Top tips for Hosting a Swingers Play Party


While many people go to clubs and events to meet potential partners and enjoy the venues for what they have to offer, others entertain or host at home. What’s not immediately clear is who is responsible for moving things forward into playing and what’s the basic etiquette since it’s no ordinary dinner party?

The short answer is you! In order for things to go smoothly and to get where you want it all to go, you need to be the driver. You are also responsible for making sure the guests know what’s expected and have everything they need for an enjoyable night. It’s really quite simple but even I have missed things or not taken my hostess responsibility on board and the night has dragged on, not getting to the play part as soon as it could have. This is particularly common with people who are new to the scene and hosting at their place.

Ok so here is it, my top tips with everything you need to know in order to be the hostess with the mostest!

  • Tell your guests what time to arrive and what to bring (ie: their own toys and drinks), that way you don’t have to run the risk of not having a toy or drink that they enjoy, and since alcohol is a great way for most people to chill out in a new situation, them bringing it increases the chances of them relaxing and having a great night.
  • Tell them what to wear. If you are planning to dress in something sexy or smart casual, then let them know. At least then you won’t make anyone feel uncomfortable as it can feel a little odd turning up to someone’s house dressed in sexy clothes and being greeted by hosts in dinner suits.
  • Let them know if there is a bed/room they can stay in if they choose to stay. That way there is no confusion at the end of the play if they have to pack up and go home or not. This is a particularly good to offer if your guests have to travel longer than 15 minutes to get to you, because driving after alcohol and hours of physical activity (even of the enjoyable kind) can make people more susceptible to falling asleep at the wheel. Make an assessment at the end of the night and insist they stay if you feel they have a higher chance of being in an accident. This is being a responsible host/ess.
  • Find out if they have any food allergies so major dislikes so that you don’t provide or cook something that will make them ill. A trip to Emergency is not sexy.
  • Aim to have dinner within 2 hours of their arrival depending on what time they arrive, and provide some nibblies so that they don’t starve or drink on an empty stomach while waiting for dinner. If they have arrived after dinner, also provide nibblies, and have a small supply for later in the night when you take a break and need sustenance.
  • This is your house and you set the tone of what’s acceptable and what’s not. If you want everyone to flirt, you need to be the ones that start it so that your guests know it’s ok. Start slow so you don’t scare them and watch for their reactions to guide you; if they flinch or move away, it’s clear they aren’t ready for that, if they respond and flirt back, green light!
  • During conversation find out what their boundaries are for the evening, so that you know what they are comfortable with and then share what yours are too. Oh and the usual etiquette applies here, steer clear of talking about religion and politics, apart from them being potentially highly volatile topics, they can also be quite boring and you don’t want to make your playmates mad or put them to sleep too early.
  • Make sure that you have provided enough tissues, condoms and lubricant for everyone and multiple rounds, you don’t want to have to cut play short because you’ve run out of condoms. They may bring their own but don’t assume they will.
  • It’s up to you to move things from conversation to play, they are in your domain and will be looking to YOU to lead the way. The best way to do that is to finish dinner/eating, converse for a little while (no longer than an hour or two) and then suggest a game or some sort of ice-breaker (there is a whole list of them in The Essential Guide for Adventurous Couples). Suggest 2 or 3 and let your guests choose what they would like to try. Make it something that gets everyone naked and even make a point for one of you to get naked first so they can feel more comfortable not being the first (although my husband is often the first naked no matter where we are lol).
  • Make sure the designated play area is clean, as well as the bathroom and toilet your guests will be using. There’s nothing worse than dirty toilets, smelly sheets and mouldy showers to kill the mood. Fresh sheets and cleanliness go a long way; trust me on this.

Now not everyone automatically knows this information before they host their own play night, so if you go to someone’s house and it’s clear they aren’t leading the night like they could, by all means step in and make suggestions because often everyone wants to get to play but no one is confident enough to make it happen! Above all else, relax and have fun no matter what the night eventuates into.

Don't forget you can list your swingers house parties in Adult Match Maker's Event Section


  • Sammylovesfun2
    More than a month ago

    Hi Chantelle can we purchase The Essential Guide for Adventurous Couples in a hard copy? I love my books :) Thanks for the article it was a very good read

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      More than a month ago

      It's only available as an eBook

  • sugarbuns Photo
    More than a month ago

    Great article! We host plenty of parties but not at home. We often use a friendly hotel with a suite or double room, meet in the bar for a few drinks or until people are comfortable and move upstairs to play. We also ask them to bring a bottle to share and any personal supplies.

    Once in the room we mostly show people around, and make the first move ... it seldom takes more than 10 minutes before everyone is naked and play is underway!

  • Zamboon Photo
    More than a month ago

    Agree with the etiquette and the games are usually a good icebreaker- nice clothing is a good start - ruggers tee shirts and thongs are not conducive to a good time even though you’re not going to be clothed for long , it’s good to dress up although the clothes should be easy to get out of and put on again . Our hostess at the last party I attended started with a card game, boys and girls seated alternately- 10 minutes into the game and she had 2 hands up her skirt and a little while later 2 girls had ducked under the table... the fun had started .... the other thing amazing to me was that it turned out to be an ordinary party in that in between sessions the conversations went from housing to banking to overseas travel - until you were interrupted by the hostess or one of her ladies in waiting who backed their bare bottom into you .... very primal ..

  • Account closed
    More than a month ago

    Agree about ice breakers or taking the lead.

  • Candygirl20 Photo
    More than a month ago

    Your article is spot on. Have hosted before and an ice breaker of fun sexy games was successful in getting things started. Reassuring newbies that there was no pressure to join in made them relax enough to join in later. Fun had by all. Giving massages to the men by the ladies was another ice breaker. The man loved the attention of so many women. Being blindfolded enhanced his experience. All consensual.

Copyright © 2020 Chantelle Austin It is illegal to use any or all of this article without the expressed, written permission from Adult Match Maker and the author. If you wish to use it you must publish the article in its entirety and include the original author, plus links, so that it is clear where the content originated. Failure to do so will result in legal action being taken.