Article originally posted on The Love Life Blog
I've been doing a lot of media interviews lately where the topic of erotic literature comes up, due to the current success of Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm asked whether it's good for people's sex lives.
Turn Yourself On
Erotica is sexy, so reading it is a good way to get in the mood for sex. Whether you read it leading up to a delightful session of solo play, or perhaps in the bath before meeting your partner in your boudoir for some partnered love-making, it’s an excellent way to start warming yourself up.
Know Your Eroticism
What turns you on is a personal thing, we all like different things and there are no should or shouldn’ts when it comes to what you like (as long as it’s between consenting living adult humans). By reading erotica, especially short stories, you can discover what elements of eroticism do it for you. Some stories you’ll read and think: “Oh yes, I like that!” so you might want to explore that eroticism; others will be: “Oh no, that leaves me cold/turns me off” so you know you’re not interested in exploring that eroticism; and some will be: “Ooh, I’m not sure if I like that or not…” in which case it could be worth exploring, if you’re brave enough!
Spice Up Your Sex Play
Reading erotica aloud to each other is very sexy and can be part of your beforeplay - or turn it into a game where you try to distract the reader, as part of your foreplay…
More importantly, reading erotica alone or together will give you insights into what you and your partner like. Then you can experiment with adding elements to your own sex play. The stories might be more extreme than you necessarily would be comfortable with, so ask yourself how you could add milder elements to your own life. If, for example, you liked the voyeuristic elements of a story about a couple being watched while they have sex, perhaps you could have sex by an open window or on a balcony. If a story about bondage turns you on, you can always play with stockings and scarves from your own cupboard for a less scary experience, or purchase feathered handcuffs or silken rope for a sensual bondage experience.
You could explore this further by writing some erotica together: you write a paragraph, then your partner writes the next, then you the next, and so on… See what interesting places that takes you to!
There’s plenty of very good erotica around these days. Good book stores have an erotica section.
Just on the topic of erotica, I pen a pretty good story myself, and am putting the finishing touches to my next book on Female Sexual Archetypes. It contains 44 erotic vignettes to illustrate the concepts, and will be the world’s first book in the brand new genre of Therapeutic Erotica. I’m very excited about this!
That’ll be a fourth reason to read erotica!