Does your vulva need this?

Pale pink cloth folded to look like the folds of a woman's vulva

These days the world of social media is almost completely dominated by advertising. Yeah, I know ads and pop ups etc have always been a part of the online world, but these days they're also cleverly disguised behind "Influencers" creating flash trends, beauty hacks, and viral challenges to sell you things you don't need in a world overflowing with things we don't need.

Pretty much everything you see on apps like Insta and TikTok is an ad, or has been influenced by an ad. Clothes, make up, weight loss products, pet accessories, jewellery. Everything.

So it's no surprise that our genitals have become advertising real estate, ready to be "improved" by the "latest trend-hack that will totally change your life".

While it's tempting to jump on the bandwagon, it's absolutely vital to tread carefully when it comes to following these trends because, for the most part, like all advertising, it's probably utter bullshit. And like so many of these viral internet change your life body hacks, could actually be pretty bad for your bits and the people that enjoy your bits.

It Started with a Femme Fresh Vajazzle

It's not a new thing.  Before the rise of the internet there were still a lot of weird vulva trends. Intimate shower washes were some of the first mostly unnecessary "must haves" for your VJ, and anyone who watched Oprah in the 90s surely remembers the bizarre Vajazzle obsession. We have Sex and the City to thank for an entire generation ripping their pubic hair out with wax, but the rise of vulva-focused products in the beauty industry has truly been meteoric in the past few years, thanks in large parts to social media influencers touting their benefits.

From moisturisers promising to hydrate, rejuvenate, and plump you up, to spritzers claiming to balance pH levels and make you smell like a flower, or even glitters and bronzers to make it shine, it's easy to get caught up in the allure of these quick fixes. Okay sure, who doesn't want a smoother, fresher, and prettier pussy?

But hey guess what?

You already have one!

Your Vagina Is Fine!

I have said it million times, and I will say it again a billion more I'm sure...

Your vagina and it's surrounds is fine! It's normal! It looks like a vagina is supposed to look. It smells like a vagina is meant to smell. It does not need you to do ANYTHING to it but wipe it (front to back) after the toilet, and wash it (the vulva) with pH balanced soap or body wash. Oh, and if so inclined, give it an orgasm regularly.

It's your choice whether you want to groom your pubic hair. It's your choice on how you deal with periods.

Yes, obviously it's your choice on how you decide to decorate or adorn it too, but despite the glossy promises and picture-perfect endorsements of these moisturisers, spritzers, and prettier-uppers, experts warn against blindly embracing these trends.

Be Genital Gentle

The skin around the vulva is some of the most delicate and sensitive skin on our entire bodies. This is partly because the whole area is mostly self sufficient and needs very little from us, and also can be great for intimacy and pleasure, but it can also mean it is prone to irritation and allergic reactions if foreign or inappropriate things get near it.

Many of the products I'm talking about are absolutely not created for those sorts of areas at all, they're just rebranded body products, and therefore contain fragrances, preservatives, and other potentially harmful ingredients that could not only disrupt the natural balance of your vagina, but also cause actual damage to your bits, leading to discomfort, pain, and even infections.

Beauty Should Not Be Pain

With all the plucking and tweezing, and fillers and high heels, and tight waists, and all of the other things women do to make themselves "beautiful" it's no wonder so many of us accept discomfort as just a way of being a woman, but it really shouldn't be.

Rashes and blisters from using fragrance spritzers are a common and horrible side effect, as is thrush from sweet vulva refreshers, and don't get me started on the cuts and abrasions you can get from "vagina glitter".

It's just not worth it.

She's not a Doctor

Seriously please. Before slathering on that trendy vulva cream that the cute chick on TikTok swears by, it's essential to exercise caution and prioritise your health.

Firstly check the source. Are they a gynaecological expert? A sexual health professional? Someone over the age of 20 who has a little more vagina experience than the average high school student?

Listen to the language they use. Is it "shame" heavy? Telling you a natural vagina is somehow dirty/gross/unclean/in need of fixing?

Because it isn't and they're lying to you.

Always read the ingredients list carefully, and if you do buy products, opt for ones that are specifically formulated for the vulva's unique pH levels. But seriously, if you think you're in need of something down there, talk to your doctor first.

Caveats to Consider

While vulva beauty products definitely have their pitfalls, it is important for me to acknowledge that not all intimate care/vulva products are created equal. There are some that are absolutely necessary in some situations and for some people, but again, these would usually be talked about first with a doctor.

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) creams, for instance, can play a crucial role in managing menopausal symptoms and improving vaginal health. These prescription-based treatments are designed to address specific concerns under medical supervision. There are some vaginal moisturisers that can be incredibly useful and needed during and after menopause, and if you absolutely have to make it look/smell/taste different there are always fun and body safe products sold in adult shops (always check the ingredients though as some adult companies are more ethical than others).

We all get caught up in trends. It's human nature to want to jump off the bridge when everyone else is, but none of us want to be the one that lands on the half submerged trolley and never comes out again...

Always be safe, cautious and smart when it comes to viral trends and what influencers tell you. Your bits will thank you.

1 comment

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  • Zamboon
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    More than a month ago

    Wise words I would say and cannot add much of course.. I have experienced bad smelling VJ's on 3 occasions - each of the ladies were nice people and seemed educated and up to date but I wondered why they could not notice their own odour?
    I was too embarrassed to tell them although I felt for their well being I should have ... it may be more common than we think - all I know is I could not see them again ... pity

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