It’s no secret that single women are the hardest to come by in the swinging lifestyle and being a minority, they are the ones who are in the highest demand. Many couples want to have that second female to fulfil on either the man’s fantasy of having women to himself, or for the woman to explore or fulfil her bi-side. So there are some things you should know and understand if you are to find and attract a single female playmate to join you in fulfilling your fantasies.
Above all else, keep in mind that she has the bulk of the power! With so many single guys and couples competing for her, she is the one who determines who gets to spend time with her and who doesn’t but not only do you have to stand out in order to get the first invitation, you have to be extraordinary to get additional invitations.
And how do you get her to open that door? I’m so glad you asked, since this is the total point of writing this article huh.
What I’m about to tell you is insider information having had regular single female playmates as well as being the single woman for others. Just keep in mind that this is not for ALL women as there are always exceptions to the rules (we women can be complicated), but this is a great place to start…
- Stand out! You have to be different to every other Tom, Dickhead and Harry hanging around. You stand out by the way you approach and treat her… Too keen and too pushy are complete turn offs so don’t pressure her to give you her phone number or meet up with you, and don’t hang around her like a lost puppy dog waiting for any scrap of attention she may throw to you. Unless she’s looking for a sub (submissive) whom she can be a Dom for but that’s a whole other kind of playmate/relationship.
- Be interested and make an effort to get to know her so you can build rapport. The best way to build rapport, which gets you a phone number (and more) is to ask open-ended questions (i.e. no yes or no questions, or single answer questions), such as “tell me/us why you are a part of the lifestyle…” and then find the commonalities you have that you can share “me/us too…” Oh and don’t ramble when she asks you a question, answer her questions succinctly then keep the conversation coming back to her with more open ended questions, you are more likely to keep her interest if you do.
- Find out her fantasies and desires and aim to fulfill those too. She may have fantasies which you can help her fulfill if you take the time to find out what they are, in detail. Most women don’t want to think they’re just a toy; purely for someone else’s pleasure and then just tossed aside when the job is done.
- Give her control so she can feel safe; allow her to lead the pace and the way. Let her determine where and when you meet and play, as well as set any boundaries or safety nets she chooses. She may decide to let her best friend know where she is going and who she’s with during your date time, please don’t get offended or upset, she is just making sure she’s protecting herself as she doesn’t have a partner to create that safety.
- If you want her to keep coming back once you’ve had a play night, be sure to continue to include her until she leaves. Rolling over and enjoying your post play afterglow with your back to her may leave her feeling used. Debrief with her about the experience and encourage her honesty and input so she has the opportunity to voice what she loved but also what could be done “next time” to “enhance” the experience for her. This presupposes there is more fun to be had so do your best to wow her!
Ultimately it’s always nice to feel special and included and if she is coming into an established couple she needs to feel safe physically, emotionally and mentally.
Oh and it doesn’t hurt to treat her like a princess, be prepared by having her favourite drink (alcoholic or non) ready and waiting for her when she arrives, perhaps her favourite snacks or dinner on the menu, and offer to give her a massage to start things off… Who doesn’t want to be treated like royalty in some way occasionally?!