What is Sexual Fasting?

A cold beer at the conclusion of Dry July tastes like the best beer you’ve ever drunk. But can abstaining from sex help you last longer or give you stronger orgasms?  

What is Sexual Fasting?

Sexual fasting is making a choice to abstain from sexual activity for a set period of time. 

The phrase first hit the news in 2020 where several celebrities talked about how it had a positive effect on their sex life. Kourtney Kardashian abstained from sex as part of an Ayurvedic cleanse and Terry Crews completed a 90 day fast to help him overcome what he felt was a porn addiction and improve his relationship with his partner.

But sexual fasting isn’t a new concept. Tantra practitioners practice orgasm denial, and in the BDSM community it’s a form of consensual power exchange common in D/s relationships. For example the male might be owned and cock caged, or the submissive may only be allowed to orgasm on command from their Dominant partner. 

What you decide to give up is an individual choice. You may decide to only forgo sexual intercourse or you may choose to abstain from all sexual activity or contact. And the length of time is also an individual decision. It might be a week or it might be weeks or months. Again, it’s what you feel you need. You can choose to do it solo, or if you have a partner, you both might decide to give it a try.

Is Sexual Fasting just another name for Celibacy?

On the surface they may seem to be the same, but it comes down to the motivation for choosing to abstain. Celibacy is often practiced due to cultural expectations or adherence to a religious directive whilst sexual fasting is about an individual’s choice to abstain for a period of time with the aim of improving some aspect of their sex life or relationship. And it’s not about being in the middle of a sex drought, it’s a conscious decision with an end date and your own prescribed set of rules to follow. 

Can Sexual Fasting improve your sex life?

Perhaps! Some of the claims are:

• Lasting longer in bed
• Stronger orgasms
• Increased libido
• Improved sexual health
• Improved emotional wellbeing  

Does Sexual Fasting live up to the hype?

There is no scientific evidence to support the claims being made but people do report being more energized, feeling sexier and hornier. 

If you’ve ever found that your fave vibrator has flat batteries (back in the day) or your partner is too tired to have sex you know that being denied a sexual release builds up sexual frustration. And it can make the eventual release so much more intense, as anyone who has practiced edging will attest to. Basically the build up of sexual tension is one of the key reasons people decide to try sexual fasting. And, unlike edging where you know you and your partner will eventually orgasm this is a more considered decision to withdraw from sexual contact. 

And other than the physical benefits there can be emotional benefits: 

• If you are partnered then removing that sexual connection may give you time to connect on a deeper intimate level especially if sex is the primary connection you have. 
• If you feel you have developed unhealthy sexual patterns it can provide the opportunity to re-assess and adjust. 
• If you typically use sex as a form of stress release but you’re finding it’s no longer effective then a sex fast could give you a chance to reset.
• If you want to be in a serious relationship but keep settling for casual sex, or feel you are on the sex escalator, then a sex fast might give you time to re-assess those patterns and help you gain an insight into what you really want. 
• Choosing not to focus on sex or sexual encounters means you can put your energy into other activities.
• And if you are healing from a breakup, grief or trauma it can give you time to focus on your emotional needs. 

Remember, the choices you make about your sex life and your body are your choices. Sex fasting isn’t going to be for everyone but we are curious to hear feedback if you’re tried it.