10 Tips to Make Your First Swingers Party a "F*CK YEAH" Experience!

Strewn clothing

The first event is always the hardest because you don’t know what it’s going to be like, how you’re going to feel or even if you’ll have any fun. You’re not alone and everyone has a different experience but if you do these 10 things, then you’re stacking the odds in your favour of having a mind-blowing experience!

Dress to impress!

Know what looks good on you to accentuate your assets and minimise the parts you aren’t so excited about, and what underwear suits your shape. Wear the good stuff too, not just the everyday grundy undies (no really, don’t even wear those out of the house!)


I’m not saying bush is bad (it’s not my personal preference) however; the majority of people in the swinging lifestyle are generally bush free to varying degrees. Manicured to completely hair-free is most common with those people also preferring the same in their playmates, so tidy up or wax/shave/laser it all off.

Smell divine!

There have been studies done proving that smell impacts how attracted we are to others. Think of the last time you walked passed someone who had the most amazing perfume/cologne on that just made you want to spin them around, grab them and kiss them passionately or pin them against a wall… you know the ones… Now let that be you.

Have a “go with the flow!” attitude!

Let go of expectations of what should happen or be accomplished during the evening. You and your partner have each other so anything (or anyone) else you get to try/experience/enjoy is just bonus stuff! Sometimes the “balance” isn’t “fair” in that one partner may get more action than the other but keep in mind, being a voyeur is being part of the action and often on another night, the other partner is the one in the middle of it all instead. So put away your checks and balances, you’re there to have fun and to see how wild you can get with each other, with others or while watching it all play out!

Know your boundaries and agreements!

And part two is to stick to them! Nothing acts like a buzz kill more than when one person gets caught not sticking to their agreements and then it’s all drama, drama, drama which kills the mood for EVERYONE! Sticking with them builds trust and with trust comes more freedom, which you want, right?

Connect with your partner regularly

You want your partner to feel like your number one because if they feel good and safe (i.e. that you aren’t going to run off with someone else you have your eye and hands on), see the comment about trust above. More security, more freedom, and hell of a lot more fun!

Be selective!

Either pick events/clubs with a specific demographic or large attendance so that you are more likely to get that zing between your legs, OR if you are hosting your own, only invite people to your party that you could quite happily play with all… night… long…

Remember that the women are the ones who generally have the bulk of the power!

It’s pretty universal and it doesn’t mean that the men are just used for their equipment (although most wouldn’t mind if they were), it just tends to be the women who control the pace of the evening and who gets to do what. Help the women feel comfortable and things can get pretty wild, pretty quick.

Get involved!

Don’t just stand around staring and hoping that someone (or some couple) will come and pick you up. The ones that get the invites and action are the ones who are actively socialising, meeting, mingling and engaging with other people. Be the social butterflies, actively get to know people so they can get to know you, which will (ideally) lead to them spending numerous hours getting to know every inch of you.

Be adventurous!

Dare to let go and try new things, things you’ve perhaps never thought about or were too shy to try! This is the place where you can let loose and almost be someone else for a night. If you don’t usually make noise, pretend you’re a porn star (although try not to sound so fake that the whole club knows you’re putting it on – seen that before, it’s not cool), or try positions you’ve never done with someone before. Well, any position with more than two of you is likely to be new at this point!

This is a whole new playground for you both, with new people and toys (human or plastic) and a whole lot more stimulation for that imagination of yours. I promise, your sex life will never be the same and nor will you want it to be!

Adult Match Maker has Australia’s largest online listing of naughty couples & swingers parties in our Events section. Click through now and find a party near you to kick start your swinging adventures.


  • Sweetangelic3
    More than a month ago

    A swingers party is on my bucket list, but being shy when there is more people around makes it hard... walking into a playdate I find I am nervous till that first kiss or someone makes the first move.. Then I am not so bad.. Am hoping to tick off a few more things on my bucket list while here on AMM this time.. so if any of you ever see me at a party... please make the first move.... great article

  • 69madgray
    More than a month ago

    I love the group party scene & have made friends from these.
    I agree totally with being a social butterfly at the parties, it really is an ice breaker.
    So much so, quite a few times, newbies just there to see what it is about have joined in or asked to play & all evening have said just here to look.
    I am more cautious now though, as women can be nasty when they are nervous. I have always made sure when approaching newbies that I am covered & talk about anything else, which tends to ease their nerves & shows it not all about sex.

  • Upforit00069 Photo
    More than a month ago

    Great advice Chantelle agree 100%. We were kinda shy the first few Saints & Sinners we attended... then after about the 3rd one we cut loose and thought 'what the heck'.... soooo glad we did! Amazing how quick (with a more liberal attitude) you can find yourself in positions you'd only dreamt about :) .....Hubby & I had set boundaries and we stuck to them which made things even more enjoyable.

  • sexysuncoasters Photo
    More than a month ago

    Having hosted over 30 parties We don't agree that women have most of the power. if it's a couples only event both have the same input into the decision making, there should be no "doing it for the team". Talk to your partner before and during the event, and watch how much you drink. Too many drinks is where problems begin. Newbies like to have a few to get over the nerves but sometimes go too far. Select what you will drink and stick to it. maybe a few to start with then switch to a lower alcohol option.

    • 69madgray
      More than a month ago

      I agree, newbies do usually have a few before arriving & then go too far.
      My advice for them are, have a few beforehand, then not drink while you are there.

      I have one drink whilst I am there & then I have mineral water, which re-hydrates & I definitely need re-hydrating.

      It isn't fun being verbally & or physically attacked by someone because they couldn't handle their intake.

  • jindagirl
    More than a month ago

    Good advice Chantelle...but as in everything sexual great swinging is about the honesty. If folks are honest with themselves and everyone else involved...they'll have a ball. Keep on having fun everyone. xx

  • twofor4sums
    More than a month ago

    Good advice.... We have a signal that we use if we want to get away from the situation we're in if either of us isn't comfortable....

  • MrMrsG.Spot
    More than a month ago

    I can't believe this was sent to us today! We're on our way to our first swingers party tonight. Great tips xx

  • mmfbimale Photo
    More than a month ago

    Absolutely great read, and read it just in time, as me and my partner are going to our first swingers party in a few weeks.

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