The Funny Side of Sex


As I am sure you are aware (and if not, where have you been?) I have had a lot of sex. Heaps! I have had sex for pleasure, sex for money, sex in groups, sex with people from all walks of life, all genders, and all levels of experience from nervous virgins to seasoned sexperts like myself, and I can tell you I have learnt a lot and am still learning to this day. I also spend a lot of time talking about sex, educating about it and writing about it and would have to say that the one thing people seem to forget, and don't talk about as often as I think they should, is that sex can be a pretty damn funny thing.

Honestly, people take it so seriously and I think that's one of the main reasons so many people are screwed up in the head over the whole sex thing. They spend so much time worrying about how they look, how they perform, how they will measure up that they kind of forget to enjoy it.

Yes, it's intimate and a great way to connect to your partner. Yes, it can be a life changing moment when you lose your virginity. Yes, it can be an amazingly spiritual experience too... But it's still funny!

I mean, they don't call it “bumping uglies” for nothing you know. You've gotta admit genitals are rather odd looking, all sticking out like someone forgot a piece and glued it on at the last minute, or all creased up and seafoody looking with all sorts of confusing folds and bits to find... And then there's all the noises that can come out when you're having sex. There's uncontrollable grunts and groans and moans and squeals. There's that sort of wet slapping and squelching noise that sounds a bit like stirring custard with a sausage and don't get me started on queefing: the often embarrassing farty noises that can come out of a vagina when a bit of air gets trapped inside. Sex-face is another hilarious side effect of doing the deed. Eyes rolling, faces scrunched up, tongues hanging out. I swear I've even drooled before.

There's sweat drips and nose snorts and accidental elbow jabs. I once kneed a guy in the head when we tried an awkward sixty-nine in a cramped space, and then there are those moments when you accidentally stick something in the wrong hole or grab the wrong bit in the dark.

I truly believe if people stopped stressing so much about “being embarrassing” or “feeling gross” when these sort of things happen, it would take a huge amount of pressure of the actual act itself. It is absolutely vital to a healthy and happy sex life to be able to sit back and laugh and enjoy all the craziness that comes with it. And anyway, when you think about it, if you've got to the point where you're sharing your most intimate bits with another person, what's a little fanny fart between friends.


  • snugglebug78 Photo
    More than a month ago

    So so true, I'm so glad someone has put it out in the open, like one said if your both naked well honestly whatever the noise enjoy, hmmmm now to find a man to make all that true

  • Bihunter666
    More than a month ago

    Totally agree with your thought on sex. We all should treat sex like sport. Its fun & funny most times or some can interpret as spiritual. There's no right or wrong. To each its own. As long as one doesn't feel violated. Yeah don't be judgemental of others sexual preference.

  • lovetocum2 Photo
    More than a month ago

    Yeah have to agree with you there, had a few woman covered in sweat which is great but one was so drenched I laughed so hard as I couldn't hold on to her any more as she kept slipping away. But a few quick towel downs and continuing with
    the fun :)

  • lander001 Photo
    More than a month ago

    Yep , you have to relax and enjoy. We had an incident when a friend came over recently and we added a little too much lubricant to the was slip and slide and way too much laughing!

  • MAGICMAN84 Photo
    More than a month ago

    Great article all too true I enjoyed it am if allowed going to print in its entirety for my lover who has been stuffed up by a church' teaching (old school very hard to deal with )

  • spiritwishes
    More than a month ago

    Ah, the truth at last! If you're naked and together, pretty much you both want to be there! Why not just relax and enjoy, indulge, pleasure and relish the skin on skin contact with each other and simply give in to the sensations and feelings you are giving and receiving from your sexual partner....hmmmmmmmm, ooooh, ahhhhh!

  • arcana0
    More than a month ago

    I totally agree, it's never as nice until people forget to be self-conscious. Oh how I long for someone who is not excessively self-aware :)

  • pippo49
    More than a month ago

    My wife sometimes farts when i am licking her pussy

  • damien56
    More than a month ago

    Yes I'll have to agree with you Eva. And may I add we are so brainwashed into thinking that we don't measure up (no pun intended) that we have lost our self-esteem in regard to sex. We have ended up denying ourselves and others one of the most satisfying, natural pleasures of life. Sex is fun and sex is healthy for the body and mind or soul. Damien 56

  • twiceasnice1
    More than a month ago

    she even looks gorgeous.....

  • 1lucky.1
    More than a month ago

    A good article Eva. Lets all lighten up a little whilst bumping uglies. Making sex fun and having a laugh is so much better for the mind and body rather than stressing.

  • paulf88 Photo
    More than a month ago

    great read ,,and oh so true

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