Sex in isolation and how it affects you!

Feet in colourful hand knitted socks lying next to a cat

These are anxiety inducing times and each of you will be in a unique situation. So how do you not only cope with sex or lack thereof in a time of self-isolation but look after yourself physically and mentally. 

I have been dealing with these weird times in the only way I know how, by researching. I have been researching the bejesus out of this and I wanted to share with you what I learnt about how to cope with dating, sex, your sexuality and relationships in a time of self-isolation. 

Well, it turns out that was a pretty big ask because we are all in different situations. Some of us are not even close to being isolated as we take the kids to school and then go to work. Others are working from home with their partners, with or without kids. Some of you are home, alone or with flatmates. Anyway, you get the idea. I can’t give you one solution because it is not a one size fits all situation. 

What I do know is that more and more of us will be stuck at home and for more and more of the time so I thought that maybe you could do what I do and research. Each of you will be in a unique situation and will either be able to research and then practise what you learnt with someone else or by yourself. For instance, this would be a great time to investigate Tantric sex or work your way through the Karma Sutra. For those on their own, this is an ideal opportunity to research your own body. Take your time when you are masturbating, instead of just getting the job done. This is your chance to really investigate your whole body. Go and look at Eva’s articles on the blog and try out something you haven’t tried before.

Coping with anxiety during COVID-19

It is important to look after yourself, mentally and physically right now. These are anxiety-inducing days and it is very easy to end up lying on a couch, eating an entire packet of Tim Tams in sweatpants and feeling incredibly unsexy. And you know what? That is absolutely okay.

When our world is gripped in anxiety-inducing pandemic confusion feeling crappy is a justifiable response. For a bit. Then you will need to have a look at what you are doing and what you need to do to look after yourself and take some small actions to that end. 

You are your safest sex partner during COVID-19

The thought that the world as we know it might be ending could be inducing horniness levels that you would not have thought possible alongside a toilet paper shortage. This is also normal. Unfortunately, this sort of reaction also makes people take risks. Don’t. Do not run around having sex with strangers because you are anxious, bored or lonely or you ‘might as well’ because we are ‘all going to get it anyway’. I also know that telling people not to do something will make them want to rebel so let me rephrase that, please think about why you want to do something and moderate your actions accordingly. If we practise caution now we will reduce the severity of this pandemic in the long run.  Instead why don’t you run around in the chat rooms having lots of sexy, flirty time in a safe manner that won’t put our hospitals under undue pressure? 

Cosmopolitan has a poll on an article about not wanting sex and those that are feeling hornier as of yesterday was 45% and those feeling less horny was 55%. See, your reaction is normal. 

Some of you will be able to act on what you are feeling and others won’t. 

You may be in a situation where you don’t want sex and are alone. In that case, at least touch yourself in caring ways, take time to moisturise your whole body, or better yet give yourself massages. Take baths, research some other types of self-care, and when you are ready try some new masturbation techniques. My other self-care is to meditate; Calm and Headspace are both excellent.

The COVID-19 pandemic is a time to innovate and improvise 

This is a time where you have an opportunity to (and will have to) improvise and possibly learn more about your own sexuality, your partner’s sexuality and for those who are swingers; find new ways to include others in your play while not inviting them into your bed. This is where we can be grateful for technology. Webcams are going to help all of us so thank god Adult Match Maker’s Video Chat works on all mobile devices and laptops/desktops. 

Make sure you are communicating with others about how you feel. Anxiety causes stress and stress can affect us differently. If you have a partner that shuts down and one who goes crazy this could cause all sorts of issues. Set boundaries, accept differences, keep connecting and be understanding.

It is a time to reach out to others and share the love, or pictures of your boobs, or your tips on how to masturbate or write erotic stories and upload them for others to enjoy.

Connect with other people and at some point get off the couch and get the blood pumping. Walking your dog or playing with your cat is also highly recommended to lower stress. 

And if you are like me, research. We have some great articles right here on sex toys, cybersex and masturbation. Apply that research in a practical manner when you can.

This won’t last forever. We will get through this, together.

Remember masturbation will not spread COVID-19 so you are your safest sex partner during this pandemic. The next safest option is someone you live with or are isolating with. But if you’re not already in a sexual relationship with that person consider the implications of starting a friends with benefits relationship with someone in a time when anxiety and stress are high as this can potentially create more anxiety and stress. Remember to use condoms (if you are in a monogamous or fluid bonded or long term relationship this might not be applicable but if you’re on AMM and reading this, it probably is). And properly clean your sex toys and don’t share them with your partner unless you use a condom. If you meet your sex partners online or are multi-dating then the advice is to limit your sexual partners and consider taking a total break from in person dates or sexual contact. Video Chat, skype, sext all maintain social distancing which is so critical at this point in time. 

This information was extracted from a NYC gov document which you can download.


Have your say! Login to comment.
  • Mike01974


    More than a month ago

    Stay safe. ALL

  • Photos in private gallery


    More than a month ago

    Going to be interesting possibly even hot to see.. Is this going to be like the first days of Aids.. The virus is the same in the people affected do not show visible symptoms .. I do not advocate stranger sex at this time but gee it was more erotic to find a lady who did not practice safe sex during the 80's even with strangers .. a lot like the bareback pregnacy kink .. That added thrill .. Hopefully the virus will be contained by 6 months threw isolation

  • NursenDoctor


    More than a month ago


  • MaleOnQuest


    More than a month ago

    I've been practising for "sex in isolation" for years and now I can finally make use of all that experience.

  • AngelDreaming


    More than a month ago

    Well said...thank you

  • estravan


    More than a month ago

    Great article Emma with very sensible advise. I resigned to being in a drought at the moment but we all appreciate your efforts in these trying times I’m sure. It’s not all about sex. There is communication, respect and dare I say the l word :)

    • Mindfood2


      More than a month ago

      I totally Agree, well said...

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