Evolving your Swinging Relationship


It’s an evolution in itself when a couple start swinging, I mean, you can’t swing successfully if you don’t have the right relationship foundations in place, and not all couples will ever dip their toes in the water, let-a-lone strip naked and join in. It requires a lot of honesty, trust, good communication skills, a sense of adventure and a thirst for sexy fun. It’s pretty safe to say that not all couples can tick every one of those off so kudos to you for getting this far!

When most people start into swinging it’s just to experience a threesome with one sex or the other, but then they start to get comfortable and realise there is more to experience than just a threesome. Getting through the first few experiences is the test and when most pass, their relationship evolves again and the boundaries change (I love it when the boundaries change!!).

This is the next phase and it’s a whole lot of fun. Once people have the strength in their relationship to cope with trying other new things, it’s time to start to participate in full swaps with couples, which seems to lead to private parties for more group play (orgies), and regular playmates.

When you start wanting to have playmates that are regulars in your life and not just in your bed, then you know you’ve evolved again because it’s not just about sex anymore. You start looking more for an extra connection which makes the sex part even more passionate and fun, because you also know how each other works and that makes a difference.

It’s in the swinging scene that many people evolve and explore their sexuality. They use the sites and parties to connect with people and experience a few things to see if they like it. It’s an evolution in itself when a person goes from completely straight to a level of bi-sexual and the relationship generally evolves again to grow with it.

Now not all couples will engage in all of those things but I’ve found that couples whose relationship evolves through swinging, have the maturity to cope with all of that and then some. It seems to be a natural progression and proof that the relationship is evolving if they can do all of those things and have it bring them closer together, not rip them apart.

So then the question becomes, what’s next? What is the next evolution?

Well there are a number of ways a relationship can evolve from here. One is that some couples move into an “open relationship” which is when they allow each other to have girlfriends or boyfriends outside the partnership. Some couples have more than one each but it works because they spend time with the girl/boy friends when they aren’t together. This is also why it’s classed as an open relationship; they are individual relationships enjoyed outside the original partnership, not shared with the original partner.

Another evolution is adding another person to the relationship itself so that it becomes a triad, or polygamous relationships (also known as polyamorous and means 3 or more in a committed relationship). This takes love and commitment to a whole other level. I’ve met a number of couples who started out swinging and who now have 3 or more in their relationship. They live together and operate as if they are all married. They share each other and enjoy sex either together or just 2 of them.

This can get even more complicated when you have a triad who swing and also have other boyfriends and girlfriends outside the relationship. There is honestly no limit to how many people can be involved in one way or another. There are couples that fall in love with couples and become a poly foursome, with kids and all, and while it’s hard for some traditional people to comprehend or accept, it does happen and it can work wonderfully well.

We’ve experienced many things and evolved to a point now where we’re looking for quality playmates that we really like; people we can be good friends with and enjoy their company outside the bedroom. If we find someone that we really click with then we’re open to where that takes us, either into an open relationship or heading down the track of becoming a triad or more…

Now not all couples will evolve to be able to swing, even less will evolve to open and probably even less again will evolve into a poly relationship, but if you think about it, it really is the ultimate evolution when you can have the capacity to love, and be loving, to more than one person at a time…

Here’s to your relationship evolution!


  • NaughtyKnave Photo
    More than a month ago

    Thanks for this article. We believe too that love is not a zero sum game. We don’t love our first child any less because we had another. There is even more love to go around. The same can be true for additional adult relationships, we hope ??

  • ronandbev
    More than a month ago

    well as you know we are over 70 and have been swinging for 30 years or more and have a open relation ship bev has a couple of play mates she meet with several times a week and i see a very nice women may be once or twice a week and we are very much in love with each other and both enjoy watching each other play with other people and it gets better all the time so as long as your partner is enjoying them self every body is happy life is to short
    Ron and Bev

  • friskypuz Photo
    More than a month ago

    And then there are couples who get into the swing so much they forget about their own relationship and end up with no one..

    • logical01 Photo
      More than a month ago

      Then I guess they didn't have a relationship from the start..

  • logical01 Photo
    More than a month ago

    Softcpl, I just read the same article, and for the life of me can't workout how you got your opinion from it. I believe it was put as a possible line, not a set travel. Different strokes for different folks. Every one picks their own course and level, maybe you should be more open minded, and understand not all do as you do so tolerance and acceptance of other views...just a thought.

  • Leolady727
    More than a month ago

    My 2nd husband and I had a great swinging relationship. We got into "the lifestyle" soon after we met, as we were both coming out of bad relationships (in my case, totally sexless). I wanted to experience being with another woman and he was more than happy to help out. Over 20+ years of being together we had some fun times, some hilarious times and some weird times.

  • Account closed
    More than a month ago

    You make it sound like every couple turn to full swap.
    We have evolved alot but would never fuck others as you put it.
    But its only your opinion which is not totally correct.
    You are classified as an expert,really ?????

    • ChantelleAustin Photo
      More than a month ago

      I'm sorry if you read it that way. Throughout the article I've used the phrases "not all couples" and "some couples" as this was just showing examples of how "some couples" will evolve their relationship. There's absolutely nothing wrong with staying at your relationship's comfort zone at any point in your swinging evolution. Viva la (r)evolution!

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