Picture this: you’re staring down at your phone, agonising over whether “Hey! How’s your week going?” is coolly casual or the textural equivalent of plain toast, all because you finally mustered up the courage to message that absolute babe you spotted on Adult Match Maker. In a moment of panic, you turn to the one entity that always responds instantly, never judges you, swears it understands you, and has definitely never experienced a romantic connection in its life: ChatGPT.

Welcome to modern dating, where people are crowd-sourcing their loves lives from an algorithm that has never once had a crush, been in love, been ghosted or heartbroken.

And it’s not just you. A survey from AI relationship app Meeno found that a whopping 86% of Australians aged 18-34 have turned to ChatGPT or Google for dating and relationship advice, and 25% specifically named ChatGPT as their go-to guy. Men, apparently, are leading the AI-consultation charge, with 41% of them using ChatGPT for dating dilemmas, compared with 15% of women.

So yes, people are definitely asking AI whether to text their ex. But, should they?

The Case For Using ChatGPT (A Little Bit, With Caution)

Look, I’m not going to pretend ChatGPT is useless. In some cases, it really can help you feel less stuck and loosen the mental knots. Just treat it like a whiteboard for your dating dilemmas, not a therapist who understands you.

If you’re spiraling about how to phrase something, AI might be able to help you map out some options. It may be able to help you organise your thoughts, come up with some communication strategies and give you a rough sense of how your message might land.

Need a more confident way to phrase a tricky text? Want a breakup message that doesn’t come across as clinically sterile? 

Apparently 400,000 Australians have downloaded the app RIZZ which functions as an "AI wingman" that can help you with online conversations with matches by crafting witty and engaging replies based on your communication style. So although ChatGPT or RIZZ might be able to help you shape the wording. Just don’t expect them to understand the emotional nuance or history behind it. 

The Case Against Using ChatGPT (Even if You’re in a Crisis)

ChatGPT does not understand human nuance

The AI has never had a crush. Never experienced the ick. Never cried in the shower after someone it was dating said “I’m not ready for a relationship” and then immediately announced they were in a relationship with someone else on Instagram three days later.

AI doesn’t know you or your dating history. It doesn’t know what makes you tick, your ex’s anxious attachment issues, or the ins and outs of your complicated situationship, no matter how many words you feed it.

ChatGPT isn’t always right

The thing about AI is that its “advice” doesn’t always line up with how real people actually think or behave. Studies have shown that when it comes to dating and relationship dilemmas, ChatGPT can be a bit random. You might ask it the same question three times and walk away with three totally different answers. If you’re already feeling fragile or confused, this kind of unpredictability can make things even murkier. You’d be better off getting your dating advice from a fortune cookie.

ChatGPT is the ultimate people pleaser

Anyone who’s used ChatGPT knows the AI is the ultimate yes-man. It tries to be encouraging, supportive and endlessly helpful, which sounds lovely until you realise it might actually be validating your worst ideas, instead of challenging them.

The reality is, AI is never going to call you out or give you the uncomfortable truth. It’s far more likely to accidentally feed your delusions because its job is to agree, not guide you the way a friend or therapist would. It doesn’t have your best interests at heart, it just wants to keep the conversation going, even if that means cheering on choices you’ll later regret.

It can stunt your own emotional development

If you outsource every difficult conversation, tricky text or looming conflict to AI, you’re robbing yourself of the very skills real relationships require. Emotional intelligence grows through practice, not delegation!

Lean on ChatGPT too much and dating becomes a feedback loop: you think something, AI packages it into a neat little sentence, you feel validated, and suddenly you’re convinced you’re a dating mastermind - even if you’re actually just recycling your own ideas with extra punctuation.

And the less you exercise your own judgment, the harder it gets to navigate dating in the real world. You can’t exactly pull out your phone mid-date and whisper, “ChatGPT, help! She just asked me a question and I need your help answering it!” Well, technically you could, but congratulations, that date just ended before the entrée arrived.

AI lacks emotional experience

ChatGPT has never been in love. Never been dumped. Never stared at a “seen” message for six hours while spiralling into an existential crisis. It has no lived experiences. No memories, no heartbreak and no messy lessons learned the hard way.

Sure, it can mimic empathy, but it doesn’t actually feel anything. So when you’re asking it for emotional support, all you’re really getting is a very sophisticated simulation.

And in dating, isn’t human connection kind of the entire point?

How to Use ChatGPT as a Tool for Dating

If you’re determined to bring AI into your love life, at least use it wisely.

• Be specific with your prompts: Vague questions get vague, useless answers.
• Question the advice: You don’t have to accept everything ChatGPT says as gospel. Push back. Disagree. No one knows you better than you know you.
• AI won’t save you from discomfort: Growth comes from leaning into the hard stuff, not outsourcing it. Awkward feelings are part of life and no algorithm is going to protect you from that.
• Go to humans for the real, messy, personal stuff: Your friends, your family, your therapist - they have context. They know your patterns, your history, your blind spots. Their hearts have been bruised, broken and healed. Real people will get you in a way AI simply never will.

So, Should You Use ChatGPT for Dating Advice?

The honest truth is that you’re better off not relying on it.

Not for the big decisions. Not for the messy, emotional bits. Not for the moments where you need someone who can look you dead in the eye and say, “Babe… do NOT respond your ex’s breadcrumb. You deserve more than the bare minimum.”

You can use ChatGPT to organise your thoughts or spark ideas, sure. That’s harmless. But don’t outsource your emotional intelligence to the algorithm.

Dating is real, messy, raw, exhilarating, and heartbreaking. It’s all about trying, failing, learning and adjusting. AI won’t save you from making mistakes, and honestly, you shouldn’t want it to.

Rejection is redirection, and heartbreak teaches you things no bot ever will. Unfortunately, the only way to get better at dating is to actually date.

So, if you do choose to consult ChatGPT anyway, remember that at the end of the day, the heart wants what it wants, and ChatGPT has no idea what that is.

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