Edging is a sex and masturbation practice I reckon I've been doing since before I knew it had a name or any of the benefits that come along with it. I just loved doing it because it was a way to draw out my self-play and always seemed to make my orgasms that much stronger... Which is actually one of the main benefits of it. One of the best things about it is it can be used by both women and men, with amazing benefits for both, and it can also be as vanilla or as kinky as you like. It crosses all sexualities, all genders, all levels of sexual experience and all levels of play time. It is, in my opinion, one of the best things about sex, pleasure and orgasms, and it's not even that hard to do!
So What Is Edging?
Edging is the process of building up your orgasm til you're juuuuuust about to get over the edge... And then stopping... Allowing your body and your breathing to get back to normal-ish... And then doing it again. Over and over. It can be a little bit tricky sometimes to gauge exactly where you need to stop, but really, when you think about it, even if you kind of screw up and end up coming... Well, that's hardly a bad thing, and it's still heaps and heaps of fun learning how and working out all your body's orgasm signals.
How do I learn and what do I do?
By practice. Heaps and heaps of practice. Sex homework! Get on it! I can guarantee it's way more fun than working on your piano scales, or memorising mathematical formulas. The key thing you'll need is time. Those quickie flicks and wham-bam wanks are all very well and good, but for the process of edging you really need to set aside a good chunk of uninterrupted time. Settle in, put on some music, grab your favourite toy - although if you have a favourite toy that's your go-to wham-bammer, perhaps find one a bit less strong or use on a lesser setting – and start your journey!
Some great tips are to keep your breathing steady, and your touch light, and use lots of lube to keep the slipperiness and arousal up. Focus on the sensations you're feeling. Get it to that peak, that edge, that “omg I think I'm gonna...” And then stop. Just stop. Relax. Feel your heartbeat slow and your breathing steady. Once you're a bit calmer, start again. It can be good at this stage to change to another setting on your toy, or use your fingers to change it up a bit, and do it all again. See how many peaks you can reach and stop at.
When you do finally allow yourself to come, it will be huge. The constant build up and release, the tension, the arousal... Will all culminate in an explosive orgasm that you'll wanna write home about.
What about Guys?
The practice of edging is pretty much exactly the same for both men and women. The build up, the relaxing, the re-build. It's all absolutely possible for people with any sort of genitalia to do. One of the best and biggest benefits of edging for men is in the training of the body to last longer when having sex. Guys are bombarded with advertising shame about premature ejaculation, even though the majority of men who believe they have a problem with it actually don't, and are just men who have, unfortunately, been shamed into believing they're shit in bed. It's cool, guys. Us girls get it. We know exactly what it's like to have advertisers and the mass media tell you you're not good enough, hot enough, thin enough, good enough in bed, wearing the right shit, looking the right way... We know. It doesn't make it any easier though. Which is why we all consume like mad and try to “fit in”. But before you go spending money on expensive nasal sprays or pills or creams or even cock rings and other toys designed to help prolong you, give this training technique a try. It's fun, free, non-invasive, and really can work to get you feeling more confident in the bedroom.
Edging with Others
Edging is such a fun thing to incorporate into your playtime and sex life. It's probably not the best thing to do on a one night stand, purely for the fact that it usually requires not only a lot of communication and time, but also because it really does count on you knowing a lot about your partner's body, noises, reactions and spots. That's not to say you can't do it on a one-night-stand, because you can do anything you want to as long as it's consensual, and I am not the sex police, but it's more an observation from my own experiences.
The key is to use your ears and eyes as well as your other sexy bits. Listen for that build, that quickening of breath. Feel the way they tense up, take them right to the brink of explosion... But don't let them reach it. Move away from where you're touching and do something else. Kiss them, stroke their arms, whisper to them. Let them calm down, and then start again.
Kinking it Up
As I mentioned in the beginning, edging can be as vanilla or as kinky as you want it. Within the kink community, edging is often referred to as “orgasm denial/control” and can be used in all sorts of ways to control and tease and play. Incorporating it into spanking play, or restraint play, or really any sort of play brings a whole new dimension to your experience and can culminate in some of the most intense and erotic orgasms and experiences you've ever had. Seriously, you don't even have to be that kinky, just try it with a blindfold on and it will change the experience to one of a sensory celebration.
However you decide to bring it into your sex life, edging can really help build up not only your orgasms, but also your sex-confidence as well. Learning how to create explosive, toe-curling orgasms in your partner can have you feeling like Casanova, a master of sex, or a goddess of pleasure. It can restore the confidence of men who feel like they're not performing like they should, and can help women achieve mind-blowingly good orgasms and even multiple ones. It is, quite simply, one of the best, cheapest and natural highs you can get, and it's right at your fingertips. Literally.