7 Things You Should Never Put In Your Vagina

amm_blog364_header668x334

The vagina is an awesome machine. It can do some pretty remarkable things, like expand up to 200%, create pleasure like nothing you've ever known, and it can even clean itself.

It's super important to look after it properly, and while it's a lot of fun to experiment with sex and toys and all sorts of fun stuff there are some things you should never stick up there. 

Douches

The news about douching is slowly getting around, but I still come across people who either don't know it's bad or don't think it's that bad so they don't really care, because they think there are some sort of benefits to be gained from it. Bottom line is, there isn't. There is absolutely no reason ever for you to douche your vagina. It will not clean it or refresh it, it will do the exact opposite. It will clear out everything. Including all the stuff you need in there to make it healthy. It can cause thrush and bacterial vaginosis as well as drying it out and causing possible tears in the lining. And then there is all the bacteria and nasties you will push up past your cervix into your uterus and possibly fallopian tubes and ovaries. It could lead to infertility, and even death in extreme cases of infection. Just don't do it. If you think your vagina smells (other than natural, normal vagina smells) then it could be a sign of an infection or illness and it's important to talk to a doctor or sexual health professional.

* As a side note, this also goes for having vaginal sex in water. The same effect of pushing water up by a penis can do exactly the same damage.

Fruit n Veg

Yes, we've all heard of the girls who like to play with cucumbers and bananas, and possibly you've seen food porn videos, but it's really not a good idea. No matter how much you wash it, it's never going to totally get rid of the bacteria and foreign particles on it, I mean, the whole banana is a foreign particle in itself!

If you DO really want to play with food then you must always cover it in a condom. I'd suggest double bagging it, just to be on the safe side.

Crappy sex toys

Sex toys are awesome and can be a great part of your sex life, but it is really important to make sure they're made of body-safe materials and that you keep them clean and hygienic with a pH balanced, antibacterial toy cleaner. Because there are no real regulations on toy materials, some companies can get away with mis-naming (or flat out lying) about what their toys are made out of, and making up buzz words and "scientific" claims that aren't true. Remember all toys, unless they're made of metal or glass, are porous and will harbour germs and nasties, even good quality silicone isn't perfect. Anything see-through is NOT silicone, no matter what the box says, and really shouldn't be used much longer than six months or so, even with regular cleaning. When buying toys it's always good to do your research and talk to the experts so you know you're getting the best thing for your bits. 

Perfumes and Scents

Look, I don't know how many times and in how many articles I need to say it, but I will keep saying it til I never have to ever again... A vagina is supposed to smell like a vagina. It isn't supposed to smell like patchouli or strawberries. The chemicals that are in perfumes can do some really nasty damage to the soft membranes of the vagina and outer labia and vulva, including even burning them! Again, if your vagina smells unpleasant, like fish or dirty water, then it means there is something wrong and you need to go to a doctor. If you are sleeping with someone who does not like the smell of vagina, then my suggestion is to find someone else to sleep with.

Anything Alive

It's rare, but it does happen, that someone has heard the Richard Gere and the gerbil story or something similar and wants to give it a try vaginally. 

Don't. Just... Don't. Anally either. There's not much else I can say to this one except it is cruel to the animal and highly dangerous to your bits.

Just don't.

Tongs

I don't know many women who haven't had the “OMG the condom came off and it's stuck and I can't get it out” panic. It happens to the best of us, and with sponges too (a stringless tampon that allows you to have non-bloody period sex), but never ever EVER use anything to get it out other than your fingers. If it takes a while to find, or you really think it's too far up to retrieve manually, then you must go to a doctor to get it out. I have heard some of the most horrific stories of vaginal and cervical damage done because someone tried to retrieve a lost condom with a pair of BBQ tongs. Please, for the love of your vag, please go to the doctor.

Anything Straight from the Butt

Whether you've enjoyed anal sex, or anal play with toys, before you go putting whatever it was in the butt into the vagina you need to make sure it is absolutely clean! Like washed with antibacterial soap. To avoid long delays in sexual play while you're waiting for the penis or toy to be cleaned, an easier way to avoid this is to use condoms (yes over your toys as well) and change them between anal and vaginal play. The bacteria from your anus can really stuff up the healthy pH balances and cleanliness of the vagina and lead to all sorts of infections and conditions. This also goes for wiping after you go to the loo. ALWAYS wipe front to back, and never the other way round. 

If you look after your vagina, and keep her free from chemicals, outside bacteria, and foreign nasties, she will stay happy and healthy and clean with nothing getting in the way of the orgasms and pleasure she (and you) deserves!

57 Comments

justforfun558
More than a month ago
I had a couple of bad experiences with fruit, vegs and toys. After having to go to the doc a few times, the doc said NEVER put any fruit or veg up your vagina without a condom, as the acid in the fruit or veg will burn like crazy.... and so I found out....the hard way lol. Also, forget these spectrum toys from the adult shop. A friend of mine wanted to play doctor/patient and put this spectrum up me like when you get a pap smear, so he could see inside me. All was well until the next day when I had blood in my urine and excruciating pain. To my humility, I had to go to a doctor (not my normal GP), and he said my bladder was bruised and I had to go on antibiotics for 2 weeks and no sex for two weeks. He asked me how this happened and I had to tell him....(that was the humility part lol). He said don't do it again haha.
JustLookin022
More than a month ago
Lol. You did mean speculum I gather? spectrum toys are usually toys for kids in the autism spectrum. Although I noticed their is a spectrum boutique selling adult crystal sex toys. Disposable speculum a nice way of looking if curious but can pinch nastily if not done right . Got to see different cervix's at a workshop once, takes a bit of mystery of the subject and how different every one is.
Thank you for sharing.
justforfun558
More than a month ago
Hi JustLookin022....haha... yes meant speculum
Beautycouple
More than a month ago
Oh i douche a bit as post-op trans female ... my vagina needs to be clean inside
DeliciousEva
More than a month ago
That's actually a really interesting and informative piece of advice I didn't actually think of, and will look further into.
Thank you for bringing it up.
I should definitely be more aware of handcrafted vaginas too. :)

Something for my to do list.
:)
wildOATSsexyMOM
More than a month ago
Lol have reefed thru most of the comments and geez wot a good laugh I got. I do think its a bit sad when people start slagging each other off though. Im pretty strait but have come to have some new and fab experiences thru my partner and this site. My acceptance and tolerance of different sexualitys and practices has increased sexponentially.
Have a firm belief that as long as everyone consents to wotever style of play u are into then enjoy. Ok not all encounters are perfect. But in the words of oneAussie songster Kamal "why are people so unkind"? Think I'll keep my rose coloured glasses firmly planted on. Try and treat others how u would like to be treated and I'm sure that statement will draw a few funny comments. Ciao
2beingfree
More than a month ago
I agree with you
JustLookin022
More than a month ago
Sexponentially.Lol
Have to add that to my vocab.
Yes some comments can be ,insensitive, don't know if it is just me, but seems to be mostly men. No wonder we get such a bad rap.
plasticmonkey
More than a month ago
A few months back I was watching a tv show on foxtel late one night . It was a rather tacky show called something along the lines of "weird ways people have died" and there was a poor lass who decided to pleasure herself with the aid of a carrot , which caused a tear in the vaginal wall and she died (bled to death from memory) . So everybody please be careful and play safe !
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
Died? Really??...... I bet her eyesight was spot on though! Hahh
Kandie589
More than a month ago
I watched that too. 1000 ways to die
Summernights069
More than a month ago
Kandie589 maybe watch it together sometime.great show
TEN4YOU
More than a month ago
Seriously , I believe more articles should be written here on diseases and the recent statistics on rises in HIV , Hepatitis and other sexually transmitted threats . In an attempt to satisfy our lust lets not overlook our health . We should act responsibly and take precautions . There is a lack of education on how easily we can become infected , it only takes one moment to ruin our life and AMM should print more articles on safe sex than on how to have sex . I think most can manage the latter .
AMM.Editor
More than a month ago
We started publishing articles about safe sex and sexual health back in January 2011 and there is a wealth of information available on the internet for anyone who cares to look. Perhaps check out our Q&A section for our most recent posts. Also please keep in mind that the advice we offer on the blog is not intended to replace professional medical advice and people should rely on appropriately trained and qualified medical professionals when it comes to maintaining their sexual health. And of course we are all adults here so old enough to take responsibility for our bodies and our actions.
DeliciousEva
More than a month ago
I have been informed by a few people that I have missed a very important "nasty" to keep out of your vagina, and I have to say I completely agree.

Misogynistic, mens rights activist, entitled, sexist douchebags.

So basically Trump.
Keep Trump and Trump-esque people as far away from your bits as possible.
:)
Occupado
More than a month ago
agreed.
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
But you secretly love them.
;)
Trumpslide incoming. The Trumptrain has no brakes!
Make Pussy Great Again 2016
Leolady727
More than a month ago
Well said, Eva (as usual). AND, also as usual, Mr Showercurtain has weighed in with his egregious misogyny.
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
Ah,"shower curtain"...now I get it.
Look again, LL. Things are not as you discern.
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
"Egregious misogyny"? Where?
Is the word pussy offensive... on a post about vaginas?
Lol
petite.rocket
More than a month ago
Fantastic. Exactly what I needed this week.I recently spotted some possible misogynistic traits in a new fwb and playfully called him a mini trump. This lead to being angrily called a man hater etc etc. He's certainly not welcome anywhere near my pleasure centre again!!
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
I keep SJWs at arms length.
Tells include tattoos,coloured hair,working in any grievance related field.
Never stick your dick in crazy,gentlemen.
It's just not worth it.
Great trolling opportunities though. The special snowflakes are easily triggered.
Happy hunting.
NLindsayfan
More than a month ago
I would suggest anyone who Trumpets his sexual prowess and endowment size should also be barred from the babe.
Summernights069
More than a month ago
Hahaha.
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
I could say one group o men but i would get kicked off the site and called abigotand an *****aphobe
1HanDSolo
More than a month ago
Privateer76 just doesn't get it does he!
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
Oh, I get it fine,HanSolo.
There's a film you should see...The Red Pill...
Oh wait,you can't, because SJWs like Eva have shut it down at Palace Cinemas.
Thought crimes on film! Free speech for me,not for thee. Check it out,let the scales fall from your eyes.
Take the Red Pill.
A man shouldn't fear the Truth. As unpalatable as it is. Truth is good for your Game too.
DeliciousEva
More than a month ago
Oh look, it's Privateer. Once again displaying both his rather odd obsession with me, and his complete lack of knowing anything about me whatsoever.
Tis a strange combination, I must say.

For the record... As much as I find MRAs to be mostly whinging little crybabies hysterically clutching desperately at the teats of privilege they're convinced the feminists are trying to steal, I have absolutely no interest in silencing or censoring or banning anything they have to say, bar direct calls for, and inciting, violence (which is the same way I feel about censorship etc of any organisation or movement or whatever).
Please do try not to put words or actions or philosophies into my mouth. It makes you look incredibly stupid and a little bit desperate.
:)

Leolady727
More than a month ago
I LOVE you, Eva
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
hysterically clutching desperately at the teats of privilege they're convinced the feminists are trying to steal,


Lol!
I agree with you that "MRA's are crybabies". It's a very female response so I think it's a dead end.
A man doesn't whine. He takes control of his own life and the outcomes.
Personal responsibility. Not something most women are familiar with.
Love your style,Eva...let's get a drink.
I'll be the handsome,well-built guy in the white Trump 2016 tee. Hard to miss ;)
DeliciousEva
More than a month ago
Thank you for the offer, but I must decline.
Rampant misogyny and an over inflated sense of importance and relevance are big red flags that make my skin crawl, my shackles go up, and my vagina clamp shut like a vice.
But hey... Pretty sure you knew that.

Learn how to speak to women. Learn how to listen to women.
Just... Grow up a bit eh.

Have a nice weekend.

Leolady727
More than a month ago
Eva - I don't know if you read The Age, but Annabel Crabb wrote an interesting column on "The Red Pill" (following comments made by our departed, but hardly missed friend, Privateer) entitled "I couldn't swallow the over-hyped Red Pill" She pointed out that, despite claiming to address rape culture, the film-maker NEVER asks any of the men interviewed about rape. Annabel concluded "Banning or silencing this movie is not only daft, it also generates pretty much the only effective PR the thing could hope for"
DeliciousEva
More than a month ago
An enema/anal will get rid of visible nasties, sure.
It won't get rid of the harmful bacteria and microscopic germs that can make you sick. Even something like gastro.

Like I always say, each to their own... Just be aware of the risks and don't assume you're (or anyone you fuck is) "clean".
All it takes is one moment... One experience... One germ to ruin your day.


allinmymind
More than a month ago
Gastro you can survive without the doctor, vaginal infection no. An untreated one can damage your kidneys. It also is very painful.
DeliciousEva
More than a month ago
Well sure. A scraped knee is better than a broken leg... But avoiding both is optimal.
I merely mentioned it because it's a huge possibility.
And, in saying that, gastro has killed people before so it's not harmless. And spending a day or so spraying liquid from both ends of your body is a hell of a price to pay for a moment of Ass to Mouth pleasure isn't really a fair trade.
Regardless of if you need a doctor or not.
:)
misssapiosexual
More than a month ago
yes DeliciousEva - i totally agree.
Anyone who is totally inconsiderate about the ill health effects of an act of 'pleasure' is not worth pleasuring in my opinion
misssapiosexual
More than a month ago
I knew most of this but seriously guys need to know atv (ass to vagina) is not a done thing and don't even get me started on atm (ass to mouth) omgwtf hell no - never
buxombitch
More than a month ago
Sorry guys but sucking off a guy fresh from your ass is the hottest thing there is. Before anal I do a complete flush with an enima so it's completely clean. It's rare to find a women that will do an as to mouth but the quality of cock I get, trust me it's worth it.
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
Buxom each to their own , but to me , even a good enema before can leave little nasties behind (behind ?? Ha ha no pun intended).
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
no doubt *BuxomBitch* has just been hotlisted out of this world! haha
DeliciousEva
More than a month ago
An enema/anal will get rid of visible nasties, sure.
It won't get rid of the harmful bacteria and microscopic germs that can make you sick. Even something like gastro.

Like I always say, each to their own... Just be aware of the risks and don't assume you're (or anyone you fuck is) "clean".
All it takes is one moment... One experience... One germ to ruin your day.
allinmymind
More than a month ago
Quality of cock, as in the excitement level of the cock?
maid_in_melb
More than a month ago
Yes but buxombitch likes being told what to do and humiliated. Works in the health industry too... And she says it's clean. *rolls eyes*
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
Anything anal makes me want to barf. Pussy = perfect.
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
yes , don't go mixing holes people!
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
Buxombitch I just not sure about you :)
TheTeacher420
More than a month ago
Trolls ... Trolls everywhere .................

Buxombitch screw the haters, do what you like & let the prudish trolls enjoy their missionary position.

For the record I'm not saying whether I would or would not do it, that's not the point. :)
Leolady727
More than a month ago
Teacher, just because someone disagrees does not make them a troll. Personally, I feel very sorry for Buxombitch - I find it sad that someone has such low self esteem and no respect for their body :-(
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
Leolady, how dare you judge someone so harshly for what they may desire in the bedroom.... You have NO idea of the woman's life outside the bedroom! She very well could be the head of some government body that likes to blow off a little steam between consenting adults in her own private time occasionally I'm shaking my head at the thought that a fellow sister could even assume that about another.... even more so when that 'another' is on a sex site! Who need enemies when they have friends that! No wonder women have so many complexes, FFS start uplifting each other!! This site would be a better place if more did!!
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
and shame of AMM's approval department for even allowing LEOLADY's comment....Absolutely disgraceful! It's almost cyber bullying if you want to start pulling those cards..... Imagine if that come from a male, there'd be an uproar! I'm sure BuxomBitch is strong enough & has the decency to let it slide like water off a ducks back without retaliating.
Who would've thought that the one place where someone could be their true selves sexually gets thrown under a bus for doing just that! Hang your head in shame Leolady.
buxombitch
More than a month ago
Poor Leolady727
On this site at your age.
Good luck hunny ??
Leolady727
More than a month ago
Not hanging my head in shame at all - I'm entitled to my opinion, surely, and I DO find it quite sad that a person has so little self-respect.

The comment about my age I find laughable - do you think people just give up sex when they turn 40?
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
I'm not sure I'd do it from a health perspective :)
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
Excellent. Now this blog is getting interesting!
Good work guys :)
Account Closed
Account Closed
More than a month ago
Leolady you are entitled to an opinion but you are ' opinionated ' :)

Who says she has no self respect ???, that's an assumption just like the o Rs you make about me :)

Maybe shut your mouth, clearly you weren't taught if you have nothing nice to say don't bother :)

Ohhhhh and I'm rather nice with an exceptional pussy :)
Leolady727
More than a month ago
Melody considering I'm not even a "blimp" on your radar (yes, still chuckling over that) you seem to spend an inordinate amount of time critiquing my posts.

"Opinionated" ? Perhaps but, as far as I'm aware, that's not illegal ;-)
JustLookin022
More than a month ago
Lol, that what atv is, I only knew it as All Terrain Vehicle. I suppose some guys do think it is an ATV or a weapon. Thought I knew almost everything, seems I have a lot to learn. Thank you Hornyandcheeky and AMM .
Copyright © 2017 Eva Sless
It is illegal to use any or all of this article without the expressed, written permission from Adult Match Maker and the author. If you wish to use it you must publish the article in its entirety and include the original author, plus links, so that it is clear where the content originated. Failure to do so will result in legal action being taken.