7 Things Transgender People are Sick of Hearing
Eva Sless
on 15 February 2016
86 comments
Adult Match Maker prides itself on being a diverse, inclusional meeting place full of wonderful people from all walks of life and all sexualities and preferences. We cater to everything from video chat rooms to sexy events all across Australia. We provide informative content and blogs as well as light-hearted fun and observations from some of Australia's top psychologists and sexperts, and our main goal is to create amazing connections between like-minded people and lose the bullshit and stigma around sex and sexual practices. We believe in fun, openness, respect and consent and, for the most part, we achieve that daily. It's no secret that sexually diverse and open people are usually far more accepting and tolerant of differences than the sexually repressed, however there's one area we as sexually open minded adults need to work on: The way we talk to and with trans people.
When talking to people who identify as trans there are some things you really do not need to say, ask, speculate on or mention. It's often completely innocent and not meant to offend, but regardless of the intent, it can come across as patronising, ignorant and, yes, sometimes downright offensive. Here are our tips on what not to say.
Have You Still Got Your Bits?
Whether talking to a male to female or a female to male trans person this is an offensive question. It is highly private and personal and not up to you to bring up in conversation, no matter how “important” you think it may be. If the person wants to disclose it they will. They will in their profile or in their conversations to you. It is not your place to bring it up.
If you are absolutely only interested in meeting a trans person that has or has not had surgery then find profiles etc that state it specifically. There are plenty of them. That way you will know and not need to ask. If it is not listed, that is their prerogative and their right.
Will You Have The Op?
Like above, this is a highly personal and private question. Especially if it has not been disclosed to you. There are so many reasons why people decide to have or not have surgery and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. At all. Stop asking.
Can I See?
Seriously. What is it with this obsession with other people's genitals? Like okay, I get that sex and genitals go together, but like I have mentioned twice already, unless they choose to disclose to you what is between their legs, it is not your right to ask. Asking to see is actually gross and disrespectful and abusive. It's the equivalent of “show us yer tits” called out to women walking down the street or having your butt groped on public transport. Don't do it.
How Do You Have Sex?
Like all the above, no. Just no. Do not ask this question. It is none of your business! If you are lucky enough to find yourself about to have sex with someone then you know what? You'll find out. But to cater to your voyeuristic fantasies and way-too-personal obsession with other people's genitalia and sex life? No.
Yes I understand chats and flirts and sexy texts can lead to these areas of conversation and that's a little different. In those cases the conversations are often fluid and end up getting to that anyway... And again, if you're lucky enough to get to that stage with anyone – gay, straight, trans, cis, then you're probably gonna find out anyway without making someone else feel like a freak show exhibit.
I've Always Wanted A Trans Friend
What? Why? Is this like a collectors thing? Like I have all the Harry Potter Bobbleheads except Dumbledore and I really need him to finish my collection...?
People are not things to be put on a shelf or to be categorised like this. What do you think a trans friend would bring to your life that is different to, I don't know, just having a friend? It makes no sense. Do you also want an Asian friend and a red-head? Do you get a special badge when you collect the set?
Seriously. This is a dumb thing to say and an offensive idea.
Cisgender is Bullshit and Made Up and Totally Discriminatory
No. No it isn't. Firstly the word cis is derived from the latin word meaning “On the Side Of” and is (in basic basic terms) used in chemistry to identify atoms that lie on the same side of a molecule. When put together with the word “gender” it is (again, in basic basic terms) to describe people who identify their gender with the genitalia they were born with. For example I am cis. I was born with a vagina and I identify as a woman, where as a transgender person may have been born with a vagina but identifies as a male. Both cis and trans people can be straight, gay or asexual and, at this time in history, this labelling is actually necessary in many ways. Yes, we are all humans and in an ideal world labels like this would be unnecessary. But here's the thing, we do not live in an ideal world and as much as many of us are fighting for, and striving for, a time where labels such as Gay or Trans or Cis are no longer needed or relevant, to create that world we actually need to recognise the differences between us. By doing that we can work towards specific changes in laws and recognition of rights for specific people who face specific challenges. If you are one of these people who believe these labels are not necessary, thank your lucky stars for living a privileged life of non-discrimination and acceptance.
That Wasn't Offensive!
You know what? You actually do not get to decide what someone does or does not find offensive, and this goes double or even triple when it comes to situations that are not part of your lived experience. It may not be offensive to you. That's fine. It may not be offensive to another trans person you know. That's fine too. But if someone tells you “That was offensive” don't argue that it wasn't, that it was just a joke, calm down... Say sorry, and don't do it again.
Simple.
It really is pretty simple. Trans people are not freaks or fetishes, nor are they the subject of curiosity or experimentation. They are people who deserve respect and consent like everyone else. Many questions you ask about sex and genitals can actually be really triggering and uncomfortable for people who have spent years suffering from dysphoria and other people's prejudices and they really don't need it from someone who might like to date or have sex with them.
Like mentioned above, Adult Match Maker has a huge selection of wonderfully diverse people and within our pages you will find someone who will tick all your boxes without you having to embarrass yourself or them by asking invasive and offensive questions.
It's not rocket science.... It's just respect.
86 comments
Alicewho
More than a month agoAwesome article
ReplyOver being treated as a person that is unintelligent, broke, desperate, unhappy & a free prostitute by people on these sites. That's in addition to the comments above. To be perfectly honest its furthest from the truth. So glad the world is moving forward, ever so slowly...but forward is better than before.
domesticbliss
More than a month agoI agree with Jydin about just friends but if we are talking sex then although I understand that being asked some of these questions is beyond the pale, there are still certain things that need to be ascertained up front. Not everyone is ambivalent about what is going to be there when the clothes come off. I personally look forward to all scenarios but some FTM or MTF lovers may have certain desires that are not matched by their new friend. When the question is valid and the reason for asking given, is it any different from gay men being asked if they are top or bottom? If the question doesn't seem valid then the asker is ignorant. Unfortunately, it may not be easy to discern whether they are ignorant of how trans works in which case education should be encouraged (see poor NavyToyBoy), or ignorant of people's feelings in which case they should be told that as they are never going to find a trans who would put up with them they don't need their rude questions answered
ReplyLubetube
More than a month agoWell written , shows that research has been sought and pertinent and relevant information found to share. Well done; appreciated.
ReplyKind Regards
L'T'
NAVYTOYBOY3
More than a month agoBecause of this it makes it harder for guys like me who are attracted to Transgender to have a relationship.
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ReplyDeliciousEva
More than a month agoI think it's a matter of decorum and politeness.
Yes of course when it comes to sex some of these questions will arise but it's how you ask, and how well you know the person you're asking.
Like mentioned in the piece there are ways to find out if someone meets your preferences without being rude or insulting.
But you gotta remember, mate, and sorry to be blunt, but it isn't about your feelings and how hard it is for you.
Unique70
More than a month agoIn this day and world, still cant believe we are still discovering neanderthals are still walking amongst us.
ReplyYou are all beautiful, Know that xxxxx
JydinTobio
More than a month agoGreat read. Moral of the story is get to know a person's personality before worrying about the other stuff, because even if it doesn't lead to romance you may make a real friend, and that's always cool.
ReplyCompel
More than a month agoI saw a quote on another site that pretty much puts all of this into a proper perspective, for me at least. Everyone else can make up their own minds. I just hope I can remember it properly, but here goes:
"I used to baby sit a friend's five year old boy. One night while I was baby sitting for my friend, I noticed a beautiful painting of the moon on her son's bedroom wall. I asked him where it came from and he told me that it had been painted by a friend of his mother's. He said, 'She used to be a boy, but she was feeling bad. Now she takes medicine that helps her be a girl. She's fine now.' Yes, sometimes it really is that easy to explain it to a kid!"
Maybe employing the innocence of a small child next time any of us finds ourselves in a first time conversation with ANY member of the human race, might be a good way to make a new friendship or more. And then, maybe no one there will feel offended by anything!
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ReplyAMM.Editor
More than a month agoReminds us of another story where it's being explained to a little boy that his uncle is gay. At the end he just asks if he can have a biscuit.
TrannyBoy88
More than a month agoSo nice to read this, as a trans man I get those same questions and although I'm sick of them I understand why people ask them.
ReplyQue5tor
More than a month agoI'm just a bloke who prefers women. If blokes prefer blokes, that's fine by me. If women prefer other women, that's fine by me too, ( a little heart-breaking, but fine by me as well ).
Considering how tricky it is to identify as anything other than a hetero male or female, I'm willing to make allowances for confusion.
Respect is a two-way street. Idiots are spread across all genders. Nothing wrong with a natural born male wanting to root a natural born female. Deception on either side, or any ware in-between, is to be frowned upon.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoExactly mate. There might be some blokes who are into guys who for some reason believe themselves to be female, but the majority of normal blokes want real women with natural women bits and natural women personalities. As long as those TS people identify themselves as TS, we normal blokes can filter them out.
AMM.Editor
More than a month ago@NeoOrigami they don't believe they are female, they are female. And a post op trans woman's "bits" are as natural as they come, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
Lubetube
More than a month ago@NeoOrigami Thanks for sharing always interested to hear another perspective , but in this day and age; wiser to stay away from the word ,"normal', as it can imply that others are abnormal hence offense is taken .
Matt K.
More than a month agoI was enjoying the page until a few comments in... Pretty upsetting knowing that there are people out there who claim to know, beyond all doubt, that trans people choose to be trans. Seriously what the...? Probably the same people who wouldn't last a day in the shoes of a trans person.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoAgree with you - why does anyone assume that a person CHOOSES their sexual orientation?
Fr33Spirits
More than a month agoGood comment Matt - we agree with you 100%
Account Closed
More than a month agoYou are a wonderful man their should be more like you we are people after all just like all human beings
Account Closed
More than a month agoWell said Matt....
Lubetube
More than a month agoEverything is a choice , granted many choices can be extremely difficult to say the least, but no one is locked in and can change their mind , and change their mind and change their mind as many times as they like ; and/or [not]. It is the freedom to choose that deserves the ultimate focus . There are those with their sexual orientation that have remained the same since birth whether in sync with their physical biological body or not, those who have changed and lets not forget those who continue to change. Lets embrace the freedom to change.
Kind Regards
L'T'.
Alicewho
More than a month agoCouldn't agree more, does anyone really think that you wake up choose to be Trans & that's anywhere in the journey...shit you go through years of anguish and solitude trying to work out why your a freak. Its not a choice you make the coming out might be a choice , the clothes you wear are a choice but not the way your born.
NeoOrigami
More than a month agoI wish transpeople would not pose as women on dating sites. They are not women, and I want to exclude them from my searches.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoNot all do . Plus not all dating sites have the option to say that's what we are until we do a little bit about ourselves and even men that are not into us are given the option to be rude or not
manfactor
More than a month agoYou know what if those questions are offensive . they should jump in the lake
its questions that need answering and no more offensive than asking a sick person about their illness,
and having a conversation, or even asking a non transgender person about their life ,likes and dislikes etc
get a life and live it and grow up
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Replypussinboots70
More than a month agoIf you sat next to me in a bar and started asking questions about my genitals, I'd call the police. What on earth makes you think they are appropriate questions to ask a trans man or woman?
Why do you NEED to know anything at all?
Account Closed
More than a month agoYou compare a trans person with an illness?
Nothing wrong with asking anyone about there "life, likes and dislikes etc"....but its not ok to be an ignorant ass and presume you have the right to know about a persons genital situation.
Trans.Kiwi
More than a month agoWell said, I'm tired of questions such as, have you got a cock, can I see your cock, can you fuck me etc. As if random! I didn't become a girl to fuck you so get a guy if that's what you want, also do people know, look at my pics & figure it out for yourself. Are you a prostitute..... Have you read my profile, does it mention prostitute. If you show me yours I'll show you mine, are you really a tranny. No I just put pre op transexual on my profile for the fun of it... Idiots!
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Replydown_on_u
More than a month agoMost the Trans profile on here only have giving anal, So that goes the other what to what you just said.
I can't work out why they are even transsexual if they only want to give anal and not receive,
I haven't been with a transsexual but why be offended, If you are pre-op or post-op what is the problem showing or asking questions, Don't be ashamed of your body.
I have spoken to a few trannies on here and they always ask, How big is ur cock, and always bring up the part about them fucking my arse.
So if its good enough for them to ask the questions then its good enough for them to be asked the same questions
Account Closed
More than a month agoWell said!!!
perfecttrans
More than a month agoim not offended when people ask me questions, as long as they ask them with respect and manners and not stupidity ill always answer!! but defaintly wont get a reply from me if any of your vocabulary consists of
Hey Mate /Man /Dude/Bro Now that is offensive !!
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoWell said babe.
Account Closed
More than a month agoI don't see anything wrong with ts.
KindaDiffrent
More than a month agoIt's a great sensitive article, however......Why do post op Transgender profiles still have endowment length as an option on AMM? Wouldn't that be offensive as well?
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ReplyAMM.Editor
More than a month agoGood point which has been passed on.
KindaDiffrent
More than a month agoI've looked at female profiles and there's nowhere asking how big their dick is. If you live as a woman, and identify as a woman, you should probably be treated as a woman. I'm not offended at all, just seems a tad hypocritical
Adifferentwoman
More than a month agoThanks voodude for bringing this point up which I raised with AMM some years ago under a different profile, as I am a post op trans woman...xxx
Adifferentwoman
More than a month agoand obviously, I don't have an endowment ...xxx
Account Closed
More than a month agoNot all trans women are post op. Some are pre op, and some are non op and don't want to undergo surgery at all. So I guess the category is there if anyone wants to fill it in. But no one HAS TO put an answer in there :)
flexi74
More than a month agoAt the risk of being attacked the "Have you still got your bits "question should be in the profile if its not then people do have a valid reason to ask . This is as many others are sites predominantly to find sexual partners. Perhaps some members have got suggestions on how to ask this question more tactfully...
ReplyTransista
More than a month agoso true - show some respect.
Replylisahappy
More than a month agothankyou
Replytwofor4sums
More than a month agoGood read....
ReplyGot our support
Cuddlefun86
More than a month agoAs long as they are happy for who they are. I don't care if they are trans, bi, gay or lesbian. They are people too.
ReplyGenGuy73
More than a month agoSpeaking for myself, I would also add that not all Transgender people are unhappy with their body, even though they don't necessarily match it. Therefore not all Transgender people feel the need to 'come out' or dress as the opposite sex (their true gender), so it is possible that people would never know that someone is Transgender unless they are allowing others to see it/know it.
ReplyA great article - thanks AMM!
s.zilla
More than a month agoThis is a very interesting article for me as a heterosexual male who is relatively new to kink and have come to it relatively late in life (50+). I know I have all sorts of questions about all sorts of things and would hate to think that I have offended anyone through "not understanding". I really don't think I would have asked these types of questions from someone who I didn't know reasonably well or where they had raised them first but its still nice to know.
My wife and I have been to the Taxi Club amongst other venue's over the years and never felt uncomfortable or out of place, we have really just loved the vibe and "fun" atmosphere. We are thinking of attending The Sydney Hellfire Club one night as it looks like everyone is just letting their hair down and being who they want to be (at least for the night).
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ReplyAMM.Events
More than a month agoYou should go, it's a very welcoming night and lots of fun. I miss the Taxi Club :-(
Alicewho
More than a month agoGoto to Stonewall on Oxford Street
transbabe67
More than a month agoEducation is the key. I think it all boils down to the way the person asking approaches it. Yes respect and common sense are the key factors. I get asked a lot of questions because I am post op. If the person asking does so in a polite way then I am happy to respond and educate. However there are still some narrow minded people and we just have to let them move on with their ignorance, because no matter how much you try to educate them, YOU WONT.
Trans is now becoming more main stream and no longer a taboo topic. Let's embrace this and share our journey. trans women are unique and I never want to loose that quality.
Kiss Kiss - Transbabe67
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agowell said honey almost exactly what id have written. ox
TSPhoenixJae
More than a month agoThis article is Absolute Heaven!
THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU
MMMWWWAAAHHH!!!
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ReplyDeliciousEva
More than a month agoYou are very welcome.
It's such an important topic to me, that of respect and consent and acceptance.
That we have to write these is sad, but that it resonates and educates is wonderful.
:)
LadyDragon
More than a month agoWhile I thoroughly agree with the respect issue, I must say that my first thought was "but how do i know what I will get if I have sex with this person?"
Surely, like each profile on this site - which is a trolling for sex site, after all - if you want penetration, one needs to have a cock and the other a pussy? I'm talking basic sex here, and yes I'm a bit naive perhaps (I LOVE penetration by real, not toy, cocks, as a female with most of my internal bits, and all of the external ones, but those missing don't affect the act at all!). Perhaps it's just me, being dumb because I don't know what is wanted of or by a gendered-other person when having sex... but if I was to meet a straight guy, I wouldn't want one with no cock! That's MY requirement... I'm sure a straight guy would be upset with me if I'd posted as a straight woman and I (somehow!!!) presented him with a rather obvious penis & no vagina when I got to the undressing stage! But (pun intended) I again suppose he could fill the other orifice... it's all up for discussion and agreement. I assume the same for trans, etc...
So, thanks for the interesting article... as a naive person I'm now a little better informed. And ALWAYS respectful, even though I'm very curious about lots of things... ;-)
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Replypussinboots70
More than a month agoIf you're about to have sex with someone, it's about the ONLY time I would imagine its appropriate to ask personal questions. Discussions about limits, boundaries and expectations are never inappropriate between people who are going to be intimate, regardless of gender in my opinion.
Account Closed
More than a month agoTrans people still can be straight, gay, bi, or whatever.
I am a trans guy, and I am pansexual (I'm attracted to people based on their personality and our connection, gender and genitals are irrelevant to me).
I've been with plenty of straight women who've enjoyed being in bed with me, regsrdless of the fact I do not have a penis. If she wants to be penetrated, I have many dicks in an assortment of colours, shapes and sizes, and my dick will stay hard all night! And there's plenty of other activities to engage in besides penis into vagina penetration. ;)
But no trans person is going to get you into a bedroom and yell "surprise" when she has a penis/he has a vagina. This would lead to things like trans bashings and trans murders...which I don't really think I need to explain why that would be bad for us.
Sinndy
More than a month agoWhat a wonderful article and some excellent comments so far. Yes the transgender area is quite mystifying to some, and I'm sure not all realise how the un thought out questions may upset those of us who prefer this way of life. As pointed out just some common decency and respect may lead to some wonderful meet ups with some truly lovely people. I must say that so far I have been treated respectfully on AMM and generally that way as well in public so hopefully articles like this help inform people of the many diversities that we have in a day to day lives. Luv Sinndy
Replysydneycpl85
More than a month agoI'm sorry, but you CHOSE to become a tranny. Nobody forced you to. And since you have chosen to come out in public dressed as someone from the other sex, guess what, people are going to be confused! And when people are confused, they ask questions. Duh!
None of these questions are unreasonable, they are things that people genuinely want to understand. If they want people to understand what it is they are, then they have to put up with the questions and explain themselves. Either that or just be happy in their own bodies.
End rant.
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ReplyDeliciousEva
More than a month agoActually no. Like being gay, lesbian or bisexual, no one "chooses" to be trans. This is exactly who they are and how they identify.
Finally stepping out as the gender you identify with is a huge and important step in ones life. That IS being happy in their own bodies and finally living a true life.
Wanting to understand and educate yourself, versus asking intimate and personal questions that are deeply personal and offensive are two completely different things.
See the last point. "that wasn't offensive"? Read it again. Read it and take it in and realise that your comment is utterly offensive and hurtful.
Account Closed
More than a month agoI agree sydney couple. Nothing wrong with asking questions just to clarify things. If I dressed as an elephant than I should expect people to ask me why I'm dressing as an elephant and is that trunk real or fake ;)
sydneycpl85
More than a month agoDelicious, express your opinion by all means. But I will also express mine. Thats the beauty of this great country we live in, we all get to have an opinion.
The only thing that offends me in this world is people like you, who TELL people what they need to think. This article is an opinion piece, its not law, its not gospel, its an opinion. And I have every right to share a counter opinion.
Express your thoughts and move on. If someone does not share the same thoughts as you, suck it up and live your life, because not everyone needs to live their life by your standards and principles.
Account Closed
More than a month agoWhere do you get the idea that a Transgender person CHOSE to be that way? That is sooooo ignorant!
allinmymind
More than a month agoDelicious you left out straights, they are getting tired of explaining why they aren't bi.
KinkyGirl101
More than a month agoI think this comment highlights why we all needed to read this article. Firstly, it wasn't their choice to be transgender, they were born in the wrong bodies - bodies which they don't identify with - and this is why trans have one of the highest rates of suicide around the world. Secondly the suggestion that they have "chosen to come out in public dressed as someone from the other sex" shows a complete lack of understanding of what it means to be transgender. They've actually been going out their entire lives dressed as someone from the other sex. I transgender friends, one mtf pre op in a wonderful relationship with a woman, one mtf post op who will shortly start living her female life full time, and 2 cross dressers in happy hetero relationships who are happy in their bodies but just need to dress. Aren't we lucky in live in Australia where these varied gendered people can live their true selves. And yes we do currently need the labels but we also need to educate ourselves and I thank the author for doing that so eloquently. BTW didn't ever understand CIS so thanks for the explanation.
Account Closed
More than a month agoOf course people choose to be who they are...just as those that choose to celibate .Let me clarify We choose to act on our urges cause underneath we are really all the same . As for born in the wrong bodies unless we are god how do we know ? The problem with our society is we project norms onto people and try to pidgeon hole them . Live and let live its simple really.
Account Closed
More than a month agoFlexi - people can choose to be celibate, but no-one actually chooses their gender, any more than they choose their eye colour - to say otherwise is extremely insensitive (and downright stupid).
Fr33Spirits
More than a month agoYou can choose how you treat others different to you, but no one can choose their gender. If you can, you are quite an extraordinary person.
pussinboots70
More than a month agoWheeeeee.eeeeeeee...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
That is the sound of the final paragraph, flying high in the sky, right over Sydneycpl's head.
shemalesex
More than a month agoVery good informative article, respect should be given to Transgender, respect also given in return i have spoken to many Transgender on AMM always like chatting to new members also many old members have told me alot of these stories, i never heard of the word cis like to learn more about all Trangender meanings. AMM known as a sex site, for all genders, but iam happy to chat to all Transgender learn and build friendships here, and if all leads up to sex were both happy and enjoy. Cheers
ReplyHorny4Playmates
More than a month agoExcellent article I'm more worldly now as i never heard of the "cis" term
Cheers for that :) :)
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoDitto.
cintria6
More than a month agoi totally agree
i get asked all these above questions they cannot believe im a transgender lady ....like how come?
you look so feminine ,you are hot and sexy babe .....the lists just goes on an yes
ive never tried a transgender lady but have always been curious....so my reply would be so im some kinda experimental project like you said for a bucket list to be ticked !
i have met some nice men who are very sensitive and kind but like always it always leads to sex sex sex ....i know it hard for men to imagine as i was once myself so driven by my male hormones to get off quick and fast when the so need arises
now living my life as a full time woman my needs have changed so very much ..i have seen both sides of the fence so to speak ....... look guys think about how you want to present yourself to anyone whether a man or woman..its just self respect and that will lead you to understand yourself and your sexuality
ive spent years soul searching who and what i am and finally had the guts to do this ..its hard and difficult to be able to balance the hormone replacement therapy which is so screwing up your brains with mood swings that makes me so moody and angry and sometimes happy ..i dont know if im coming or going at times and to have men having ask me stupid and ride and crase remarks and question just really tops the cake of disgust !BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK is my weapon !
boys if you dont behave yourself here on this website even its a sex website i know yes ...ill definitely BLOCK you immediately lol ok so be sensitive and please be polite and civilised as a human being !
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ReplyAsex69
More than a month agoWell said.
hotguyyes
More than a month agoGreat article. I've never heard of Cisgender till now. I googled it and its very confusing. I do have some transgender friends. Some of them prefer the old term "transsexual" though. I need more study on this :)
ReplyImUrSlut
More than a month agoThank you for a very informative basic guide, but like hetro's & all others, there are those of us who are more sensitive, & those who couldn't care.
It depends mostly on road trip we have experienced, to get to where we are now.
Just be fair minded, & treat us like you would like someone to treat you or ask similar questions.
Fair enough, but not always easy sob sob
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ReplyDeliciousEva
More than a month agoAgreed.
However I find with things that could possibly offend or be inappropriate it's far better to err on the side of caution and to be respectful and courteous and let the person you're talking to lead the conversation into those topics.
If they are the sort of person who couldn't really care either way, you'll find that out pretty quickly by the way they talk and respond.
Far better than accidentally offending someone you wanted to get to know better.
Jessica1tg
More than a month agoGreat article. I understand that people are curious about me as a trans person. I am happy to talk about every part of my life at the right time with the right person. I suggest if people are interested then they begin by introducing them selves and establishing a conversation. Then they can say something like , " hey are you comfortable to talk about your gender?" On AMM I expect people to be more direct with their questions. This is AMM after all. But again I get messages all the time that I am left thinking does anyone ever reply to this idiot. I am never offended by people who say, " is it ok if we talk about this or talk about that." Because it shows that they respect that I may not wish to talk about some things. Tanya
Replyserg685
More than a month agoIf you are in that situation is hard unless you know how to manage it,, never happen to me and surely enough if it does I will have to play by ear.
ReplyKindaDiffrent
More than a month agoSo just common sense then
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ReplyDeliciousEva
More than a month agoHaha yes. Exactly!
You'd be surprised how often people have none of it.
Account Closed
More than a month agoCommon sense ain't so common!!!
gold.cougar
More than a month agoGreat article, very helpful.
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ReplyAMM.Editor
More than a month agoWe're glad it seems to have hit the mark. Even if most of it is common sense, it's good to understand the other person's perspective.
alburyjim
More than a month agoRespect and love fixes everything.we are all different in so many ways. If you respect and or love that person/ people this world would be such an even more beautiful place to live.
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Replyallinmymind
More than a month agoYou are just a very lovely guy though.
CoastalColour
More than a month agoCouldn't agree more. I don't know any transgender people, and am naturally curious... BUT ....surely it is all about respect.
I do find the response under the "Can I See" heading amusing though. The same surely applies to straight, gay ... Anyone? The amount of requests one gets for genital photos straight up... Let's leave that for a while surely?
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ReplyJessica1tg
More than a month agoI agree Coastal Colour. Every thing that applies to trans people applies to EVERY ONE. What right does anyone have to ask disrespectful questions of anyone else. Cheers Tanya
DeliciousEva
More than a month agoHaha. Oh yes. I think almost everyone from any label or orientation or gender has experienced the "show us your bits" messages.
Fun fun.
They're the first in the "not today or ever" pile.
Haha