7 New Sex & Relationship Terms You Need to Know


This article originally appeared in Huffington Post and is reproduced with permission from the author.​

There is no escape the proliferation of handheld electronic devices as we live in the world now accustomed to words like “selfies” and “sexting”. Here are seven sex and relationship terms that I didn’t know of growing up and I thought you might also want to know about them!

1. Stealthing

Otherwise known as non-consensual condom removal, Stealthing is the practice of one sex partner covertly removing a condom, when consent has only been given by the other sex partner for condom-protected safer sex. Released in April, a new study by Alexandra Brodsky for the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law explores this phenomenon and how those who fall victim to the practice can move forward. This entitlement to “bareback” sex is act of gender-based violence and is sexual assault. Do not do this to anyone!

2. Ghosting

This involves the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. It is done in hopes that the recipient will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. While many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to not hurt their feelings of the ghostee, it creates confusion for the ghostee and is closely related to the subject’s maturity and communication skills.

3. Phubbing 

A mash-up of the words “phone” and “snubbing”, Phubbing refers to that annoying moment when you’re trying to talk to somebody and they ignore you because they’re entranced by social media. Unsurprisingly the Professors James Roberts and Meredith David, at Baylor University’s Hankamer School of Business, released a study in Jan 2016 that showed: The more a partner was on the receiving end of phubbing, the more smartphone use was a source of conflict in their relationship. And higher levels of smartphone conflicts led to greater relationship dissatisfaction.

4. Breezing 

The opposite of “playing hard to get”, Breezing is the ultimate easy-breezy where I-care-so-little-I’m-going-to-text-back-right-now. You are doing everything in your power to prove you don’t care essentially. In short, not playing any games has become the new playing the game.

5. Gaslighting 

A form of psychological abuse, Gaslighting happens when a victim is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception, and sanity. This can range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. This calculated tactic pays off when their victim becomes more dependent on them. Even if a gaslighter is not aware of their manipulative behavior, that does not make it acceptable — it is still pathological, and it is still their responsibility.

6. EUM 

EUM is short for “emotional unavailable man” though it can apply to females as well. Such people may already be dating somebody else, married, recently separated or divorced, or in a long-distance relationship. The other party might wonder about the status and future of their relationship. To me, the difference between this and other types of relationships such as “fling”, “one night stand”, “fuck buddies” is that there is a sense of lack of emotional intimacy, and commitment to the relationship present or the future.

7. Designer Relationships

Coined by Kenneth Haslam, “Designer Relationships” refer to people who in partnership craft the type of love and life that works for them – allowing room for flexibility and change. They may encompass: people who bond emotionally but not sexually; people who agree to be non-exclusive; single people who have occasional lovers or friends with benefits; multiple partner configurations where long-term bonds exist among all or some; partnerships in which people are kinky and that make room to explore kink. The authors of Designer Relationships Patricia Johnson and Mark A. Michaels make it clear that they are not advocating that all of us ought to be in non-mongamous relationships, but rather are encouraging us to figure out what works for us as individuals.

There you go, seven sex and relationship terms. Are you aware of any new ones I should know about?


  • Bustylady1984
    More than a month ago

    My ex partner is 6 out 7 of these, also at the same token he cheated on me 3 months prior to the break-up an through this site (an still on here), main reason was he was "too old" for children an he's only 35, won't be taking him back if he had a guilty conscious etc, I won't be fully trusting someone straight away if I went back into another relationship as I put my guard back up again

  • gutentagguys Photo
    More than a month ago

    A man I met and unfortunately dated from a traditional dating website stealth me about 10 years ago . I wish I had called the police . If anyone did it to me now I would. I felt extremely violated and taken advantage of , and ended the relationship as I knew I could never trust him again. Good read. Thanks.

  • Scorpioplay
    More than a month ago

    Sadly this has become the new norm to far to many people, not just a men's issue. Respect and having the back bone and confidence to be able to express ones feelings because technology has dulled peoples emotions, thoughts & what's right. R E S P E C T.. Some of us still obtain old school morals

    • looking1103 Photo
      More than a month ago

      No one can be trusted anymore!

    • MissThatTouch
      More than a month ago

      I now look at it as 'weeding out the ones not worth it', if they show me disrespect on here...they're not worth a second thought because if that's a hint of how they'll treat me in person...no thanks.
      The people who *do* show me respect (they stand out on here because its few and far between)....they are the ones well worth my time :)
      Oh, and yes, there's nothing like oldschool respect..love it, appreciate it, its a turnon for me!

  • butterflylady69
    More than a month ago

    Manner cost nothing! Yay or nay just be honest it is the the best for everyone always.

  • Mischeviouslad Photo
    More than a month ago

    Ive known a few emotionally unavailable women.... but I don't see that term. ?

    More than a month ago

    Is it so hard just to be upfront & honest?????
    Really just grow the fuck up and say it how it is NO GAMES!!!

    • Leolady727
      More than a month ago

      This, unfortunately, seems to be impossible for some men!

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      And may I say, for some ladies as well! (not directed at you Leolady)

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      Works both ways :(

  • Leolady727
    More than a month ago

    Ghosting is very common - usually men who are too gutless to just say they're no longer interested. Had this happen to be a couple of years ago - he & I had been talking on the phone every night, had met up a few times, many things in common and he suddenly just vanished. I honestly thought he might have had an accident, until I saw him reply to a mutual friend's comment on Facebook :-). Found out about 18 months later that he had met someone else - didn't have the manners to tell me! I would have been fine with it - I knew he was really looking for a relationship, whereas I was not.

    • Account Closed
      More than a month ago

      Yes, I don't understand why people cannot just say it like it is.
      Only shows me they have no integrity.
      A friend of mine says we want the Hollywood ending, I disagree I just want manners of times past.

  • Lokilokiloki
    More than a month ago

    U often wonder what will happen when we run out of words to make up lol

  • lollysaresweet
    More than a month ago

    Its interesting...we learn something new everyday..
    Thank You...

  • GentlemanWolf
    More than a month ago

    Good article...interestingly so common that there are words for these behaviours

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