Top 5 Sex Positions that put Her in Control

Man and woman sharing an intimate moment in each other's arms

For many women, sex education and advice over the years has been pretty shitty. Even as recently as the last decade, women and girls are taught that sex is something that happens TO them, rather than it being a mutually enjoyable and beneficial activity for all involved. We’ve all heard the phrase “Just lie back and think of England” or something similar that suggests women should just “put up” with sex for the sake of their partners and almost every sex scene in almost every movie or TV show shows the basic “missionary position” putting women in the passive seat and men in control.

As mature, open-minded adults we know this is ridiculous and sexist and that many men enjoy letting their lady take the reins in the bedroom so we’ve selected five of the best sex positions that put her in control and let you guys lie back and enjoy the ride.


Cowgirl (and Reverse)

This position is a favourite of so many women (and their partners) for a bunch of reasons. The angles that she can achieve by a slight adjustment of her hips can allow for amazingly deep penetration as well as that sometimes-tricky-to-find G-spot stimulation.  She has all the control in the movement and can dictate how fast, how slow and how deep she wants it. Forward facing the couple can kiss and share intimate eye contact. He can stimulate her breasts and nipples and, just quietly, it’s also an incredible abs and thighs workout! In reverse she has that same control of angles and movement, and he gets to watch her delicious back and butt move on top of him. Win win!


Lotus Position

Similar to Cowgirl in the fact that she is essentially “on top” but both partners are sitting up with her on his lap and her legs wrapped around him. This is a gorgeously intimate position that brings two bodies super close together for hugging, kissing, stroking and eye contact. Because she is on the top position she regulates the movement, the depth, and the rhythm and puts her in the driver’s seat. Vroom vroom!

Blindfold Sex

Technically this can be in any position (although I wouldn’t recommend it for missionary or any where he needs to see what’s going on like standing up in the shower sex), but blindfolding your man and having your wicked way with him is a great way to change that power dynamic and have him in the palm of your hand. Tease him and please him and indulge yourself with his body… You could even tie his wrists to the bedpost to make sure he’s completely under your spell and at your command. 



Pegging is the ultimate in female controlled positions. Although I do recommend (especially to new players) that you let him dictate the speed and depth of the penetration, there is something incredibly empowering and commanding about penetrating your man in one of his most sensitive and pleasurable areas. Seriously, guys, having your prostate stimulated is not only an amazing way to discover new sensations and ways to orgasm, it absolutely, 100% does not make you gay. In fact the ONLY thing that will ever make you gay is, wait for it…. Being gay. Check out my What, How, Why of Pegging article for more information!

Seated Oral

While technically not a sex position in the basic idea of sex being penetrative, this is still on the list because a) sex isn’t just penetration, and b) it’s freaking awesome. Seriously, there’s something incredibly hot about having your man kneeling in front of you as you sit back in a chair and let him go down on you. You will feel like an Empress on a throne. You can move your hips and body, and grab onto his hair and head (with consent of course) and just grind yourself into his face, for want of a better term. Let your inner power out and don’t let him stop til you’re a quivering mess of orgasmic bliss.


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  • xenaprincess


    More than a month ago

    It's hard avin sex when uve both got a pretty big belly. There's not much u can do, coz both of ur stomachs get in the way, unfortunately.

  • MandyMaree2973


    More than a month ago

    Pegging, I get it but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea is it. I’m not interested in doing it and I’ve been asked a few times. Not really a ‘ sexual ‘ position more a chosen act I think :),

  • FiftyOneShades


    More than a month ago

    Just be careful with the reverse cowgirl ladies & gents, you could fracture his penis!

    From this article on AMM - These are the most common sex injuries - comes this scary fact

    "A dedicated team of Brazilian researchers looked into the most common causes and found that the reverse cowgirl position was the number one reason behind it. While we’re not going to tell you to stop enjoying the reverse cowgirl, it’s a good reminder to be very careful."

  • Affection1957


    More than a month ago

    I totally Agree with the Opening paragraphs of this Blog. Being a man, I would Absolutely love for a women to enjoy sex just as much as a Guy. Sex is definitely NOT something that just happens.
    Making Love requires the participation of both partners, being engaged with one another and expressing mutual pleasure to one another. For me this would be a dream come true.
    Giving freely of one another without feeling guilty or inhibited.
    When I got married, our sex life was dreadful, being in my first time relationship, my wife would not have sex unless we were under the blankets, and would even complain if I left a bedside light on.
    BORING !!!! Everyone knows that a man need visual stimulation to get aroused.
    I am fully aware that a woman takes longer to feel aroused, and my wife would STOP herself from letting Go. I would have loved to have ben able to see and touch her body and make her aroused with my touch, but she made it so incredibly difficult for me to feel satisfied, and she never got to feel fully satisfied as a result either. So I have had a lack lustre sex life. Even though, I know how to please a woman, I have never had the opportunity to make passionate tender love to a woman.
    This made me extremely frustrated as my wife would NOT even give or receive oral Sex.

    I have always felt comfortable in my body, but my wife was the complete opposite!

    I would have loved to have tried making love in the Cowgirl position, especially sitting on a comfortable chair, being able to caress her body and be able to show and express loving affection whilst still engaging in sexual intercourse. For her to be able to control the movement to her own satisfaction, but it was never to be. And I have been sexually frustrated at not being able to be explore my sexuality in a way that I would like to.

  • openminded1984


    More than a month ago

    Nothing is hotter to me than when a woman sits on my face. The power dynamic is so varied too. She is on top and has me pinned, and yet my tongue and mouth control her clitoral pleasure...

  • trusted8


    More than a month ago

    Guys, just ask what your lady wants you to do for them...put them in charge and listen to their desires carefully. (Hopefully it includes your involvement). Ultimately, the benefits will be for the both of you.

    • Affection1957

      Account Closed

      More than a month ago

      Hello trusted8.
      I would have been quite happy to have experienced a very open and honest sexual relationship with my wife.
      When I married her she was a Virgin. I was inexperienced at being in a relationship as my wife was my first steady girlfriend at 32.
      I would have absolutely loved to have made passionate sensual love to my wife. But it was obvious that she had body issues and I never got to see her naked.
      Unless l walked into the bathroom when she was having a shower.
      Every time that I had sex with her she would not do it unless we were under the blankets and did not believe in oral sex.
      And I have been frustrated ever since. I have not had sex with her for nearly five years now because it is just not satisfying as it has never felt completely fulfilled.
      I would dearly love to enjoy adventurous sex in a sensual way, without being under the bloody blankets.

  • chesswiseagain


    More than a month ago

    Him laying down. How about her putting her pussy on his mouth and moving around until his tongue finds her clit and licks away, while she plays with and sucks his cock at the same time. Again, win-win!!

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