Alcohol, Sex And You

Couple sitting on a bedroom floor, partially nude, clinking glasses of red wine

Alcohol and Sex. What a cocktail of fun and frivolity, and possible failure and fucked-upness - depending on how you mix it all together.

You see, when it comes to alcohol and sex, it really can be hit or miss, and while the hits can be incredible, those misses... Well, sometimes they can be life changing...

Just because alcohol is the world's most acceptable drug, it doesn't mean it's actually any good for you, or better for you than any other drugs, illegal or otherwise. While it's hard to get proper statistics (because statistics surrounding illegal drugs are often skewed or inaccurate or misleading) alcohol is known to cause far more problems in life (be they social, financial, medical, psychological, or other issues) than almost any other drug.

Of course this could have a lot to do with the ease and availability of alcohol compared to other illicit substances, but it is still a worrying statistic, especially when you think about how much accessibility there is to alcohol, and how many people use it.

Like other mind altering substances, when you drink alcohol, it enters your bloodstream and affects the central nervous system, and one of the first things that happens when you take drugs is that your inhibitions, boundaries, and other self protections start to lower.

This is the magic elixir that miraculously makes your dance moves groovier, your pool games on point, and your pick up skills next level... But it's also the same potion that has you dialling your ex at 3am, or deciding to go skinny dipping in the river, or thinking you're invincible as you mouth off to the bouncer. Alcohol really can be a hit and miss on all situations and sex is no different.

The Hits

A few drinks or shots can help you relax and feel more confident. Drawing upon your wit and intelligence to make you seem exotic and interesting to those around you. It can make your dance moves slinky and loose, and get you feeling super comfortable getting up close and personal with your dance partners. It can also enhance sensations and heighten feelings to make things feel even more pleasurable...  Which in turn can make your decision making skills slightly different than usual, and have you making choices you may not necessarily make if you were sober.

The Near Misses

When it comes to alcohol, most of us usually hover somewhere in the grey area between the amazing and the awful... In a sort of stumbling, mumbling state of drunkenness which has us dancing like superstars, while also tripping over our handbags, or drunk dialling an ex just to tell them we're glad we dumped them. It makes us clumsy and silly and pretty uncoordinated.

In fact, trying to have sex when you're drunk can have some pretty comical side effects. Falling over while trying to sexily take off your pants. Accidentally elbowing your partner in the face while changing positions. Misjudging your distance and tumbling off the bed... And let's not forget one of the most talked about drunken side effects... Hazy memories and vague recollections.

There's nothing quite like waking up in a strangers bed... Knowing you had fun but not quite sure if you used protection or not... Gathering scattered clothes from an unfamiliar floor... Finding a weird bruise you don't remember getting...  Nursing a headache in the back of an Uber, while texting your mates "omg wtf did I do last night!?" Vague and confused... But ultimately a positive overall feeling, if not a few little regrets, but nothing too damaging.

Can't Get Up or Off

While alcohol certainly does help lower your inhibitions and up your sensations, it also has the frustratingly equal yet opposite effect of not letting you achieve the pleasure you're looking for. You see, alcohol thins out your blood, and in doing so actually makes it harder to flow to the gential areas, which means for guys getting and staying hard can be a real problem, as can getting aroused and lubricated become a real issue for women. So while you might be as up for it as you're ever gonna be, your bits may have other ideas.

The Big Misses

Look I don't want to get all lecture-y and finger waggy at you, but alcohol really can fuck you up a lot more than many people realise, and sometimes it can take people down with you who should never have been involved in the first place.

It can make you angry and violent and lower your inhibitions so much you lose control and physically hurt someone. It can make you think you're okay to drive and then the next thing you know you're in intensive care and the police guard is telling you you've killed someone. It can get you so unwell it can literally poison you so you need your stomach pumped. It is a dangerous and life changing substance and needs to be treated with far more reverence then we give it.

When To Maybe Give It a Miss

While drinking and being a little tipsy can certainly make for a fun and sexy time, it can also mess with your head a little bit, making you do things you wouldn't normally do, and make choices you wouldn't normally make if you were in a clearer head space, and when it comes to consent - giving it or accepting it - being drunk can make the whole situation a little murky. 

If you are playing and drinking, it's super important to check in with your partner regularly and make sure everything's cool, and if they're too smashed to give a clear and enthusiastic "yes," then it's always "no" by default. If you're playing with a new partner all of this becomes even more important, and sometimes it might actually be better to just hang out and have a cuddle and pass out to a bad movie rather than the alternative.

Moderate Moderation

So yes, alcohol can certainly have some negative effects on sex and life in general, but as we know, it can also be a lot of fun.

As humans and as adults we are responsible for our own lives and the way we live them, and  also have the responsibility to look after, and be aware of, the other humans in our world. Having fun should never impact on another person's safety or comfort, and we should always be aware of our own personal limitations and boundaries.

Speak often and openly with your partners and playmates, and always drink responsibly and in moderation... And if you do happen to wake up with a strange tattoo, or a stranger in your bed, well, sometimes that's just the price you pay for a big night out.

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