What You’re Doing Wrong with Condoms
Eva Sless
on 13 March 2018
38 comments
Condoms are one of the most revolutionary sexual products in the world, allowing for the sexual liberation of humans and the safety of our bodies while we do so. So what are so many people getting wrong about them?
Wrong Size
I know, I know… Yáll have ten inch cocks and so you need the super big size, and you know the girl at the checkout is totally noticing you bought them too and now she wants you real bad…
Yeah, nah. Let me tell you something, you don’t, and she really doesn’t care, and your ego can likely get you into all sorts of trouble. By trouble I mean if you’re wearing a super large condom and you don’t need to, it will probably slip off during sex. That opens both you and your partner up to unwanted disease and pregnancy and is really dumb. Condoms are supposed to be tight. They need to be. If you feel it is too tight and uncomfortably rubbing against you, before upgrading to a larger size, try a small amount of lube inside it. This can really really help (I have men tell me this all the time and I’ve seen it in effect myself) and is recommended by most sex therapists and doctors I know.
Wrong Materials
Latex and rubber sensitivities are more common than people realise and quite often people mistake the pain, discomfort or other symptoms for something else. For example I have a friend who was convinced the lube she was using was burning her. She tried a few different brands, the most natural, chemical-free ones she could, but it never made any difference. I asked her if she’d tried getting her partners to wear latex-free condoms to see if that helped… And lo and behold, she now has all the sex she wants with absolutely no burning or discomfort whatsoever. Sex should always feel good, so if it doesn’t it’s important to reassess what you’re doing and the products you’re using to see if it’s something like that. Latex free condoms are becoming far more popular these days, and, for the socially conscious of us out there, often have far less environmental impact than the other sorts too.
Distracting From The Moment
How sexy is not getting pregnant or infected with disease!? I know right! It’s WAY sexy and should be a majorly important part of all sex… This is why I believe condoms should be part of foreplay… Not an interruption to it. The minute we start looking at condoms positively and as something that helps us be as sexy and as free as we like, the minute they stop being something annoying and off-putting, and start being as vital to the sexiness as kissing! Look through our awesome condom positivity guide to get some great tips on how to incorporate them into your sexy time so you don’t break the mood, or your health!
Putting On Wrong
There is actually a very specific way of putting on condoms that, luckily, when I was at school, was part of the sex education curriculum, but that has since faded into obscurity in many schools due to the backlash of parents (don’t get me started on current state of sex education in schools… Seriously). Basically you unwrap it (do NOT unroll) place the tip at the top of your penis, SQUEEZE THE TIP to get any excess air out and roll ALL THE WAY DOWN! If you don’t squeeze the tip you have the possibility of it filling with air and slipping off (especially at the vital moment). If you don’t roll it all the way down there is the possibility of it rolling back up and off. Do NOT unroll the whole thing and then try and put it on like a sock (trust me I have seen young men do this). As mentioned above, pop a little bit of lube on the head of your penis before rolling down. This can help stop friction rubbing of the material against your skin. Don’t use too much, just enough to make it a bit shiny.
Keeping Them Too Long or Storing Them Incorrectly
That condom you have in your wallet… You know the one… You bought it in 2010 in the men’s room at the pub because you were sure you were gonna get some that night… Yeah, that one... Chuck. It. Out! Condoms have use-by-dates and you should absolutely adhere to them. You know that pack you bought a few months ago… That’s probably still in use-by… But that’s been sitting in your glove-box in your car… Your car that sits parked in the sun… Getting warmer and warmer all day…? Yeah I’d chuck them out too. Heat, even in a glove-box and not directly in the sun, can degrade the materials in condoms to be weaker and ineffective in stopping things getting through. Always keep condoms in dark, cool areas out of direct sunlight. If you do have one in your wallet, it’s a good idea to change it regularly and make sure the packaging isn’t damaged by loose coins or your keys etc.
Forgetting To Change Them
It seems obvious, but in all my years of having sex I have come across this too often so I definitely feel I need to mention it here. Once you have ejaculated, no matter how hard you still are, or how much you’d like to keep going, you NEED TO REMOVE IT AND PUT ON A NEW ONE! Seriously! Having sex with an overfilled condom is a dangerous exercise in stopping the condom from doing its job. Once it is full it will start to leak, and the excess liquid inside will cause the condom to slip off, leaving your partner to go on a not-so-nice fishing expedition in a sea of gloop (yeah, it’s gross). Another important time to change the condom is when you’re going from anal to vaginal sex. The bacteria in the anal passage will do all sorts of yucky damage to the delicate pH balances in a vagina and cause all sorts of medical problems. It’s really not worth it.
Not Wearing One
This, to me, is the biggest mistake people make with condoms. The not wearing one, or the complaining about having to. You know what, mate? Suck it up. If it’s not on it’s not on. I will never understand the tantrum-y foot-stomping I have seen from grown men asked to glove up to protect themselves and their partners. To me it should be a matter of “Ooh she wants to fuck me!! How lucky am I!?” Not some strange chore you feel forced into doing. Seriously, the best way to stop me from having sex with you is to make a fuss about safety, and most women I know are the same. If you’re experiencing discomfort from condoms experiment with new brands, new materials, lubes and sizes. Some condoms are made from ultra-thin materials so you don’t lose too much sensation and, like I say to almost anyone who complains to me about wearing one, the slight lack of sensitivity you may feel from wearing a condom is NOTHING compared to the feeling of pissing out of a syphilitic cock… So seriously, put it on before you put it in and everyone will benefit!
I also think, due to the rise in awareness over the horrible practice of stealthing - removing the condom without the consent or awareness of the person you are having sex with - I need to reiterate just how fucked up that is. It is not only dangerous to both your health, it is a direct violation of the consent you have been given and therefore turns it into a form of sexual assault which is disgusting and illegal and, thankfully, finally starting to be recognised and prosecuted as such. Just don’t do it. If you are the sort of person who is so adamant about not wearing one that you will lie and put your partner at risk… Then I hope the full force of the law hits you… Or, you know, find someone to fuck who is okay with bareback.
38 comments
PLAYMATE938
More than a month agoYou cant trust anyone in these enlightened times!! If it NOT ON ITS NOT ON!!!!!!!!!
Replysimpatico42
More than a month agoThanks Eva, great information.
ReplyAlso note there is one way to roll a condom. Too often I have seen a guy start then realise it’s on upside down then slip it off and turn it the right way( with the roll on the outside) There could be pre cum already on the condom which would go directly inside me. Some condoms are clever enough to have a dot that indicates correct side to roll.
cowgaluvoldrmen
More than a month agoIf it’s not on it’s not on , lol some men think it’s just fine to not wear one, they’ll pull out lol come on some of us get caught up in the moment
Replychris12510s
More than a month agoIf this came from a man, i might have consider it, but female telling a male how to use a condom, is like a male telling a female how to brestfeed.
Stick with what you know.
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ReplyDeliciousEva
More than a month agoYeah, okay, buddy...
You go ahead and put yourself and your partners at risk...
That'll show that pesky woman writer that you don't take no professional advice from no bitch!
Haha.
Pathetic.
chris12510s
More than a month agoYou are right about one thing (bitch you are).
I never said that I am putting my partner (or myself) to risk, as matter of fact, I use condom all the time (trust no one), but to take advice from an uneducated feminist, who is telling man what to do with his dick? Well, perhaps you should have one before you're entitled to pass your's self-interest judgement.
Really, it is a shame that people like you get published to begin with.
Stick to your pussy (assuming you know what to do with it).
Account Closed
More than a month agoAnother whiny MRA - I am SOO sick of them and wonder why AMM even publishes their ignorant comments.
Oceananearth
More than a month agoIt takes two to tango dickwad
Zamboon
More than a month agoI agree with Leolady, well said...what an idiot remark Chris... and I hope Ocean was in support of LL
Account Closed
More than a month agoAnother for the NTBF list :-), thanks Eva
massageguy676
More than a month agoThank you for writing and sharing this info. This info should be published every week.
Could you write another story about foreplay and what we can catch when we indulge in unprotected oral sex?
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ReplyAMM.Editor
More than a month agoWe do have an article about foreplay which as already been published - Get your lover's motor running - and if you use the Search field you can search for "STI" and "oral" and find related articles for your other question.
GetYouPregnant
More than a month agoWhat you're doing wrong with Condoms.. Buying them !!!..
ReplyMortdale
More than a month agoThank you. I didn't know about squeezing the air out.
Replyallinmymind
More than a month agoFor those of us not that familiar with precum, I thought some advice on precum before putting one on would be reassuring.
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ReplyZamboon
More than a month agoHmmm I would’ve thought you would know all about precum ... I heard some where that is as potent as sperm but I’m not sure , it certainly is body fluid of the DNA stuff so if you’re scared of that then you should use them, as for the rest it’s a natural, many wome precum and I for one drip it all over the place
allinmymind
More than a month agoSo if there is precum and the man puts on the condom, one would assume it gets on the outside. And no, only a few times if that, hence the question. At the time I thought I was silly, but still since we are talking condoms, how do they protect against precum?
Zamboon
More than a month agoGotcha - but I’m not sure how the precum gets on the outside, I’m not an expert with these things but the few times I’ve used them I always put my penis into the correct side of the condom - so I don’t think it’s that serious - especially when you consider you can get gonorrhoea from giving and receiving blow jobs .... use a dam ? Not moi!
friskypuz
More than a month agoRemember that add years ago that showed a couple together, then it showed a many others as in the others they had sex with.. I don't know who else you have been with and dont plan on taking any chances,,
If its not on, its not on..simple
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Replydavemarvinm
More than a month agoAgree 100% very good advice
Zamboon
More than a month agoHardly ever used them and I certainly never bought them either, maybe I was just lucky - as far as pregnancy goes I always believed it was the woman to make sure she was protected and they always did - I hated putting them on and felt it was a mood breaker - that was when I was young and aids hadn’t been invented - in my latter years I did notice that at swingers parties and gang bangs the ladies sometimes suffered from thrush the day after having had a few condoms inside them ...
On a lighter note aparrently in Japan the condoms are much smaller - never seen an outsize one and I’m not the biggest...
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Replyallinmymind
More than a month agoI don't think thrush comes from that sorta thing.
Zamboon
More than a month agoI’m pretty sure that’s what I got told although I’m not an expert on female problems in fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen it... must’ve been something like it then..
AMM.Editor
More than a month agoIf you are allergic to latex then you "may" get thrush from using condoms and alternatively it could be an allergic reaction to the spermicidal lubricant used. But I'm not an expert on this, google is my friend.
allinmymind
More than a month agoThrush is a yeast infection that is not sex related. Obviously diet can be an issue. Haven't had it for years, what's changed? I have no idea. Just know it is itchy and a bit of oral doesn't hurt, ie helps lol
AMM.Editor
More than a month ago@allinmymind Direct quote from an Aussie health source "Thrush is not considered a sexually transmitted infection because you do not need to have had sex to become infected. Thrush can sometimes be passed on during sex, and sexual activity can make it worse." so it can be sex related.
xFunlovingx
More than a month agoPutting a condom using my mouth drives them wild!
I don't give them time to chuck a tanty.....If I know I'm going to fuck them I have that baby open and ready to pop in my mouth.
Loss of sensation? Then how do so many over the years don't even realise it's on? Mmmm practice does make perfect.
If it's not on..... it's definitely not on!
Great piece Eva.
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ReplyZamboon
More than a month agoMust say that’s happened to me with one girl who was amazing and you’re right I never felt it go on- amazing gift... ;)
tastetester61
More than a month agoFunlover, I would never want you tricking me like that. Hell!!! I want to watch you. If you ever need someone to practice on, I'm willing to be your "stand-in" for that hot act. I don't fit all your criteria, but I am a shift working uniform wearer. ;)
GetYouPregnant
More than a month agoThey're excellent for making Balloons out of..
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ReplyZamboon
More than a month agoLol and for carrying alcohol in your water bottle during army ops... and for putting over your head and blowing it up through your nose - great party trick...
GetYouPregnant
More than a month agoIf God wanted Men to use Condoms, we'd have all been born with rubber on our dicks... If it's on, it's not on
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoUgggghhh - I can only imagine the number of STIs you would have !
FancyTicklers
More than a month agoAll fine until the last section, and then you totally lost me. A 'slight lack of sensitivity' is something you only talk about when you completely misunderstand... or maybe just don't care, about the complete loss of sensation that condoms give. There IS a huge difference between a feeling of pressure and the sensation of skin touching skin. Condoms rob a male of a significant amount of pleasure.
Nevertheless, they are an essential tool in the fight against disease, and I support the wearing of them.... what I don't support is the 'How lucky am I' attitude, as if any male that gets to have sex should bow down and be grateful?!?! That sucks.
If you want to make sure that your male partners all wear condoms then try being a bit more sensitive about it, rather than arrogant... it will get you a lot further.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoAgree
MsSquirts
More than a month agoVery true
tastetester61
More than a month agoCouldn't agree more.
Account Closed
More than a month agoDo any of the women who have commented miss the feeling of skin on skin and the marvelous sensation of a man ejaculating inside them?