The jealousy that’s not really talked about in the Swinging scene is when it’s the playmate/s that get jealous or possessive.
Jealousy is often talked about in this lifestyle when it comes to the couple and their relationship with each other, they can’t be jealous or possessive with their partner in order to swing and enjoy the fun, but the jealousy that’s not really talked about where it’s the playmate/s that get jealous or possessive. Yes, it’s true!
I’ve seen it a few times now where playmates, be it a single person or another couple, get jealous or possessive when their favourite toys are off playing with someone new or, if they are in a group situation they get upset because the person they want to play with is engaged in fun with someone else.
Sometimes it’s the “I/we met them first” kind of deal, and sometimes it’s just “but I/we really want to play with them!” This is not a jealousy that I ever expected to come across in this lifestyle but I’ve seen it, and experienced it in various forms.
I have to admit that there have been times where I’ve wanted some playmates to myself for a bit, or I’ve seen them with someone and wished they were with me. Not to the point where I got upset or it ruined my night but I have seen other people get jealous and it has made what was supposed to be a fun, free-loving experience, turn into a night of drama and tears. There’s no fun in that and you need to watch out for the signs.
Some of the signs you may encounter are:
- Comments that suggest they feel like they are “missing out” on time with you.
- Persistence to spend more time with them, bordering on being demanding.
- Anger, frustration or other negative emotions displayed when you tell them you’re catching up with someone else.
- And even blatant comments to others suggesting that you are theirs.
Now this doesn’t just happen with single playmates. While most couples are fine with their partners, there are times where it’s both people in the couple that get jealous or possessive of their playmates; joint jealousy! I’m serious, this happens and all you can do is to decide if you are that keen on them that you are ok with being more exclusive or if you need to distance yourselves and find new playmates (which there are plenty of).
In this lifestyle, no matter who you are, you can’t get precious when it comes to your play mates; sometimes they are interested in you and sometimes they aren’t, just move on. Sometimes people you will catch up with often, and some you won’t. Just remember, this is meant to be for fun.
So go in with the intention of enjoying whatever experience eventuates no matter what it happens to be. Be easy-going and grateful for the people you get to meet and play with and that in itself will make you more attractive to potential playmates. There is no room for jealousy in this lifestyle no matter who you are, so if you can’t get past it, time to get some professional help and then come back to the playground where the non-jealous types will be waiting to play with you again.