Play with it. Learn it. Find the bits. The combinations.
      Then show your lovers exactly how you like it.

      Sex is awesome and fun, but it can also take time and care to get it perfect for the individuals enjoying it.
      The problem for so long has been the lack of interest and care and knowledge about female pleasure and the need for men to wham bam thank you ma'am, and go home.

      We're learning sex, even a hook up one night stand, is far more about connection and mutual pleasure than a single blow and go... And with that lesson comes extra homework about learning how the other side ticks.
      Luckily it's a super fun lesson and assignment everyone should partake in.

      Hope that answers your questions.
      lol

  • Naughty.40
    More than a month ago

    Nice job

  • Tikosta
    More than a month ago

    Having studied nursing in early twenties, I have always known what bits are what and yes, it gets most annoying when people don't get what a vagina is. I taught my kids to know what the correct anatomical terms were from when they were toddlers so my son always has had a penis and testicles and daughter, a vulva, labia, clitoris and vagina.

    I don't know about this stat that I keep seeing that a large majority of women don't orgasm with penetrative sex. I have only ever known women who do precisely that in my 63 years. As long as the hips are firmly on top of yours and there is a sliding, horizontal movement rather than vertical, it's all good! The only way for me to come when with a man.

    But, yes, orgasm doesn't have to occur but it gets a bit tedious if it never happens for one reason or another.

    Another great article, thank you :)

  • wickedcat Photo
    wickedcat
    More than a month ago

    I was taught by my first wife the correct terms and how each part should be treated to provide pleasure ... and also why she referred to her genitals as a "pussy" ... with the 'right' attention, it puuurrrrsss.

  • Slida181
    More than a month ago

    great article, thank you. I recently watched a TED talk by Emily Nagoski about arousal non-concordance. Basically about the disconnect between the female physical response and arousal, ..... well worth watching..... especially is you have any doubts about the "she was wet" defence.....

  • Looklustlick Photo
    Looklustlick
    More than a month ago

    Yes I knew that but it is always good to have a refresher course

  • Leolady727 Photo
    Leolady727
    More than a month ago

    Great article (as usual) Eva. One of my biggest bugbears is the practice of calling the vulva the vagina. I remember asking a guy who said on his profile that he liked to shave vaginas how he cold possibly get a razor up there ;-)

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      DeliciousEva
      More than a month ago

      Haha.
      Yes, it's something I've had to mentally learn not to do too.
      I'm still guilty of it...

      Although I shorten it to vag if I mean the whole thing. Or cunt. But it's still far better to just say vulva.

      And yes. Definitely impossible to shave a vagina. Hehe.

    • Slida181
      More than a month ago

      ohhh is that a new kinky thing or did he actually know what you were talking about?....

      But hey, to be fair we all (men and women) have/do use the incorrect word to describe female genitals. My wife has been heard to say "My vagina is itchy" she was referring to her vulva! So lets not be too critical, but rather educational.....

      I write erotic stories and always use the word vulva when writing about vulva's......

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