Relationships are awesome. They connect us continually with a person we love. They teach us about life, love, compromise and compassion…. But they can also be hard sometimes. Living in close proximity with another person can take work to keep it fresh and alive and, when it comes to sex, it’s important to keep it exciting and enjoyable! We’ve looked at heaps of different ways to spice up your love life and keep the sexy magic popping in your life, but sometimes we forget that sex is just one part of the “machine” that is a relationship, and everyone knows that just one small broken part of a machine can make the whole thing stop working! So we’ve put together a few things that, although are not necessarily sex itself, are part of the oil and cogs that keep the relationship machine running smoothly and will have a peripheral but positive effect on your sex life.
1. Expect Change
This is really important. The “honeymoon” phase of a relationship is amazing. All you want to do is spend time with your new partner. You hardly ever leave the bedroom, you call and message and text all the time. You live, eat and breathe them…. But it’s just not sustainable long term. Life, work, friends, family, everything else needs attention too and you need to work out a good, healthy balance. The best way to do this is to recognise it and accept it. Accept that your partner spending time away from you isn’t actually an act AGAINST you, it’s just them spending time not with you, and it’s actually healthy to maintain relationships outside of your “relationship”, and you both should do it frequently. Accept that they are human and will fart and burp and say the wrong thing and wake up looking like hell and leave towels on the floor… And that all of that is part of why you fell in love with them in the first place.
2. Find Time To Laugh
Seriously. Laughter is amazing. It has proven health and well-being benefits, and is a really awesome way to connect with and enjoy your partner’s company. Find stand-up comedians and silly movies you both like and curl up and watch them on the couch, or go to live shows and support local comedy acts. Buy silly games like Cards Against Humanities (be aware it can be rather offensive and might not be for everyone) and try and see the funny side of life together. Sing silly songs, make up funny stories about those neighbours you hate, send selfies of yourself pulling stupid faces. Keep it funny and fresh and light and you’ll always have a good time together.
3. Have A Holiday At Home
This can be a bit tricky with kids, but these are the times you pull in every “favour” and offer of babysitting from friends and family. Get away for a night and book yourself into a hotel! You don’t have to do it often, and you can totally do it on the cheap too! Seriously, you don’t need the Hyatt Penthouse suite, just a dodgy motel will do the trick (and check those price comparison sites, you’ll be blown away at how cheap you can get a good room for), but it’s a great way to get away, have a change of scenery, and do it in a bed that someone else will totally clean up for you the next day – Win! But in all seriousness just having a night away from home without all the stressors of home can be a wonderful way to not only perk yourself up, but keep a spark of spontaneity in your relationship as well.
4. Do Something New Together
Extra curricula activities are awesome, but, surprisingly, are something we rarely share with our partners! For example your partner might play a sport on the weekend, and you have a social group activity you love, but they’re not things you necessarily do with them! I totally think it’s time to get out and do something completely different and learn a new skill together! Go take a Chinese cooking class together or learn how to swing dance, or take an art class! Not all of these have to cost money (have a look at local community guides and websites for cheap and free classes and courses) and it’s a great way to do something together and keep connected!
5. Reminders & Mementos
Have you ever left a post-it note on the mirror telling your husband how hot he is? Do you ever leave a rose on the kitchen bench for your wife to find? Do you make little efforts every day to show them just what they mean to you? Do you keep special trinkets and gifts they’ve given you and show them how much these small gestures have meant? These are all wonderful, small ways to keep your partner and your life happy and content. Are you bringing them a coffee? Take a small flower or note with it. Are you texting them to remind them to bring home milk? Send a kiss selfie or silly pic with it. Remind them why you fell in love with them, and that everything you do is to make a positive and happy life for you both to enjoy.
Remember, life has a habit of getting in the way of everything that is really important so it’s vital to remember to support, love and connect with our partners on those little things, so that when it comes to the big things, you’re a team and a power couple who can face anything life wants to throw at them.