Is your bedroom killing your sex life?

A man in his pyjamas sitting on his bed amongst clutter in a messy bedroom

There are so many things which can influence our sex life - libido, health, age - but there is something else to consider … is your bedroom killing your sex life?

I can recall a particularly steamy encounter where, after a few glasses of wine and intense flirting, we went back to his place and literally left clothes strewn in the hall as we headed towards his bedroom. The night was memorable but so was stepping over mounds of clothes, cereal bowls, pizza boxes and records strewn on the floor. I was so stressed getting up in the dark to pee in case I stepped on, or in, something. 

So let’s talk about how your bedroom could be killing your sex life.

Clear away the clutter

Clutter gets in the way of creating a sexy, seductive bedroom space. In fact a UCLA study found that women who saw clutter in their homes had increased levels of cortisol, the stress hormone which can lead to a lower libido. 

And it doesn’t matter if you live with someone, have a regular fuckbuddy who enjoys sharing pizza in bed, or you’re hosting partners for casual sex … if you want better sex or repeat performances, then clean up your act. Put aside an afternoon to Marie Kondo the shit out of your bedroom.  If you need inspiration check out Eva’s article on How to Marie Kondo Your Sex Life.

Make up your bed with fresh sheets

There’s nothing sexier than slipping into a bed made up with clean crisp sheets. It’s like a weekend away at an upmarket hotel. A Mecca poll found that clean sheets was high on the list for guys when it came to getting in the mood for sex. And the US National Sleep Foundation found that 75% of people are more excited about going to bed when the sheets have a fresh scent. 

So if you’re living with someone, get into the habit of changing the sheets regularly or for those casual hookups spend 10mins pre-date to strip the bed and change the covers. Your hook up date will thank you … Bonus points for high thread count sheets. 

Create a sensual atmosphere 

Dimming the lights might seem romantic but it can have the opposite effect on your libido. In Italy the University of Siena found that bright light boosted the testosterone in men who had low sexual desire. But overhead lighting can be harsh so consider a lower wattage globe, a warm or soft light globe or utilise side lamps to create atmosphere.  

And instead of mood lighting think about oil diffusers and scented candles to instantly create a welcoming vibe. 

Get the tech out of your bedroom

Electronics are addictive and distracting. And I am the first one to admit guilt as my first priority in the morning is checking notifications. Wherever possible leave phones and tablets outside the bedroom or place them upside down on silent to try to block those flashes which can wake us up or distract us. 

And stop watching movies or streaming services in bed! In fact leaving the bed for sleeping and sex will help improve your sleep quality and almost every study has found that those who watch TV in their bedroom get laid less often.

Create a private space

If you share a house whether with mates, parents, children or pets no one wants to be interrupted in the middle of having sex. So make sure you can lock the door for 100% privacy and put the dog bed, and the dog, in another room if sex is on the agenda. 

Now we’re not all in a position to create our own sex room like the Netflix show but there’s nothing from stopping you from working with what you’ve got to declutter, re-organise and get under the covers for some sexy fun.


  • badthoughts63
    Online status icon


    More than a month ago

    Everybody loves my medieval 4 poster bed. It’s only a copy , not original but geez it works lol

  • GeorgeNMildred


    More than a month ago

    You can add completely dark rooms to that list. Nothing sexy about having to constantly fumble around, lol.

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