When you undertake a new venture, like swinging for the first time, it's important to understand the jargon before you dip your toes in the pool. So if you're a BBW Unicorn looking for BBC who can entertain, read our glossary and you'll be set to go.
And if we've missed a term please comment on the post and we'll keep updating it.
ACDC: someone who enjoys sexual activity involving both the same sex and the opposite sex, ie. bisexual.
Air tight: all holes filled – vagina, anus, mouth.
Backstage pass (BSP): giving another member on an online dating site access to your private gallery.
Bare back: intercourse without the use of a condom.
BBC: big black cock.
BBW: big beautiful women, typically used to describe plus sized women
BHM: big handsome men, typically used to describe plus sized men
BDSM: acronym commonly interpreted as Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and submission (D/s), and Sadism and Masochism (SM). BDSM is a single acronym that unites an array of lifestyles, fetishes and paraphilia.
Bicurious: Having a curiosity for having attraction to, or sexual experimentation with, the same gender or sex.
Biflexible: A person who isn't necessarily bisexual but has bisexual tendencies.
Bukkake: several men ejaculating onto one woman.
Bull: a man either single or part of a couple looking for casual sex with females. Men considered "bulls" are usually well endowed.
Can entertain: willing and able to invite sexual playmates or swinging couples to their home to party.
Can travel: people who are not constrained by distance and are able to travel for hook-ups.
Candaulism: sexual arousal from watching a partner have sex with, or engage in sexual activity with, another person.
Cheating: any activity, be it sexual or otherwise, that violates the agreements of that relationship or is done without a partner's consent or knowledge.
Clean : hygienic and free from sexually transmitted infections.
Clean up: going down on a partner after they've had sex.
Closed door: couples who are comfortable playing in separate rooms without their partners being able to visually observe them. In a club environment it means that there are doors which can be closed for private play without interruption.
Closet swinger: someone who hides the fact that they are a swinger.
Cock blocked: interfering with another person's attempts to get laid.
Compersion: excitement, pleasure and desire to see your partner having sex with someone else. The opposite of jealousy.
Consensual Non-consent (CNC): the giving over of consent to be violated for purposes of role-play. Commonly associated with ‘rape’ or ravishment fantasy.
Consent: informed and clear permission, given without manipulation or coercion. Consent can be retracted at any time.
Couple (C or CPL): for the purposes of swinging defined as a man and a woman (MF) either married, defacto, in a committed relationship or a single couple dating for swinging purposes.
Cuckold: a husband whose wife plays without him or who watches his wife play with others, or is forced to watch.
Dildo: an artificial penis usually made of silicone or plastic.
Discreet / Discretion: this person is very private about their swinging activities and asks that you are too when contacting them.
Dogging: having sex in a public area while others watch. The term originated in the UK and it usually involves people meeting in cars.
Dominant: a sexual partner in control of a willing submissive partner. Often abbreviated to ‘Dom’ (masc), ‘Domme’ (fem), Dom/me (gender neutral) and ‘D’.
Double penetration (DP): usually refers to a female having two holes penetrated at the same time.
Drama free: a couple whose relationship is free of jealousy.
Exhibitionist: someone who experiences sexual arousal or pleasure from displaying their body or having sex while other people watch.
Family first: a lifestyle couple who have a family situation which makes it difficult to drop everything to meet.
Fetish: an erotic or sexual fixation with a particular object or act. In some instances it is simply a turn-on, and in others it is a requirement for sexual gratification.
Fluid Bonded: a consensual agreement between (often monogamous) partners to share sexual secretions, cum etc by engaging in unprotected sex.
Friends with benefits: usually not just a sex only relationship but started from the basis of friendship or evolves into a friendship.
Fuckbuddy: people who fuck on a semi regular basis but are not in a relationship.
Full swap: a couple who is comfortable switching partners with another couple for full penetration.
Gang bang: where a single girl is the centre of attention and having sex with multiple men (on the same night).
Generous: reference to exchanging money for sex.
Group sex: what most non-swingers think swingers do every weekend. It is sexual activity between three or more people.
Hardcore: where sexual activity is assumed.
Hard swing: a swingers party or encounter where sexual interaction is assumed and expected.
Host: willing and able to invite sexual playmates or swinging couples to their home to party.
Hotwife (wife share): a married woman who takes male lovers outside the marriage often in the context of swinging or cuckoldry.
House party: a private group of swingers hosted at a private home.
Indoor sports: slang terminology for swinging activities.
Interested: seeking a swinging relationship which includes emotional and recreational values.
Lifestyle: refers to the swinging community, can be substituted, ie a swinging couple may refer to themselves as a lifestyle couple.
Mandingo: a man who prides himself on his sexual abilities, basically a dick for hire.
Meet & Greet: typically held at an off premises venue, it's a social event with no sexual activity and ideal for newbie couples.
Meet for pleasure: will meet for swinging sex with no social or emotional interaction.
Metamour: the partner of one's partner (in a poly relationship) who you don't share a direct sexual or loving relationship with.
Monogamish: couples who actively seek out others in the swinging lifestyle but who don't typically swap for sex (but are not 100% monogamous). The term was coined by Dan Savage in 2011.
Moresome: more than three people in a swinging interaction, ie. group sex.
Negotiation: the act of working out what the boundaries are. This can be short-term in the context of a play session, or long term regarding a relationship or contract.
Newbies: couples new to the swinging lifestyle.
No strings attached: sex without a desire for commitment or a relationship
Off premises: a swinging party / event for socialising and flirting but sexual activity must happen off premises. Please respect this rule as liquor licensing is very strict in some Australian states & territories in relation to sex on premises and the serving of alcohol which is why there are so few council approved swingers clubs in Australia (although we sponsor and promote the only licensed venue in NSW and the two licensed venues in QLD).
On premises: a swinging club / party / event which permits sex on site.
Open door / open couple: a couple who are happy to play in the same room as other swingers. In a club scenario an open door policy means that doors cannot be closed, ie. rooms are open for other couples to ask if they can join in or to watch.
Open marriage / open relationship: a marriage where the consensual arrangement permits one or both partners to have sexual relationships outside of the marriage, outside romantic relationships or both. So they may have girlfriends / boyfriends in addition to their primary partner.
Orgy: a group sex scenario with sexual interaction among several women and men in the same room with everyone taking part.
Pansexual: a person physically, sexually, emotionally and romantically attracted to people regardless of their gender or sexuality.
Pegging: where a man is penetrated anally by a woman wearing a strap on.
Play: a term used in the swinging lifestyle for sex, ie. let's meet for drinks and play later.
Play party: a party hosted at a swingers club or private residence for the purpose of recreational sex.
Playmate: someone (whether single or part of a couple) who you are comfortable playing with on a regular basis.
Polyamory / polyamorous: similar to open relationships but much more committed to their multiple partners. Multiple partners may live together and be called a "pod" or a "triad". They are open to the idea of falling in love with other partners.
Queen of Spades: Among mostly white females in the hotwife lifestyle there is a growing subculture using this term if they are looking primarily for BBC. Tattoos of the symbol with a letter Q on it signifies they are looking exclusively for sex with black men.
Recreational swinger: someone who swings for recreational purposes and is not interested in forming long term friendships or emotional attachments.
Roman (Roman culture): usually refers to group sex or an orgy.
Same room sex (SRS): a swinging couple who are comfortable swapping partners but only in the same room.
Seasoned swingers: a couple who have typically been in the lifestyle for some time and are comfortable about exchanging partners and party scenarios.
Separate room: a swinging couple who swap partners and are happy to be in separate rooms while having sex with that other partner.
Single: a swinger without a partner. Does not relate to marital status.
Soft swing (soft swap): a couple who happily play with other couples for kissing, touching, perhaps oral or mutual masturbation or perhaps watch other couples have sex but only have full intercourse with each other.
Spit roast: a sexual activity involving 3 people – 2 active, 1 passive – with simultaneous vaginal /anal penetration and oral penetration.
Squirting: female ejaculation.
SSC: safe, sane & consensual.
Stag & Vixen: similar to the cuckold/hotwife relationship however the "stag" is different from the "cuckold" in that cuckold implies a submissive partner while the stag does not. The stag is a dominant or equal partner who enjoys sharing his partner with other men without being diminished by the act.
Strap on: an artificial phallus, usually a dildo, attached to one partner via a strap or harness.
Stealthing: when a man removes a condom during sex without his partner's consent.
Submissive: passive partner who prefers to be dominated.
Swallowing: too complicated to explain in this post. Any ladies that are interested should contact the writer immediately.
Swapping: two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity.
Swinger: someone who enjoys participating in the swinging lifestyle whether that be soft swing or having sex with others with the full consent and knowledge of their partner.
Swingers club: a premises, often council approved, used exclusively for regular swingers parties. In Australia the regulations vary in each state and territory but there are licensed clubs in NSW & QLD while most other states either hire venues, or residential properties to run "house" parties. The common element is that alcohol cannot be sold where there is penetration, ie. sex. Some gay saunas operate under different legislation (and some are licensed only for MM sex not MF sex).
Swinging: a lifestyle for consenting adults, usually a couple, who enjoy social, recreational sexual activities with others with the full consent and knowledge of both partners.
Swingle: a single who pairs up with someone of the opposite sex to attend swingers parties.
Tantra: a form of sexual expression which emphasises spiritual connection and believes that sex is a sacred act.
Threesome (MFM, FFM): three people, two of one sex, one of the other who have a sexual encounter.
Ticket: a person, usually a woman, brought to a swingers party or event solely to enable the male to gain entrance who generally has no intention of swinging.
Triad: three people, two of one sex and one of the other who are emotional and sexually involved in a relationship. Not the same as a threesome.
Unicorn: used to describe a mythical creature - single woman in the swinging lifestyle.
Utopian: someone who practices swinging as a total lifestyle.
Validation / Certified: the couple behind the online dating profile has had another member vouch for them to confirm they are genuine.
Vanilla: people who don't participate in the swinging lifestyle or clubs or parties which do not have a swinging focus.
Vanilla swirl: someone who is more sexually adventurous but doesn't fully participate in the swinging lifestyle although they are comfortable attending events and perhaps flirting.
Verified: means that the member/s provided identification (or in our instance a code) to confirm that the person/s behind the online dating profile are who they say they are.
Vixen & Stag: a new term becoming popular to refer to a hotwife and her partner.
Voyeurism / Voyeur: sexual arousal from the act of watching the sexual acts of others, eg. viewing porn, erotic photography or consensual public sex.
Wife share / wife swap (hot wife): a married woman who takes male lovers outside the marriage often in the context of swinging or cuckoldry.