Lube: the essential sexessory

It’s slippery, sensual and sexy, and is one of the most essential, versatile, and important accessories to have in your sex kit. From enhancing pleasure and comfort, to a thousand uses you never even thought of, lube is absolutely brilliant and should be celebrated as one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century.

Solo Play

Whether you’re flicking the bean or tugging your log, or any other variation of having sex with yourself, lube can help make things even better. Perfect for use with just your hands, or squirted liberally along a vibrator or inside a masturbation sleeve, it’s that little extra something to make your something a little bit extra. 

Vulva and Shaft Love

For many of us, masturbation is just about getting one out as quick as you can and then getting back to the vacuuming, but have you ever just taken the time to seduce and tease yourself and really enjoy the sensations you can create on your own? Using lube is a really great way to slowly build yourself up to those incredible feelings. Squirt a whole lot over your vulva or shaft and just run your fingertips gently over the area. Don’t rush for the sensitive clitoris or head, trail them lightly around the outside, up and down. Give yourself little gentle squeezes and pushes, use the slipperiness of the lube and the ticklishness of your fingertips to illicit new and shivery sensations all around your most sensitive areas.

Explore The Nooks And Crannies

Hey, penis owners, while tickling and teasing yourself, try sliding a slippery-lubey finger along your perineum towards your anus. Or use one or two fingers to gently play with the head of your cock while your other hand massages your balls. The more lubey and wet it is the softer you can play but, because of this slippery-softness, the more intense some of the sensations will be.

Vulva owners, try slowly pinching together the vulva and labia with one hand, hiding the clitoris underneath, while sliding a finger from the other hand up and down the slit over the hidden bump, but not touching it directly, and then all the way down, beyond the vagina towards your butt… Get that sensual tease on. 

No matter what bits you have, the longer you build it up and the slower more sensual way you touch and play, the more intense and amazing the release will be when you finally let yourself come, and using lube liberally will allow you so much more surface movement and ranges of touch and pressure which just adds to the intensity and deliciousness of your own touch.

Breaking Bad

Condoms are vital to good, safe sex and (with some exceptions, sure) should be used every time you have penetrative sex. Yeah, I know, a lot of y’all don’t like them for one reason or another, but for the most part, the alternative risks are really just not worth it and there are some things you can do to make them feel a bit better and keep them a little safer.

For example, one of the most common reasons a condom breaks is because of friction in an unlubricated area. While yes, vaginas do create their own lubricant, it’s not always enough, and not all sex takes place in them, so it’s always a good idea to use lube liberally and generously to avoid any unnecessary panic or stress which always happens when a condom breaks. 

Rub n Tug

On another side of it, one of the most regular complaints I get from men about condoms is that, even when using the correct size, it pulls and rubs against the head and frenulum creating a raw and painful graze. I have personally witnessed first-hand the results of such friction and all I can say is ouch, I totally get why that would turn you off condoms for sure! However, many years ago, an old fuck-buddy of mine showed me a little trick he does which changed his sex-life, and saved his penis, and which I have since passed on to many many men in my world who have all come back with “omg wow it works!” Basically all you need to do is put a small amount of lube along the head of the penis and frenulum before you put the condom on. This stops the latex (or non latex materials in some) from sticking to, and rubbing uncomfortably along, the head and shaft, resulting in a far more comfortable and, according to the penis owners in my life, enjoyable sensation when used for fucking. Only use a small amount, though. Too much and the condom may slip off during activity and then it’s no use to anyone.

Into a Tight Spot

Yes, we all know I’m mostly referring to anal sex here, and if you’ve ever had it, you’ll absolutely agree with me. Lube. Is. Essential. There is absolutely NO natural lubrication in the anal passage and, even if you’re a double vag/double anal mega-stretch queen of the gape (go you!) you understand the very necessary and vital importance of using lube when it comes to anal sex. 

For both comfort and ease of insertion, as well as the safety and integrity of the condom itself (read above paragraph), lube lube lube lube LUBE! I cannot say it enough. Lube.

It’s not just butts that may be a bit of a tight squeeze made easier with lube though. Fisting, over-sized toys, double penetration all of that yummy, stretchy goodness can be made better with lube.

And for penises too! Have you ever tried to roll on a tight cock ring? Especially if you have pubic hair down there? Yeah, I can see you wincing a little at the memory… Try lubing it up before stretching it over. You don’t need too much, just enough to stop the skin from pulling and the hairs from ripping out. It really does make a difference and your penis will thank you.

The Miscellaneous Magic Of Lube

So Smooth

Do you shave your bits? Do you find that when you use shaving cream or soap it not only takes forever to cut through all the soap and hair, but it also makes it a bit impossible to see what you’re doing until you wash it all away only to have to re-lather yourself and start all over again… Rinse, repeat, ad nauseum, etc etc? Do you find the soap a little bit irritating to that sensitive skin? Would you rather a quicker, softer, and less annoying way to do it?

Well I am about to let you in on a little secret I learned while sex working and that I have taken with me and shared with as many people as I can: Silicone lube is the BEST shaving accessory you will ever need. 

For vulvae and balls and all the fiddly bits, just rub some on in the shower and start shaving! The running water doesn’t affect it at all until you add a bit of body wash or soap, and you can see every fold and flap and bump and curve you need. It doesn’t seem to clog up the razor as much or as quickly as it does with soap either, and afterwards your skin has never felt so amazingly smooth and touchable. 

I do want to make it very clear, however, that your shower or bath floor can get UBER slippery, and you need to be careful where and how you place your feet lest you fall and hurt yourself. But, as with above, just rinse a bit of soap or shower gel over the floor before you get out and it will lift off easily and wash away.

So Shiny

Another brilliant use for silicone lube is as a latex shiner for those slinky, shiny, tight-as-a-second-skin rubber outfits. You can even use it instead of powder to slide the tight, sticky latex over your skin, but it’s best use with that material is to use it to keep it super shiny and smooth for those moments you really want to stand out in a crowd.

Another bright and shiny use for silicone lube (and one company, Jo, actually use it as a selling point for their silicone range) is as a tattoo enhancer, especially for those with colour in them. No shit, rub a small amount of silicone lube over your tats and they will be glowing and bright like it was fresh yesterday! 

Run out of hair straightening oil? Yep, you guessed it, a drop or two of silicone lube can work as a substitute in a pinch. Trust me. I have bright blue hair, and regularly straighten and oil it, and there is very little difference between the final results when I’ve used silicone lube instead.

Out Of A Tight Spot

• Tried on your friend’s engagement ring and now you can’t get it off? Lube. 
• Kid got their finger stuck somewhere they shouldn’t? Lube. 
• Window a bit rusty and dragging against the frame when you open it? Lube. 
• Used a rubber band instead of a hair-tie and now you’re about to shave your head cos you cannot for the life of you get it out? Lube. 
• Kids whinging because there’s no ice cream topping? Flavoured lube.

It really is remarkable and so versatile a product it should be in every household bedroom, bathroom, and that third drawer down in the kitchen that’s always full of crap. 

Lube. Use it. Love it. Live it. It could save your life.