What exactly is Rimming?

Q: The other night my boyfriend and I were playing and he was going down on me and he started licking at my ass hole and it kind of freaked me out. We’ve never done any anal or anything and it was so weird. He thought it was funny that I was a bit grossed out and said that everyone does it and it’s really sexy. Is it really something people do? Should I let him? What if he wants me to do it to him? I do admit that later when I was thinking about it I got a little turned on, and now I don’t know what to think.

A. Okay, so the first thing I want to say is 100% no you do not have to do anything you don’t want to or that makes you uncomfortable. No matter how “normal” or not it is. Secondly, I’m sorry that your partner made you feel like you were abnormal for not liking it or being confronted by it, that’s definitely not what you needed, especially at a moment you’re feeling extra vulnerable. Thirdly the whole “everyone does it” argument is completely moot, because a) no, not everyone does it and b) it’s completely irrelevant to your personal feelings.

The thing about sexual play is that it’s up to the individual what they want to do or not do. The minute your partner is uncomfortable or unsure it is time to stop. That doesn’t mean the act cannot be discussed or talked about between you and perhaps revisited later, but that for that specific moment, it is not okay, and it’s time to stop.

So let’s talk about rimming

That’s the “sex term” for what he was doing, the act of licking and orally pleasuring the anal entrance. While no, not everyone does it, it is definitely an act that is becoming more popular, or at least more talked about and more accepted in wider social groups other than just the “porn set”. 

So why do people do it?

Main answer, it can feel really great! The entrance to your anal passage is littered with nerve endings and sensitive areas and, when touched in the right way, can illicit incredible feelings similar to other enjoyable oral sensations. It also, similar to anal sex, has that “taboo” connected to it so it can bring some of those “bad boy/girl” fantasies to life.

Getting prepared

While you don’t necessarily need to do the full on douching routine that a lot of people do before anal sex, it’s definitely important for both hygiene and peace of mind that the area is freshly cleaned and groomed. By groomed I mean it can be a good idea to trim, shave or wax your butt-hole cos no-one likes hair in their teeth!

Another good thing to use is a yummy flavoured lube. This can help two-fold. One it makes the area nice and sweet to the taste, because regardless of how clean someone is, psychologically the area can still be off-putting for some, and secondly it helps lubricate the area in case you decide you’d like a little finger or toy penetration at the same time.

How to play

Play and lick and tease the area with your tongue. Go around the outside a lot and tease the entrance. Use your fingertips to squeeze the buttocks or trace trails around where your tongue has been. Even trail them between their legs to their genitals and tease along there too.

Listen to their sounds and watch their movements and use them as a guide for where they like the sensation the best. Anal toys and plugs can be a great addition to your playtime too and can also help ease your body into more penetrative anal play.

Safety First

Like any sexual play there is always a risk to your health so it’s important to be mindful of this. Dams are a really great way to have your butt-hole and eat it too (see what I did there?) which can really ease your mind over both the STI risk as well as the other fears about hygiene and taste that can arise with rimming. If you can’t find a dam (a square piece of thin latex often available at sexual health clinics) then you can always cut a condom down the side and stretch it out.

The main thing to remember is consent is key, and it’s always okay to stop what you’re doing and reassess what you want.

Be open and honest with your partner about how you feel about it and do a bunch of research on it together so you’re both on the same page and level of understanding about what you want or don’t want. 

My final comment is looking at your last comment. The fact that the thought is starting to turn you on is a great sign that you’re maybe ready to try something new, and see where it takes you. That’s awesome! There is absolutely nothing wrong with stepping out of your comfort zone to experiment with something new, especially with a trusted partner, just remember only yes means yes, and it’s your prerogative to stop whenever you need.

11 Comments

  • jaycee51
    More than a month ago

    I was introduced to rimming by a woman. She brought some ice cubes, used them to rub over my cock and balls, then inserted one in the anal passage. Next thing I know she lifted my butt cheeks up and proceeded to rim me. What an experience, totally unexpected and very sexual. Needless to say the sex was great afterwards. Since then I have used this technique with other women and the response has always been orgasmic. I still remember this woman, even after more than twenty years, she introduced me to my wild and kinky side and my life has never been the same since.

  • PleasureHigh Photo
    PleasureHigh
    More than a month ago

    I remember a girlfriend sometime ago.
    I was licking her pussy from behind and then i started rimming her. She moved her butt around so I kept going for a while. After we had both been spent I said how much I liked rimming her butt.
    She said didn't like it.
    I said oh but you moved around and pushed your butt onto my face.
    She said she was just getting comfortable.
    I laughed my arse off.
    I still rim tho.
    Speak up if you don't like something.
    Still makes me chuckle till this day.
    Many women seem to like receiving it and not giving it. Just my observation.

  • nudge1955
    More than a month ago

    I had a partner that didn't rim but when we were in certain positions she would gently rub the entrance to my back passage. This aroused me so much I had intense orgasms but if she started to insert her finger too far it turned me off. Took a while to build up to having a finger inserted part of the way but she knew how to pleasure me. Those were great days.

  • SouthAusBiCPL Photo
    SouthAusBiCPL
    More than a month ago

    When my girl rims me it is amazing, best feeling ever, my fav is her licking from hole to balls,

  • FriendlyGuy1965
    More than a month ago

    Yes, a very clean waxed /shaved anal hole is very important but also can be very sensually arousing. Like it was mentioned in the article a woman (or men - am not judging haha) does not necessarily need to be penetrated to enjoy anal play. I would love to give a woman a slow warm oil body massage first to get us both aroused before i go down on her which may include rimming if she accepts it. Enjoy your day....

  • Ismymuffenuff
    More than a month ago

    This is a thing I have only more recently discovered, and it is quite an exquisite feeling.

  • friskypuz Photo
    friskypuz
    More than a month ago

    Prefer a nice rimming than full anal penetration, but again its not something that I do with just anyone.

    • countrylad2697 Photo
      countrylad2697
      More than a month ago

      With a friskypuz you don't need to do anal ......
      Enjoy what YOU like ....

  • Kinky14U2Use Photo
    Kinky14U2Use
    More than a month ago

    Nothing hotter than rimming your partner. Such a pleasurable thing to do, both giving and receiving.

  • Zamboon Photo
    Zamboon
    More than a month ago

    Love it - doing it and receiving it.
    I first had it done to me by a 45 yr old lady when I was all of 23 - I was shocked at first but loved it and was embarrassed when I came just from her rimming me - that put paid to me for a good half hour but I redeemed myself after that ...
    Said lady taught me well - and I had her squirming after a 25 minute rimming and play till she was begging for me to mount her .
    My only stipulation these days is we need to shower together first - and hair is off putting...

  • bimale59
    More than a month ago

    I find rimming is such a turn on, the sensations that you feel can be awsome.. Its also very pleasurable to see and feel your partner being turned on when rimming them also.

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