Transform your love life with the ‘manfunnel’ dating method
Nicole Carrington-Sima
on 1 November 2019
43 comments
Single ladies and gents, what if I told you everything you knew about finding your perfect partner was a lie?
I hate to go all Morpheus, from The Matrix, on you, but there’s a new concept for women who are adult dating called the “manfunnel”, which might well change your partner-hunting approach in the digital age.
What’s more, it challenges some archaic, outdated gender notions which might be holding you back from enjoying a lot more fun, good company and orgasms – and who doesn’t want that?
What is a manfunnel?
No, it’s not some kind of deadly spider reference, although we’ve all dated partners with fatal flaws. A manfunnel is basically the idea that you should date several men at once (it can also apply to partners of any sex/gender identity) and not become quickly emotionally attached to just one and cancel out the others, as many women are want to do.
Hell, I made this mistake a LOT myself when I was on the dating scene – it was all too easy to just focus on one person at a time, worthy or not, because who had the time and energy for dating several different men at once?
In addition, growing up as a Gen-X, my brothers were encouraged to “play the field”. Me? Not so much. As in, not at all.
The manfunnel also turns the bullshit “good girl” sex/dating societal stereotype on its head – that women should only date one man at a time and sit around passively like fucking Cinderella, waiting for her prince to choose her.
Smart, strong and sexy singleton ladies of 2019 take action, I say.
The origins of the manfunnel
Women have Megan Weks, a NYC certified dating and relationship coach, author, and speaker to thank for the manfunnel concept. Megan says women must make the time to date several men at once to save their sanity, hearts and find a great loving partnership. Preach, sister!
When she found herself suddenly single at 35, Weks vowed to be married within a year, refusing to settle for someone unsuitable.
Weks became a self-described “dating machine”, thereby creating her signature “manfunnel” method – the act of attracting several men at once in your dating “funnel,” a common sales term. She says she started off by going on two to three dates per week.
“Even when I met someone I liked (and had second and third dates with people), I kept going on more dates so I could keep adding to my “manfunnel” she says.
“That way, if a guy ghosted or I decided I didn’t like him after all, I still had other options.
“In other words, I didn’t put all my eggs in one basket – and neither should you.”
Weks strived to keep at least three men in her manfunnel at all times, so she was always actively seeking more options.
“It was a challenge, but it made the process less personal and more fun – and most importantly, it saved me a lot of heartache,” she says.
The dating coach ended up seriously dating three men for three months and then slowly narrowed them down to her now-husband.
How to make the manfunnel work for you
So, what do you think? Personally, I love this sex/dating concept that frees women up to date several partners at once, ala men. Dating is hard work, as we all know – why shouldn’t women be free to explore all their choices until they find a winner?
Now, no one’s saying you should audition 20 or so men to win your affections, ala The Bachelorette, but keeping a cool head, not getting too emotionally invested in unworthy men and being open to all options are all great sex/relationships credos for 2019 if you ask me.
Weks also preaches the concept of “leaning back” to attract the type of partner you want. So, this means keeping a check on your emotions, ladies, in a healthy, detached kind of way and keeping busy and active working on your manfunnel – not wasting vital energy chasing after unworthy men and wondering why they haven’t reached out to you on a Friday night.
A guy’s perspective on the manfunnel
In Matthew Hussey’s book, Get the guy, this relationship expert explores similar territory. He talks about the “female propensity to select the most desirable male, which is in direct conflict with a man’s tendency to select the next female.”
Hussey says it’s not that men don’t want to “settle down”, but rather that their instinct is to better explore all their options.
“A woman’s instinct is to quickly discard men she doesn’t like and settle on the one guy she likes the most,” he shares in his book.
“Rather than concentrate on perhaps forcing a relationship with a single guy she still needs to get know better, she needs to spend more time with more guys before she narrows her focus.”
In addition, Hussey echoes Weks’ advice about women moving slowly and cautiously with multiple, prospective partners until they prove they’re relationship-worthy, which only serves to make them more attractive to men.
“He sees that she’s more discerning than to just rush into commitment with someone who hasn’t really gone out of his way for her yet. He now begins to work for her. And as we know, everyone values what they work for.”
Now, imagine the potential heartache, energy and time spent finding a great love we could have all spared ourselves, and our daughters, sisters and friends, with all the above great relationships advice?
A real-life successful “manfunneler”
One smart, strong, sassy and gorgeous singleton in her 40s who’s putting all this advice and more to the test is *Sarah* (name has been changed to protect the innocent), a divorcee of two teenage children who has embarked on a journey of self-discovery and sexual adventures since recently splitting from her cheating husband of 20 years.
“I’m still learning a lot about men and relationships,” she says, “and sharing all that information about the manfunnel concept with as many friends as I can.
“Until they show their worth, men are not relationship-worthy. Now, I’m all about taking my time when dating, leaning back, and looking at all my options.
“I really like the manfunnel concept and find it freeing.”
What do you think about the manfunnel sex/dating concept?
43 comments
Mischeviouslad
More than a month agoNot a new concept.... just a new name
ReplyBareNakedLady73
More than a month agoI've now experienced the flip side to this coin. Whilst making it perfectly clear that any 'encounter' would go nowhere romantically, on both occasions, the other player changed the goalposts of the friendship/relationship and after initial intimacy (not always including penetration) they have then gone on to make me feel like shit because I stuck to my guns.
ReplyThese 2 scenarios have definitely made me think twice about engaging in man funnelling. For me, the head fuck that is thrown in your face isn't worth it.
ispywithmy
More than a month agoFirstly, I don’t consider a women a slut because she has several guys on the go. She is entitled to have that life style, just as anyone else is.
ReplyHaving said that. On dating sites such as this- this works great, with ratios of 10:1, women are spoiled for choice and can easily be picky.
In the real world, it’s a little different.
And the phrase ‘dating’, is it a means to an end (find a soulmate), or is it more like ‘ I don’t want to sound trashy on public forums, so we’ll call it dating’.
MandyMaree2019
More than a month agoCould be one of the best articles that’s been posted on here :)
ReplyNomadicAddict
More than a month agoIts all about your sense of worth and how independent your emotional needs are. Some people can date several people at once and keep their emotions in check, while others don't have the same emotional regulation. Then of course everyone has their views on exclusivity, this is something that's earned with trust not given at the outset of a relationship as an expectation. Anyway we are all free to choose what we feel works for ourselves as long as no one is hurt, then live and let live.
ReplyMfenix
More than a month agoI like this idea, and would love to see it in practice (a documentary would be great with the female outlining her thoughts etc). I observe the men I work with and in life in general and do feel woman are settling.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoNot all of us are you can be assured of that :)
eviltwin
More than a month agoI suspect my problem is that I get weeded out well before the dating starts. i seem to meet one maybe two ladies a year from this and other dating sites all told. The opportunity to keep several on the boil has never arisen at any point in my life. Or maybe the 'funnel' method is only aimed at attractive people...
ReplySweetlike.
More than a month agoI can appreciate the concept but I think I would feel scattered and disingenuous.
ReplySweetKittenxoxo
More than a month agoI do this... but it can be awkward if a guy really likes you... wants to see just you... and you have to say no. I'd be interested to know how others handle this.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoI should have mentioned... it works REALLY well for me... makes the journey less of a rollercoaster... but I'm a romantic and won't be exclusive if its not a rel I can invest in.
Unmoderated
More than a month agoI wouldn't want to stay with a woman if I discovered she'd been fucking a bunch of other dudes while she was with me, especially if it had been going on for weeks, and if she communicated that intention early on - I'd pass... You may think you're "playing the field", but I guess you'd only end up with the despo guys who were happy with this.. arrangement.
Before all the triggered women reply and turn this into a gender thing: "oh it's ok for men then?" I think screwing around, one night stands etc (which women do anyway too), is a bit different to seriously dating multiple people for weeks.
Call me old-school, I guess I'm a one-on-one guy, or maybe I have more respect for women, but I wouldn't seriously date multiple women for weeks, even if they knew beforehand, to suddenly turn around one day and basically say "sorry, bye bye, I've settled with my match now, you didn't make the cut"...
As @SweetestSins said below, people get attached, and people get hurt.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoAmen to that.
Account Closed
More than a month agoMen do it all the time, he’s a stud. A woman does it she’s a whore. This thinking will never change but I for one think it’s ok.
MarkMyWords67
More than a month agoCall it what it really is. Nice fluffy words. Pfft! Bring out your inner slut. Go girls.
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ReplyAmyF2016
More than a month agoThat sounds like a double standard. Would you call a guy a slut for dating multiple women at once?
Account Closed
More than a month agoNo. They're called dogs. 8-)
Account Closed
More than a month agoWhoa :(
Vvverybusty
More than a month agoI think this works well for casual dating/sex. But if you’re looking for a serious relationship I think guys can sense your desperation. Suck them in and spit them out.
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ReplySexylawcurves
More than a month agoI think the whole point is not to be desperate to create a relationship. To take your time and make a choice. Desperation is not attractive on any scale.
Lipz66
More than a month agoI love that what I'm doing has a name. All my blokes know that i have other partners are are keen to remain involved because I'm very clear about my intentions and we are all consenting adults coming together for pure adult fun.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoGo sister!
DDdelite
More than a month agoThank you for bringing this to us Nicole, you rock girl. I've been doing this for almost two years now after my last boyfriend cheated on me, I just didn't know there was a name for it. I was so hurt that I realised I needed to take a stand. Because I took time to look inward and work out my worth and what I wanted for the next half of my life, I was better prepared to take on this type of dating. I'm seeing a few guys, peppered here and there with some guys that aren't what I'd ordinarily go for, and to my surprise.....I'm so freaking happy. I feel more valued and definately much more sexy than I ever have. Being only 2.5 years from turning 50 helps A LOT as well. I do as I please, I'm not hurting anyone as I'm open and honest, and I don't a crap what anyone thinks of me.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoTotally agree. Good for you. I'm doing the same.
Lipz66
More than a month agoWell done. Honesty is the key and that's why this works. Some guys even find it hot and wanna know details. Lol
Account Closed
More than a month agoLipz66 you're so right. My guys genuinely get turned on hearing about the details lol.
Ifuwannadome
More than a month agoVariety is the spice of life
ReplyIve dated heaps at the same time many years ago when i was as wild as
I just wanted to party
barkly48
More than a month agoAnd where does one find even one woman who is into "manfunnelling"..... It wouldn't worry me if she was dating others, so long as it was known by all parties...
ReplySeems to be another article primarily for 30sometings.... Wait for another 30 years and see how difficult it is ..
SweetestSins
More than a month agoIt’s all fun and games until they get clingy and catch a bad case of emotions. Next thing you know one of them is showing up at your work wanting to know why you didn’t reply to his 37 messages straight away or you run into another while on a date, before you know it you’re having the “it’s not me, it’s you” talk with 4 different people and it’s just... stressful.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoNot at all if you tell each person that you are seeing other people. Besides men think they can do it so why the hell can't women!
LipstickBelle
More than a month agoJust this week a man I’m not dating (at best some light petting) walked into my house unannounced with the expectation that I was available and willing to fuck him for his birthday...both the interloper and my Dom, who had me in his ‘embrace’ at the time, learned something about humans. They both intellectually knew their lesson, and for each man it was an utterly different experience. I cannot speak on their behalf except to say the gap between knowing and seeing can be an enlightening place
For me it was a just another Wednesday.
InsideVoice
More than a month agoThesis: Commodification of Human Emotion
Theme: "The dating coach ended up seriously dating three women for three months and then slowly narrowed them down to his now-wife."
Discuss.
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Replybarkly48
More than a month agoAhhh yes, it all changes now the tables are turned doesn't it... haha.
Hedotoday
More than a month agoYou can get away with it when your younger, changes as you get older.
But I did raise it up at work and out of the single guys there who were over 45 most said they’re not that interested in dating western woman any more and preferred to go to Thailand or the Phillipines. They know it’s a game and they can leave when they’re over it , go home and carry on.
But each to their own.
AugustusSeizer
More than a month agoGreat blog entry. For the mathematically inclined and curious, mathematician Hannah Fry gives a great and fun TED Talk on the mathematics of love and strategies that animals use (that includes us) to optimise mate selection. Seriously not just for geeks.
Replyhttps://www.ted.com/talks/hannah_fry_the_mathematics_of_love
Speaking personally, I like the idea that a woman has selected me from a "field of choices" rather than me being the only guy around with a pulse. If a woman chooses someone else in the "dating phase" that just means I've avoided heartache later on when she decides she's done. So bring on the "man funnel" and the "woman funnel" - more short-term fun and less long-term heartache.
KinkyGirl101
More than a month agoNot a new concept but with a new name and I love it! Like many female friends I was guilty in my younger days of investing far too much time in the one guy after a couple of dates. As long as you are communicating openly with everyone and practising safe sex then what's the harm? Dating, after all, is the process of getting to know someone. We're not talking about being in a relationship here or we'd be talking about swinging or poly. It's dating!!! Date one, date two, date ten. If the gods have decided you need to kiss x number of frogs before you find your perfect match (if that's what you want) at least you're getting through the duds quicker. lol
ReplyReal.Mountain.Man
More than a month agoSorry. I am something of a serial monogamous. I will date one lady at a time. If I find my date is actually dating other people at the same time.....well....that red glow she saw was my tail lights heading on down the road.
ReplyRosieAnne
More than a month agoWhere I live there is a man drought but a few younger guys are interested in the older ladies but they are not in the dating scene and neither are the older males because they are few and far between
ReplyHedotoday
More than a month agoGreat concept on a site like here, but in the real world I’m not so sure you’d be happy if “perfect” partner had the same concept and treated you as deposable based on a whim.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoAgreed.
**cosy**
More than a month agoAre they kidding most men are gun shy and its not easy getting one man much less multiples. Im over 50 and havent had a "date" since I became single. Most want the young ones or not into a relationship at all.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoI agree
Account Closed
More than a month agoCould possibly be your thinking or vibe that you're putting out. I and many women I know have no trouble. Just something to think about.