I’m really curious about butt plugs!


Q: I'm really curious about, and want to start trying, anal sex, but my partner is quite a large so I'm a bit nervous about the initial pain and stuff. Someone told me butt plugs are a good way to get yourself ready. Is this true? What would you recommend?

The bum is different to the vagina!

Anal sex is definitely a lot different to, and therefore takes different preparation for, vaginal sex. The main reasons being that the anal cavity is nowhere near as elasticised or stretchable, nor does it produce any natural lubrication, and the fear of mess can also be very off-putting.

The mess factor is easily fixed by using an anal douche, they're pretty basic to use and are really effective in clearing out any remains and helping to ease your mind, making it a lot easier to relax and focus on more pleasurable things.

As for the preparation to get ready for a penis, yes. I definitely recommend working your way up to that size. This will not only get your body used to taking larger items, it will also help you mentally prepare for the larger ones.

Training and Preparing

The best products for this sort of process are “anal training kits”, which have been designed specifically for this very purpose. They most often contain three (3) different sized plugs, starting nice and thin, and working their way up to larger sizes. A couple of good brands who do these are Colt, Fun Factory and Tantus, all slightly different in their shapes and designs and all really excellent quality.

It's a really good idea to go in store and look at them properly, because it can be really hard, even with measurements laid out, to get a real idea of the size and shape of a toy online, as well as the texture and flexibility (or not) of the material. 

The most important thing when buying toys for anal play, is that they are proper anal toys with a good flared base on it. This will stop the toy from moving up into the anal cavity an getting lost. Unlike the cervix inside the vagina, there is nothing to stop the toy from travelling inside your body to an irretrievable place, and that's a trip to the ER you don't want to have to make.

Because of the way the nerves and skin of the anus opening are, this entry point can often be the one that gives the most discomfort and pain, so if you think this might be something that will effect you, have a look for a toy with a thinner neck to begin with while you're getting used to the feeling of having something inside there (The G-Plugs by G-Vibe/FT Toys are great for this, although in saying that, for anal sex you will have to get used to that opening being, well, open) and ask in store (or search online) for anal relaxing sprays and lubricants. 

Oh What A Feeling!

DO NOT, under any circumstances, buy products that numb the area. These are super dangerous and can cause all sorts of issues. The main reason I don't recommend them is because you have pain receptors there for a reason. The skin around and inside the butt is very very delicate and easily torn (this also means it's super susceptible to STIs as well, so always remember to practice safe sex). If you numb the area you will have no idea what is happening down there and you can cause all sorts of later pain and complications. Also, I don't understand the idea of numbing it anyway. Isn't the whole idea of sex to feel good? What's the point if you can't feel it? 

Specialised anal relaxing lubes and sprays can help to make the sphincter looser and more accepting to entry, and they also don't take away any sensation, so you can still gauge how it feels and take it at your own pace.

Always use loads of lubricant. Like heaps. The thicker and more gel-like it is, the longer it will last in the area, and that's what you really want. Don't be afraid to reapply as often as you want/need. If you're using silicone toys it's best to use a water-based lube with them to avoid damaging the toy's material. 

I usually recommend something like Wicked Jelle or any of the Pjur Back Door or Analyse Me range, which also incorporate relaxing agents and other soothers (although a lot of them are silicone based, so always read the label and talk to the experts).

To Buzz or Not to Buzz?

When it comes to vibrating or non-vibrating toys that's totally a personal experience thing and something you'll need to work out for yourself. One thing I often tell people when they're making this decision is, if you buy a vibrating one but never want to turn it on, then that's cool. You don't have to. But if you buy a non-vibrating one and then decide you'd like to try the buzz, there's nothing you can do about it but buy another toy. Not all brands offer vibrating options either, so again, it's a good idea to really look around and find the best one for you and your needs.

In the end, the best and simplest advice I can give you is to take it slowly, use lots of lube, be aware of what you're feeling, and enjoy another step in your sex journey and another feather in your experience cap!


  • shellygurl1970
    More than a month ago

    What a great article you have written!
    Its great to see someone who takes the time to explain how to approach anal sex.
    As being on the receiving end of it,i hope people will understand how sensitive this area is!
    Well done!

  • northofthewall
    More than a month ago

    One of the most useful things I found from the Adult Shop was a syringe specifically designed to deliver lube to the anal area. You just remove the plunger, fill the cylinder with lube, reinsert the plunger and you're good to go. Slide the tip of the syringe into your partner's butt hole and slowly depress the plunger. The advantage, of course, is that her anal passage is completely filled with lube and totally ready for you. I was also told that the sensation of the lube being delivered deep inside was itself pleasurable, so the whole thing starts off well.

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      More than a month ago

      Yes they're really good for precision lubing!
      You can also by one-off individual lube syringes.

      Can never have too much lube.

    More than a month ago

    Yes very different feeling, for us a well lubed finger ( No long or rough nails) allows to feel the different layers upon entry so as not to force when you think you are in, then progress to toys. Enjoy

  • DickOSteel
    More than a month ago

    An article about butt plugs and no mention of pegging!! Can't wait to be pegged. Im really keen. BTW pegging is the use of a strap on dildo in your lvers butt. Hot

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      More than a month ago

      We covered Pegging extensively in our article "Bend over Bro" published in August

  • pony66666
    More than a month ago

    I have always had the fantasy of being bent over some pillows or the arm of a lounge chair and have my butt hole played with for preparation of a girl fucking me with a strap-on. Only reason I have yet to experience this wonder sensation, is so far no girl has wanted to do this. They have all said things like "how off putting" or "that is not normal" and other similar like comments. I just see this is me, enjoying sex in all it's incredible forms of variety. I thought it might turn on and excite the girl too. I now propose to all your female readers, are my past lovers and sex friends right?

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      Hope it happens for you "unbelievable"

    • DeliciousEva Photo
      More than a month ago

      Many women enjoy giving it.
      You can set your preferences to find a girl who enjoys "giving anal"

      Good luck! Hope you find her.

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      Thank you DeliciousEva. I have added "Strap-on F Given" to my interests in my profile.

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      Thanks to you too DUBVEGAS, I too hope it happens. There surely has to be one girl on AMM who shares equal attraction willing to ride me.
      She will be repaid in many ways sexually.

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