Let's talk about Pregnancy & Sex

Q: My wife and I enjoy swinging and it’s a big part of our sex life. We have recently discovered that she is pregnant which is wonderful, however we are curious about whether that means we will have to change our swinging ways. I have never seen a pregnant woman at a swingers event and we’re wondering if it is frowned upon or unhealthy for the baby or anything like that?

Firstly I would just like to congratulate you and your wife. Yay babies! That’s awesome news. 

Secondly I want you to know that, unless there are specific health issues your doctor diagnoses, sex is not harmful to babies in utero, and that includes sex with multiple partners so don’t worry about your baby’s health in that sense. I will, however, remind you that condoms don’t just stop conception, they are imperative to safe sex and important to be used in all sexual encounters so just because she is pregnant and can’t get double pregnant, she will still be susceptible to STIs, which, in turn, can infect the baby via the mother’s bloodstream. Also be aware some STIs, like herpes and warts and even syphilis, can’t be protected by condom use, and herpes (which is manageable but incurable) can be transferred to the baby during birth. 

And thirdly, although it’s not super common, yes I have seen pregnant women at parties and events before and, just like any scene or group, everyone is so diverse in their likes, dislikes, thoughts and feelings that really the only person whose opinion on the topic of swinging while pregnant should matter is the person who is pregnant. 

For the most part swingers are usually really open-minded and non-judgemental, but yes, you will probably encounter certain people within the scene who will have certain opinions on you and your life and lifestyle choices. I guess the main thing to figure out is does that bother you? And to what scale does it bother you? On the other hand you will also find people that don’t care one way or the other, and you may even find some people who find pregnant women an incredible turn on.

To be completely blunt, do what works for you and your wife. If you still want to keep playing and indulging then I say why the hell not! I mean, as one parent to another, once the baby arrives it’s going to be a long time before either of you have the time, energy or means to play much at all so why not get as much of your jollies off as you can before your world is taken over by a tiny, scrunched up screaming thing.

Just remember to always practice safe sex, informed consent, and respect of other players.

Have fun, happy Swinging, and congratulations once again!