In almost every article you read about hetero sex (including my own) there’s always a lot of emphasis on the sexual pleasure of women and how guys just having a penis really doesn’t cut it if they don’t know how to use the rest of their body as well.
While this is absolutely true, we don’t often get the same sort of information for women about guys.
There is this underlying (and damaging) idea that all guys really need for good sex is for you to touch their dick. I say damaging because it is. It is damaging in all the ways that upholding toxic masculinity is bad. This shitty idea that men are just mindless animals that want to “blow and go” and anything else, the emotional, sensual, connectivity part of sex is for “poofters” and “nancy boys”.
Men are every bit as sensual and deserving of time and thought put into their pleasure as women are so I decided to give you all a few tips on how to get those passionate fires burning, and those gorgeous bodies squirming… All without putting even a finger on his cock… And I can almost guarantee that it’ll end up turning you on as well.
Oh words! How good are they! Spoken, written, whispered, inferred. Sexy texts and messages when they’re not around are a fun little way to get them a little hot under the collar without you even having to be in the same room, and little whispers to them while they’re doing completely innocuous things can also be fun. Like, he’s washing up and standing at the sink… So you move in behind him and whisper something like “My pussy is nice and wet… Thought you’d like to know” and then walk away and go make a cup of tea or something. Sit nearby and sip your tea as you watch him… Cross and uncross your legs… Tell him he’s due for a reward. Trust me, by the time the dishes are done… He’ll be rock hard and itching to play.
Like with the texts. Sending sexy pictures to them is another way to get a man super aroused without using any sort of touch. Men are very visual creatures and love to see and watch and be shown how sexy and delicious you are. You don’t even need to send porn! Glimpses of your thighs with your skirt pulled up, a sneaky peek at the lace trim on your knickers. Cleavage, your mouth eating a strawberry, your hands just resting inside the top of your shorts… These little pictures are simple and non graphic, and yet will convey so much sexiness and horniness in them they’ll possibly use those images even more than the explicit ones for self-pleasuring activities.
OMG kissing is so good. Slow, sensual, lingering kisses. Hot, passionate, desperate kisses. Kisses down his neck. Kisses over his chest. Kisses on his thighs, his fingers, everywhere. There is something so wonderfully sexy about a good make-out sesh on the couch. Legs entangling. Hands through each others’ hair. Tongues dancing together in a seductive tango. Remember how it felt the first time you kissed someone and it made your fingertips tingle? Get back to that sweet innocence of desire and exploration. No genitals needed!
While yes, men definitely respond to visual stimulation a lot, it doesn’t mean all their other senses are dull or unimportant, and a blindfold is a really sexy way to get them in tune with all of them. Touching their body with your hands, or silk scarves, or a leather belt can stimulate the skin and the mind and the body in all sorts of ways they’ve never experiences. Feed them sweet fruit or chocolates. Whisper sexy nothings in their ear… Tease your way down their body… Touch everywhere but right there… The anticipation of every new touch or experience will have them squiring in the good ways and will also help them unlocking uncharted sensory stimulation they didn’t know existed!
Massage and Body Slides
Slippery oil drizzled carefully over his back… Your hands gliding over his skin as you rub the oil over his body… Both of you naked, slippery, smooth… Run some of that oil over your own body and then slide up his legs to his back. He’ll feel your soft breasts, your silky skin, your hands, your breath… But he’s not allowed to roll over. Not until you’re ready for him.
*Please remember oil is not condom compatible so make sure your body is oil free before using them, or use a good quality silicone lube for your massage oil instead.
Put On A Show
You don’t have to be a stripper or a burlesque dancer to turn taking your clothes off into a sexy affair. Sure, you might have to improvise a bit, as a not-dancer myself I have some hilarious stories about trying to do a strip tease, but that silly awkwardness can actually make the whole thing a whole lot more fun and relaxed, and laughter shared is, in my opinion, a great way to begin foreplay. Or, for a different kind of performance, show him how you play with yourself. Get out your sex toys if you use them. Tease yourself. Seduce yourself. Tell him how much you can’t wait for it to be him touching you. If you’re confident enough, why not combine it with the text/pictures idea and film or photograph yourself doing this when he’s not around and send it in a message…
However you play, fuck, tease, or seduce, remember that genitals are a very small part of the whole picture and the more you learn to embrace all the other things that make sex sexy and fun, the more interesting and evolved your sex life will become.