Multiple orgasms. That elusive, although much talked about, phenomenon of erotic novels and Cosmo-esque sex columns. Are they real? Can anyone achieve one? What does it even mean? Some women have a hard enough time reaching just one orgasm, so the thought of a multiple wave of overlapping pleasure to many seems like a myth, a made up story with echoes of “The fish was THIS big!”
I can tell you, from my own personal experience, that yes, they do exist. However, I can also tell you, from personal experience, that they are not always easy to reach and are not something that happens every time you orgasm. And I can also tell you there are a few different kinds of orgasms that could be identified as “multiple” so the whole thing is a rather confusing mix of myth, fact, your own personal experience, and your own expectations of what it will be like.
There are three main types of orgasms that can be construed as “multiple” and, like I said, they can all be tricky to achieve and be different for each individual.
The One After Another
This is where you reach the peak of orgasm, let it flow, let your body relax again, and then, before you've really got your breath back, become stimulated again to reach another.
The All Over Orgasm
This is when you've reached the peak of a great orgasm and, even though you're not re-stimulated, your whole body still feels the effects and shivers with small movements. Like, you squeeze your legs together and the pleasure runs through you again. Or your skin is touched and each nerve ending fills with shivery pleasure throughout.
The Rolling Continuing Orgasm
This is probably the one most talked about in books and sex columns and the one that is the hardest to achieve. Basically you reach that peak of orgasm and before you get to that come-down stage, another peak is reached, then another and another until your body is just a mess of sensations and orgasmic pleasure.
As tricky as they are to master, there are a few things you can do to try and maximise your potential. The main thing, though, is to not get so caught up in the want to achieve one, because it can make the whole experience a let down, and that's something sex and sexual pleasure should never be.
The key to strong orgasms is a strong pelvic floor. The kegel muscles are the ones that tense and contract when orgasming and so the stronger those muscles are, the stronger your orgasms will be and the more likely they'll be to repeat the process. Ben-Wah balls and weighted duo balls are some of the best sex-essories to have on your side. The clenching of your vagina muscles around them is the best way to strengthen them without having to think that much about it and, using balls like these every couple of day for around 10-15 minutes will have your kegels strong and primed for action within just a few weeks.
Whether you come from clitoral or vaginal stimulation, a good vibrator can be an essential part of learning how to come over and over. The main reasons are that firstly a vibrator will not get tired and lose concentration like your own fingers or a partner may do (this is by no means a slight on your partner, but just an observation that these things can take a lot of time and effort, especially when you're just learning how to reach them and you really need consistency) and secondly, a vibrator with multiple speeds and pulse functions can be exactly what you need to change up the sensations at just the right time to get over that peak again. Play with your vibrator and let yourself come then, if you're not too sensitive keep the vibrator going. Try and pass the “don't-touch-me-don't-touch-me” sensation that often comes after orgasm and try and focus just on the pleasure. If your toy has multiple settings it can be a good idea to up the speed or change the pulse slightly. This changes the information being sent to the part of the body you're stimulating and can help by-pass the body's usual reaction to orgasm which is for the muscles to stop contracting and relax back to their rest position.
These really can work. There are a lot of arousal gels on the market and some will work better than others, and some people will react differently to them depending on the ingredients. Most of them (although not all) contain some sort of menthol or peppermint which activates the nerves in the clitoris to be heightened and therefore more sensitive. Others work in ways that open up the blood vessels within the clitoral area, increasing blood flow and therefore making the area fuller, easier to find and more sensitive to touch. They can work by allowing your body to stay sensitive and aroused even after orgasm, therefore making it easier to reach the next peak.
There are many different brands of these but the ones I would recommend to try would be the Clitoral Arousal Gels and Volt Pods by System Jo and the Clitoral Drops by On! Arousal. They can be slightly pricey, depending on where you buy them from, but they really can help in the whole process.
One of the things that research has shown to be the biggest failings in women's abilities to orgasm (even just once) is the over-thinking, over-worrying thing that our brains do that can often drown out the rest of our body. You need to be completely relaxed and aware of your surroundings. If your kids are due home from school in an hour that's what your brain will keep going to. If there's a lot of distracting background noise it will be hard to stay focussed. Relax in a bath, or in a nice dark bedroom. Put on some music that relaxes you. Turn off the TV, the washing machine, your phone. Take time out just for you and your orgasm.
I really want to stress, though, that a multiple orgasm, no matter how amazing and “must-have” the magazines and websites tell you they are, is not the be all and end all of sex. The entire journey of a sexual experience is what is important. The personal well-being of your own body and mind that comes from being in tune with your sexuality is a far greater pay-off. So don't focus too much weight on it. See if you can, that's always fun to try, but if you can't you are by no means any less of a woman or a sexual being. You are just human, and part of the beauty of the entire human race is that we are all different, and do things in our own way.