What’s the Bloody Fuss about Period Sex?

If you have a uterus, chances are you’re going to bleed out of it every month for the majority of your adult life and, to be blunt, it’s a bit shit for the most part.

It’s messy. It hurts. It makes you poop a lot, and, surprisingly to some, it can also make you incredibly horny.
So what’s the deal with it all? Is period sex okay and safe? Can it be harmful or good for you? What are the risks? The benefits? Well…. I’m glad you asked.

Horny Is Normal

When I talk about period sex I almost always get at least two or three people say confessionally “I actually like it. I’m so horny that time of month, I must be weird, huh?” and my response is always NO YOU ARE NOT WEIRD YOU ARE NORMAL!! See, when you get your period your body goes through a cycle of hormonal drops and increases – starting at ovulation about two weeks before your period, and throughout the actual bleed – and these ups and downs of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone all play a major role in our libidos, our feelings of well-being, and our sex-drives. During ovulation and bleeding our bonding and “love” hormones (estrogen), as well as our “take me right now” hormones (testosterone) are at all-time highs, increasing our desire to be connected to someone, as well as our desire to be sexual. While our progesterone, which can be a bit of a downer and reduce sex-drives and libido, is at an all-time low. So you can see, it’s totally not weird or abnormal at all, it’s just science! And how can you argue with that?

Pain Relief and Anti Depressants

Of course, in saying all that I do know that for a lot of people, regardless of hormones and science, that time of the month is one of bad cramps, bloating, tiredness, and crankiness… Not really conducive to sexy time, huh? Well what if I told you that sex during your period can actually help relieve a lot of that stuff? Yeah, it can be a bit tricky to “get in the mood” when you’re feeling a bit gross, but there have been quite a few studies that show that having an orgasm can actually work as pain relief for a bunch of different ailments from migraines to back-aches, and yes, for that horrible cramping pain and discomfort you can get on your period. Basically what happens when you orgasm is your uterus contracts and releases, which can actually smooth out and stop the cramps that are caused by the rejection of your uterus lining. Not only that, having an orgasm actually releases endorphins which are your natural “happy juice” making you feel content, happy, relaxed, and good about yourself. Having a good, satisfying orgasm with someone you like is the perfect way to make yourself feel a little lighter and happier and less stressed and anxious. It’s also good because it works as an analgesic rather than an anaesthetic meaning it relives pain without taking away sensation, which is basically what you want when it comes to sex.

Feel Good

So, as well as all those feel-good hormones going through you, the very act of bleeding is also one that can make you feel good. I know, sounds fake, but let me elaborate… You know how sex and stuff always feels better when you’re super aroused and your vagina is well lubricated? Well it literally doesn’t matter if the wet is natural lubrication, store-bought, or blood. The slippery, slidey feeling of being wet down there can be one of extreme pleasure, not to mention the fact that when your uterus is engorged with blood it can add pressure to the nerves in your pelvic region, which can, in turn, make the brain think that area is being touched and stimulated and react accordingly. So basically your pelvis tells your brain that there’s “activity going on down in them there parts” and the rest of you decides it wants in on the action too!

Bonding

One of the things that sex can do is help us bond intimately with other people. It allows us to create connections and chemistry and extenuate feelings of trust and companionship. Having sex with someone while you’re on your period can be a pretty good extension of that, just for the very nature of it being sex on your period. See, for the most part, we are hard-wired to think of periods as gross. As dirty. As something a bit icky and untouchable… So when we find that person who doesn’t give two craps about those sorts of out-dated inferences, or the mess it can make, and just wants to be with us in an intimate way… Well, added to the hormone and endorphin rushes sex can bring, the added trust and connection that comes from sharing something often seen as “taboo” can really help strengthen the bonds of love, friendship, and commitment to others.

Safety Risks

Having sex on your period is no more safe or unsafe than having sex any other time of the month. There is no increase in the risk of STIs and other infections (yes even with STIs such as HIV), just as there is also no decrease in the possibility of getting pregnant. Sperm can live in your vagina for around five days (even while blood is coming out) so don’t go thinking you’re invincible from pregnancy just because you’re bleeding. Using safe sex practices is important no matter where in your cycle you are, as is the importance of getting regularly tested and making sure your sexual partners do as well. Always use condoms and always make sure your STI checks are up to date. Thrush is one issue that can be exacerbated during your period as the vaginal pH balance can be a little off in that time, but sex itself is not cause nor will it exacerbate existing conditions. Basically the only difference between having sex on your period and having sex when you’re not on your period is the presence of blood. 

What About The Mess?

Ah the blood. Yeah I know. It can make everything look like a murder scene and totally ruin the sheets, but really, it’s not all that big a deal. Towels are a great accessory in preventing damage to your bedspread, as is doing it in the shower (be aware of all the health and safety risks of doing in the shower like slipperiness, glass and tiles, as well as the risk of getting water pushed up inside your vagina), but really if the main thing you’re worried about is a bit of staining then I suggest bi-carb or a good pre-wash stain remover, and your worries are over.

There are also certain products you can buy that can allow for mess-free period sex! Yep, you heard me, mess-free period sex. Sponges are probably the most common item used to stop blood emerging while you’re having sex on your period, and a few different brands of menstrual cups have also been designed to be worn during sex too.

All in all the main things to remember about having sex when you’re on your period are the same things you need to remember when you’re having sex any time; Always practice safe sex, always have informed and continual consent, always communicate, and always have fun and make sure the people you’re having sex with are having fun too.

Sure, period sex is not everyone’s cup of tea… But if it’s something you’re curious about, or haven’t tried because of those internalised taboos mentioned above, then now is the time to start re-educating yourself, understanding where those fears or misgivings are coming from, and start your way on your journey to a bloody good time.