Exploring CBT

Attractive woman in medical coat and glasses ready to answer sex related questions

Q: For a while now I’ve found the thought of CBT incredibly arousing, and more and more I want to try it. My wife is open to trying it, but is concerned she could give me some permanent damage and I don’t want to do anything that would give me an injury. Can you suggest some ways of introducing this to our sex life in a way that’s safe?

Like so much in the BDSM and kink worlds, CBT (Cock and Ball Torture) is a complex topic that covers an array of desires and relationship dynamics. As the name so strongly suggests, CBT is kink play that involves inflicting pain on and around the penis and testicles. Most people indulging in CBT have some prior kink experience – it’s rare to see people start their kink play with a spanking to the dick or a ball busting. CBT is about inflicting pain, not damage, so a trusted partner who is also considerate of the risks, and open to communicate is your only real ‘must-have’. 

Let's talk about safety first!

Let’s just get it out there – most kink play carries inherent risks, and they need to be assessed prior to initiating new play. 

The main injuries seen from CBT are:

  • penile or testicular ruptures from yanking or excessive tension
  • loss of blood flow from excessive constriction 
  • hematoma (deep, internal bleeding resulting in swelling and bruising) from blunt force trauma.
  • broken skin and cuts

These risks can be mitigated. 

  • when trying any kink activity for the first time, start small and go slow – build to where you want to be. 
  • ensure any toys and tools are relatively soft and flexible, and free of sharp edges
  • have a clear safeword, and USE it as soon as you need to – again, you can always build to where you want to be. Using your safeword does not mean ‘never again’ and is part of building trust between Top and bottom.
  • Go easy!

For beginner CBT encounters (as a Top or a bottom) we’ve put together some basics tips to get you started confidently exploring your limits.


This involves the application of pressure to the penis, and is one of the simplest ways to start testing your CBT limits. There is no ‘specialist’ knowledge required, and the only tool you need is your hand. Begin by incorporating some gentle, light squeezes into a general handjob routine, and keep communication and feedback going. Build the tension with both increased grip time and pressure, and that everyday handjob can become a kinky sexsperiment. You can also utilise cock rings, scarves, hosiery, and soft ropes into your constriction play. Adding an element of sensation play – blowing, stroking, light slapping – to the slightly strangled cock (and/or balls!) can add another layer of torturous fun.  


One of the safest ways to inflict impact to the genitals is via spanking. You can start the exploration with some light finger tapping, moving over the shaft, and glans, even tapping the testicles and perineum. As confidence builds, moves from taps to light slaps, always gauging your partners response before increasing any intensity. If using objects to inflict impact, start with flexible toys with a decent surface area – floggers, light belts, small, rubber paddles. Avoid any impact toys with hard or sharp edges. And don’t forget, the inner thighs and pubis are also great open spaces to lay a well-timed slap, and a bit more blood flow to the area certainly won’t hurt.

Wax Play

Wax is a wonderfully versatile way to explore CBT, and with the correct application it’s relatively safe. Always start by dripping the wax from high above the skin – at least a couple of metres – gradually decreasing the height until the required heat is reached. Wax is great for basic heat play, but can also be used in conjunction with ice cubes for some pretty intense temperature torture. And depending on whether the genitals were shaved or not, the removal of the wax can be a whole other ‘game’… Be sure the wax is safe for use on the skin – most unscented paraffin-based or soy candles are fine. Never use bees wax on the skin.

Quick Tip: Soy wax dries much softer than paraffin wax, and is easier to clean from hair. 


Also known as ‘restriction’, the form of play is used to create both a physical and psychological conundrum for the bottom. When starting out with CBT, some basic bondage is a great way to keep the bottom (receiver) in place, all laid out ready to explore. Just make sure any bindings are easy to release – velcro or quick-release cuffs, and/or scissors on hand if using fabrics. Bondage can be applied to both the cock and balls, using soft ropes or fabrics or PVC sex tape. With bondage, the real ‘torture’ comes with time, and if you find you enjoy it, there are many specialist products available for cock and ball bondage, including scrotum belts, testicular restraints, and weighted cock rings. And, of course, let’s not forget cock caging.

There is so much more to CBT, much of which requires specialist knowledge and the ability to wield medical instruments – there is no question some of the play is very edgy! If you can take your time, gain your confidence, and begin to find what truly works for you, there’s every chance your kink journey will take you where you need to be. 


  • tantrictim


    More than a month ago

    oops misread that article headline i thought some one in the Psychology world was very progressive and found a way to make CBT (cognitive behavioural Therapy) Relative to sex and sexuality but cock and ball torture was very interesting none the less

    • AMM.Editor


      More than a month ago

      haha tricked 'ya

      We do have an article coming up on personality types and how they affect your lockdown/pandemic response from our psych expert. I'll ask her if she can work out any links to sex and the "other" CBT for you.

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