Swingers Glossary: Swinging Lifestyle Definitions

When you undertake a new venture, like swinging for the first time, it's important to understand the jargon before you dip your toes in the pool. So if you're a BBW Unicorn looking for BBC who can entertain, read our glossary and you'll be set to go.  

Some terms which are not covered here may be found in our Kink Glossary or Sexual Gender & Orientation blog posts. Some terms included are not necessarily swinger related but more sexuality focussed.

And if we've missed a term please comment on the post and we'll keep updating it.

ACDC: someone who enjoys sexual activity involving both the same sex and the opposite sex, ie. bisexual.

Air tight: all holes filled – vagina, anus, mouth. 

Backstage pass (BSP): giving another member on an online dating site access to your private gallery.

Bare back: intercourse without the use of a condom. 

BBC: big black cock. 

BBW: big beautiful women, typically used to describe plus sized women 

BHM: big handsome men, typically used to describe plus sized men 

BDSM: acronym commonly interpreted as Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and submission (D/s), and Sadism and Masochism (SM). BDSM is a single acronym that unites an array of lifestyles, fetishes and paraphilia.

Bicurious: Having a curiosity for having attraction to, or sexual experimentation with, the same gender or sex.

Biflexible: A person who isn't necessarily bisexual but has bisexual tendencies. 

Bukkake: several men ejaculating onto one woman. 

Bull: a man either single or part of a couple looking for casual sex with females. Men considered "bulls" are usually well endowed.

Can entertain: willing and able to invite sexual playmates or swinging couples to their home to party.

Can travel: people who are not constrained by distance and are able to travel for hook-ups.

Candaulism: sexual arousal from watching a partner have sex with, or engage in sexual activity with, another person.

Cheating: any activity, be it sexual or otherwise, that violates the agreements of that relationship or is done without a partner's consent or knowledge.

Clean : hygienic and free from sexually transmitted infections.

Clean up: going down on a partner after they've had sex. 

Closed door: couples who are comfortable playing in separate rooms without their partners being able to visually observe them. In a club environment it means that there are doors which can be closed for private play without interruption.

Closet swinger: someone who hides the fact that they are a swinger.

Cock blocked: interfering with another person's attempts to get laid. 

Compersion: excitement, pleasure and desire to see your partner having sex with someone else. The opposite of jealousy.

Consensual Non-consent (CNC): the giving over of consent to be violated for purposes of role-play. Commonly associated with ‘rape’ or ravishment fantasy.

Consent: informed and clear permission, given without manipulation or coercion. Consent can be retracted at any time.

Couple (C or CPL): for the purposes of swinging defined as a man and a woman (MF) either married, defacto, in a committed relationship or a single couple dating for swinging purposes.

Cuckold: a husband whose wife plays without him or who watches his wife play with others, or is forced to watch. 

Dildo: an artificial penis usually made of silicone or plastic.

Discreet / Discretion: this person is very private about their swinging activities and asks that you are too when contacting them.  

Dogging: having sex in a public area while others watch. The term originated in the UK and it usually involves people meeting in cars. 

Dominant: a sexual partner in control of a willing submissive partner. Often abbreviated to ‘Dom’ (masc), ‘Domme’ (fem), Dom/me (gender neutral) and ‘D’.

Double penetration (DP): usually refers to a female having two holes penetrated at the same time. 

Drama free: a couple whose relationship is free of jealousy.

Exhibitionist: someone who experiences sexual arousal or pleasure from displaying their body or having sex while other people watch. 

Family first: a lifestyle couple who have a family situation which makes it difficult to drop everything to meet. 

Fetish: an erotic or sexual fixation with a particular object or act. In some instances it is simply a turn-on, and in others it is a requirement for sexual gratification.

Fluid Bonded: a consensual agreement between (often monogamous) partners to share sexual secretions, cum etc by engaging in unprotected sex.

Friends with benefits: usually not just a sex only relationship but started from the basis of friendship or evolves into a friendship.

Fuckbuddy: people who fuck on a semi regular basis but are not in a relationship.

Full swap: a couple who is comfortable switching partners with another couple for full penetration.  

Gang bang: where a single girl is the centre of attention and having sex with multiple men (on the same night).

Generous: reference to exchanging money for sex. 

Group sex: what most non-swingers think swingers do every weekend. It is sexual activity between three or more people. 

Hardcore: where sexual activity is assumed.

Hard swing: a swingers party or encounter where sexual interaction is assumed and expected. 

Host: willing and able to invite sexual playmates or swinging couples to their home to party.

Hotwife (wife share): a married woman who takes male lovers outside the marriage often in the context of swinging or cuckoldry.

House party: a private group of swingers hosted at a private home. 

Indoor sports: slang terminology for swinging activities. 

Interested: seeking a swinging relationship which includes emotional and recreational values. 

Lifestyle: refers to the swinging community, can be substituted, ie a swinging couple may refer to themselves as a lifestyle couple. 

Mandingo: a man who prides himself on his sexual abilities, basically a dick for hire.

Meet & Greet: typically held at an off premises venue, it's a social event with no sexual activity and ideal for newbie couples.

Meet for pleasure: will meet for swinging sex with no social or emotional interaction.

Metamour: the partner of one's partner (in a poly relationship) who you don't share a direct sexual or loving relationship with. 

Monogamish: couples who actively seek out others in the swinging lifestyle but who don't typically swap for sex (but are not 100% monogamous). The term was coined by Dan Savage in 2011. 

Moresome: more than three people in a swinging interaction, ie. group sex.

Negotiation: the act of working out what the boundaries are. This can be short-term in the context of a play session, or long term regarding a relationship or contract.

Newbies: couples new to the swinging lifestyle.

No strings attached: sex without a desire for commitment or a relationship

Off premises: a swinging party / event for socialising and flirting but sexual activity must happen off premises. Please respect this rule as liquor licensing is very strict in some Australian states & territories in relation to sex on premises and the serving of alcohol which is why there are so few council approved swingers clubs in Australia (although we sponsor and promote the only licensed venue in NSW and the two licensed venues in QLD).

On premises: a swinging club / party / event which permits sex on site.

Open door / open couple: a couple who are happy to play in the same room as other swingers. In a club scenario an open door policy means that doors cannot be closed, ie. rooms are open for other couples to ask if they can join in or to watch.

Open marriage / open relationship: a marriage where the consensual arrangement permits one or both partners to have sexual relationships outside of the marriage, outside romantic relationships or both. So they may have girlfriends / boyfriends in addition to their primary partner.

Orgy: a group sex scenario with sexual interaction among several women and men in the same room with everyone taking part.

Pansexual: a person physically, sexually, emotionally and romantically attracted to people regardless of their gender or sexuality.   

Pegging: where a man is penetrated anally by a woman wearing a strap on.

Play: a term used in the swinging lifestyle for sex, ie. let's meet for drinks and play later.

Play party: a party hosted at a swingers club or private residence for the purpose of recreational sex. 

Playmate: someone (whether single or part of a couple) who you are comfortable playing with on a regular basis. 

Polyamory / polyamorous: similar to open relationships but much more committed to their multiple partners. Multiple partners may live together and be called a "pod" or a "triad". They are open to the idea of falling in love with other partners. 

Recreational swinger: someone who swings for recreational purposes and is not interested in forming long term friendships or emotional attachments. 

Roman (Roman culture): usually refers to group sex or an orgy.

Same room sex (SRS): a swinging couple who are comfortable swapping partners but only in the same room.

Seasoned swingers: a couple who have typically been in the lifestyle for some time and are comfortable about exchanging partners and party scenarios.

Separate room: a swinging couple who swap partners and are happy to be in separate rooms while having sex with that other partner.

Single: a swinger without a partner. Does not relate to marital status. 

Soft swing (soft swap): a couple who happily play with other couples for kissing, touching, perhaps oral or mutual masturbation or perhaps watch other couples have sex but only have full intercourse with each other. 

Spit roast: a sexual activity involving 3 people – 2 active, 1 passive – with simultaneous vaginal /anal penetration and oral penetration.

Squirting: female ejaculation. 

SSC: safe, sane & consensual.

Stag & Vixen: similar to the cuckold/hotwife relationship however the "stag" is different from the "cuckold" in that cuckold implies a submissive partner while the stag does not. The stag is a dominant or equal partner who enjoys sharing his partner with other men without being diminished by the act. 

Strap on: an artificial phallus, usually a dildo, attached to one partner via a strap or harness.

Stealthing: when a man removes a condom during sex without his partner's consent.

Submissive: passive partner who prefers to be dominated.

Swallowing: too complicated to explain in this post. Any ladies that are interested should contact the writer immediately.

Swapping: two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity.

Swinger: someone who enjoys participating in the swinging lifestyle whether that be soft swing or having sex with others with the full consent and knowledge of their partner. 

Swingers club: a premises, often council approved, used exclusively for regular swingers parties. In Australia the regulations vary in each state and territory but there are licensed clubs in NSW & QLD while most other states either hire venues, or residential properties to run "house" parties. The common element is that alcohol cannot be sold where there is penetration, ie. sex. Some gay saunas operate under different legislation (and some are licensed only for MM sex not MF sex).

Swinging: a lifestyle for consenting adults, usually a couple, who enjoy social, recreational sexual activities with others with the full consent and knowledge of both partners.

Swingle: a single who pairs up with someone of the opposite sex to attend swingers parties. 

Tantra: a form of sexual expression which emphasises spiritual connection and believes that sex is a sacred act. 

Threesome (MFM, FFM): three people, two of one sex, one of the other who have a sexual encounter.

Ticket: a person, usually a woman, brought to a swingers party or event solely to enable the male to gain entrance who generally has no intention of swinging.

Triad: three people, two of one sex and one of the other who are emotional and sexually involved in a relationship. Not the same as a threesome. 

Unicorn: used to describe a mythical creature - single woman in the swinging lifestyle. 

Utopian: someone who practices swinging as a total lifestyle.

Validation / Certified: the couple behind the online dating profile has had another member vouch for them to confirm they are genuine.

Vanilla: people who don't participate in the swinging lifestyle or clubs or parties which do not have a swinging focus.

Vanilla swirl: someone who is more sexually adventurous but doesn't fully participate in the swinging lifestyle although they are comfortable attending events and perhaps flirting.

Verified: means that the member/s provided identification (or in our instance a code) to confirm that the person/s behind the online dating profile are who they say they are.

Voyeurism / Voyeur: sexual arousal from the act of watching the sexual acts of others, eg. viewing porn, erotic photography or consensual public sex. 

Wife share / wife swap (hot wife): a married woman who takes male lovers outside the marriage often in the context of swinging or cuckoldry.

41 Comments

  • ciap2000 Photo
    ciap2000
    3 days ago

    Swallowing. On your glossary, can I ask why did you suggest women interested should contact you immediately?

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      AMM.Editor
      2 days ago

      It's a joke! Swallowing isn't actually a Swingers' term either.

  • Joy2us
    More than a month ago

    What is non-binary??

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      AMM.Editor
      More than a month ago

      It's explained in our Sexual Identity blog post (the link is in the second paragraph or use the "Search" feature and search for "binary" or "gender").

  • WillingWife3024 Photo
    WillingWife3024
    More than a month ago

    Please add Stag and Vixen, that lifestyle where the Hotwife goes out to play and often has sex with 1 or more guys to come home afterwards to her loving husband who then 'reclaims' her. A deeply loving and respectful bond of trust and honest communication between 2 besotted people. I love this lifestyle.

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      AMM.Editor
      More than a month ago

      Yes we've started to see this more and more on Twitter recently. I struggled to find a really good definition online which showed the subtle difference. Have a look at what we've put and see if it's your interpretation. Obviously we're not going into great details with each term.

  • 2totango15 Photo
    2totango15
    More than a month ago

    Candaulism: sexual arousal from watching a partner have sex with, or engage in sexual activity with, another person.
    Wow so thats what my kink is called. I'll have to use that in my profile hehe

  • _Sass_ Photo
    _Sass_
    More than a month ago

    lmao @ swallowing ... hahahahahaa!

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      AMM.Editor
      More than a month ago

      Finally!! We can't claim it, found it on a US site and had to steal for inclusion. Glad it made you smile. :-)

    • _Sass_ Photo
      _Sass_
      More than a month ago

      Super funny and had me genuinely laughing out loud! ;) ;) Love it xo

  • butterflykiss50 Photo
    butterflykiss50
    More than a month ago

    I am more than happy to be a Unicorn..x

  • Austphil
    More than a month ago

    The origin of the term dogging, is that people, mostly men would walk their dog in a area where people would commonly have outdoor, or car sex in the hope of stumbling across people in the act and either watch from the bushes or, hope to be invited to join in. The dog was a excuse to be there and not a peeping Tom.

  • chesswiseagain Photo
    chesswiseagain
    More than a month ago

    Tribbing is a very interesting word for two ladies... And very interesting to watch mmmmm.

    • KinkyGirl101 Photo
      KinkyGirl101
      More than a month ago

      Yes it's shown on porn a lot, men seem to think this is how most lesbians have sex.

    • chesswiseagain Photo
      chesswiseagain
      More than a month ago

      Of course I know it's not... A lot of loving goes on with the bodies of lesbians except doing that but I have been fortunate enough to see it happen with ladies now and again... ;-)

    • Leolady727 Photo
      Leolady727
      More than a month ago

      Speaking as a bi woman - I don't know ANY women who do this, except as a show for some pervy man.

    • chesswiseagain Photo
      chesswiseagain
      More than a month ago

      What's wrong with that? All enjoy ;-)

    • Austphil
      More than a month ago

      Funny to read some of these comments, I have been in relationships with 3 bi ladies and married to 2 of them, 2 of them had lived for years as lesbians, so i would say I have some insight into at least how 3 very bi ladies like to play. The bi girls I have been involved with along with well over 100 bi girls we have played with, do fuck like porn stars, couldn't care less about "loving" while they are playing with a girl for fun and definitely "don't do it to please men. My very sexy, very bisexaul, wife loves cock and pussy, when she meets another genuine bi, its full on, its like watching 2 starving people eat a pizza. At the same time when we meet up with a passive girl, who is not genuine bi,she loses interest very quickly.

    • Leolady727 Photo
      Leolady727
      More than a month ago

      I'm the same, Phil, but I bet they don't "trib" - waste of time, IMO

    • Austphil
      More than a month ago

      Yes you're right leo lady, I've seen my wife do it once, for a few seconds, the closest the girls ever get to it is when in a scissor position using a double ended dildo, which they always love and as a perve, so do I lol.
      Just off the subject, my wife's double ended dildo is 12 inches and when she uses it with another lady, there is always some in between, also when they use it on each other, one holding it, I've never seen more than about half used, just show given a choice most girls are more than happy with 6 inches or less :) oh and for those who think i am full of it check out some of our pics :)

    • Leolady727 Photo
      Leolady727
      More than a month ago

      I'm also a fan of the "double-ender" and agree with your comment.

    • chesswiseagain Photo
      chesswiseagain
      More than a month ago

      I did mention 'tribbing' would be a good word to explain. Others on here seem to think their likes are more important...

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      AMM.Editor
      More than a month ago

      When we create a blog post or a Help topic on sexual acts and terminology we'll be sure to include it.

    • chesswiseagain Photo
      chesswiseagain
      More than a month ago

      Thank you !!! :-)

    • Austphil
      More than a month ago

      "Others on here seem to think their likes are more important..." ? I would think if you post anything here all other members have a right to their opinion as well, I didn't see anyone claiming to be "more important" :)

  • spanishstroll
    More than a month ago

    Written by someone with only half a clue. The definition of "Mandingo" is ludicrous.

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      AMM.Editor
      More than a month ago

      Source: Swingers Dictionary on a US site,Urban Dictionary is less PC

    • Leolady727 Photo
      Leolady727
      More than a month ago

      Ahhh, there's always a "Mansplainer" :-). An interesting list - of course, not all "swingers" are into/interested in everything on here.

    • nudeinterlude Photo
      nudeinterlude
      More than a month ago

      I agree - a better list could easily have been put together.

      PS It's not mansplaining to have an opinion, or point out errors or shortfalls in a non-gender article. X

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      Regarding subsequent jibes and sources, I stand by my remark. The term is NEVER used without reference to race.
      "Mandingo" refers to black studs servicing white women. Most usually in a group/GB setting. Google "Mandingo parties" and see the whole phenomenon "mansplained". The term itself is taken from an infamous 1970s exploitation movie set in a 19th century Deep South slave plantation which featured non-stop big bull slaves and salivating white slavers' wives being ruthlessly pleasured at their own insistence.


    • Leolady727 Photo
      Leolady727
      More than a month ago

      Mandingo was a book long before it was a movie! Have to say that, in 20+ years in the lifestyle, I'd never heard the term till reading this article.

    • heavypetting
      More than a month ago

      Search it via Google images Leolady. If you haven't come across it in your experiences I'm guessing They've all been on the whiter shade of pale.

  • mrdiscrete2340
    More than a month ago

    Another very interesting article.
    It is amazing just how extensive the words used in this lifestyle are.
    Perhaps the words and their meanings could be displayed in a prominent position so to allow new members easy access and reference.

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      AMM.Editor
      More than a month ago

      I've suggested they be incorporated into a Help Topic

  • sensual15 Photo
    sensual15
    More than a month ago

    Thank you !
    Just out of interest,why isn't that term listed in your glossary ?
    We thought it's a pretty common term that would normally be included in such a list ?

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      AMM.Editor
      More than a month ago

      It's primarily a glossary of swingers terms and common abbreviations not a list of sexual acts. We have included a few but the list needs to be concise or it's too long to scroll through.

  • soilnriver Photo
    soilnriver
    More than a month ago

    How very interesting now know wat we are lol

  • sensual15 Photo
    sensual15
    More than a month ago

    We may naive,but would you please explain "creampie" ? Sorry for not knowing something we probably should ! Lol

    • AMM.Editor Photo
      AMM.Editor
      More than a month ago

      Google is your friend. Put creampie+urban dictionary as a search.

    • Austphil
      More than a month ago

      Hi cream pie refers to cum in a pussy, it use to be mostly used when referring to multiple men cumming in one lady, as the amount of cum resembled cream, but recently some people have been using it just to refer to cum in a pussy. Back in the 80s, 90s, if a lady wanted a "cream pie" she wanted a gang bang with out condoms.

  • Gold.Coast.Dude
    More than a month ago

    Lets just work our way through the alphabet shall we. Lol

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