Masturbation. Once thought of as shaking hands with the devil, is now far more often looked upon as high-fiving yourself, and so it should be. It's fun! It's relaxing. And, as pointed out in a previous piece, is actually really good for your health.
Just having a quick-fix fiddle is fine and all, it does the job and off you go... But there are so many other ways to touch yourself and explore your own body. There are ways to turn yourself on, to tease and please yourself, and also even seduce yourself.
So yes, not only is it great for your health both physically and mentally, but it can also work wonders for your relationships and personal sex life and just your everyday regular life too. Being in tune with your body and your sexuality, knowing what works and what doesn't, being comfortable enough in your own skin to know how it all fits... These are huge parts of having a healthy sexual relationship.
Given that May is Masturbation Month we've come up with a different way to play and pleasure yourself for every single day of the month!
Turn Yourself On
Getting “in the mood” is half the fun!
1. Watch porn
Is there a porn star you love? Or a fantasy you dream of? Have a search online, or go to an adult shop, and find a movie to tickle your fancy. Even if you've never really been into porn, there is something out there that will titillate and tempt you. Half the fun is finding out what it is!
2. Read Erotica
As with porn, reading erotica is a great way to turn yourself on. The great thing about erotica is most of the action is your own imagination, so you can really put yourself into the scene, rather than just watching other people act it out.
3. Sexy Texts
There is something quite exciting and erotic about sending and receiving sexy messages. It could be with your lover, or a friend with benefits, or even completely anonymous. Have a look in the AMM chat rooms and see if you can find a delicious wordsmith to get your motor running.
4. Seductive Screen Time
Porn and texts are all well and good, but what about making and receiving your own porn with someone. That can be highly charged with amazing sensuality and sex! Like with texts and messages you can do it with someone you know, or checkout the AMM video chat rooms! You can put on a mask and be completely anonymous if you like which, to be honest, can be a huge part of the eroticism of video chat masturbation.
5. Still Shots
I love taking selfies. So much so I'm fairly sure I'm a 17 year old trapped inside the body of a not-quite 40 year old. There's something liberating and fun and self-esteeming about taking pics of yourself when you know you're looking on point. And the same can go for making the selfies sexy. You can keep them for yourself or send them on to someone you know and trust (please be aware that once a pic is “out there” it is always out there so do consider being discrete with what you show; face, tattoos, other identifying bits), but just the act of taking them can be a pretty big turn on.
6. Dress to Impress
Turning yourself on doesn't even have to involve technology or outside influences, just the simple act of feeling good in yourself can work wonders. Have you got some sexy underwear or a dress that makes you feel like a goddess, or a suit that makes you feel like a stud? Put it on! Strut your stuff. Be confident and free and aware of your sexuality. The more confident we are in ourselves, the more goodness we bring into our lives, so go ahead. Flirt with yourself! You deserve it, you sexy thing.
The Art of Touch
There are so many ways to explore your own body.
7. Let Your Fingers Do The Walking
Your body is a treasure trove of erogenous zones. When you're touching yourself, let your hands and fingers stray to other parts of your body. Touch your nipples, your face, run your hands gently over your thighs. Discover places that feel good and incorporate them into your play session.
8. Your Favourite Toys!
Sex toys are bloody awesome! And it's pretty rare these days that someone doesn't own one. Have you got a favourite vibrator that hits the right spot every time? What about a masturbation sleeve if you're a guy? Go on. Pull it out of the drawer, lube up and have a play!
9. New toys!!
There are so many new and unique toys out on the market today, and for all genders and all preferences. The female toy market is one of the fastest growing industries on the planet and you'll be surprised what new and exciting buzzing and tickling things there are out there for you. And the same goes for the guys. New innovations and concepts have made waves in the sex toy industry . Go into your local adult shop or have a look online to see what's out there for you.
10. Change Your Toy Preference
- Have you always been a clit chick? What about you guys? Is it just lube and a tug? Why not change it up a bit and play with a toy design or accessory you've not experienced before? If you've always gone for the bullet on the clitoris, change it up and try and internal vibrator. Guys try a cock ring or some warming lube to aid your play. You'll be surprised the pleasure your body is capable of when you mix it up a bit.
11. Two Toys Or More!
Seriously, though. Toys are amazing. They can create the most amazing, new sensations, and give you orgasms you've not experienced before and, just like orgasms, the more the better! Try incorporating an anal plug into your masturbation, or nipple clamps, or a thrusting toy with your clit vibe. Mixing it up and adding new sensations can be mind-blowing! Your erogenous zones will thank you!
12. Go Forth And Multiply
A little easier for the girls, but not impossible for the guys. See how many orgasms you can have in a row. There are a bunch of techniques you can use, including tantric breathing and almost meditation, to allow the climaxes to come over and over. Sex toys and arousal products can help too. Do a bit of research and see if there's a way you could try.
Lubes and Gels and Creams, Oh My!
Did you know there are lotions and potions out there that are specifically designed to make sex and masturbation feel even better?
13. Lube it up!
There are lubes with ingredients in them to warm them up and cool them down and they can add so much fun to your masturbation. They come in all different price ranges, so there's sure to be something that fits into your budget. Have a play with a few different ones and see what a difference they can make.
14. Arousal Gels
These are special gels and oils you can drop onto your clitoris to increase blood flow and arousal. They all have different ingredients in them and some are stronger than others, but they all create different buzzing and tingling sensations on your clitoris and can make your alone time the best time of day!
15. Cream it up
Many adult stores sell penis creams for all sorts of different purposes. There are creams that will lower sensation to help you last longer, there are creams to increase sensation to make things feel even more arousing, and there are creams that will make your cock harder than you ever thought it could be. Go and have a chat to someone in store and see if there's something you can use to enhance your tug time.
Take the time to really pamper yourself and fall in love with your own body and sensations
16. Bath Time Play
Run a long, hot bath. Put in some fragrant oils or soft bubbles. Light candles and put on soft music. Take in a glass of wine... And let the soaking water envelop your senses. Touch yourself and feel the water swirl around between your legs. Let yourself be indulged by you.
17. The All Day Tease
Edging is the act of getting to the point of climax and then not letting yourself get over the hump... Relaxing... And doing it all again. It can be an intense and awesome feeling with someone else, and just as good when you solo play. Using your hands or a sex toy, get yourself to the point of almost no return and then stop. Get up. Go have a cuppa. Do something else. Then do it again. Give yourself a whole day to play and tease... But don't come. Not yet... Not until you just can't take it any more... And then see if you can wait a bit longer. The orgasm you have, when you finally let yourself get there, will be amazing!
18. Treat Yourself
As with some of the above points, looking after yourself and treating yourself to something fun is a great way to build up your self love. Buy yourself some sexy new underwear or a new toy and then go home and play with it. Pose with it. Take pics to send to a lover, or to keep for your own private viewing. The first step in having good loving, is first loving yourself!
19. Pamper Yourself
Like above, but instead of buying a thing, go and buy an experience. A full body massage, a day at a spa, a pedicure or even a new haircut. Make yourself feel great about your body, your skin, your bits. You're worth it, and you deserve it.
20. Close To Your Skin
A lot of people have fetishes and fancies for different materials. Latex, leather, lace and satin. A really cool thing to do is to slip into something like that under your clothes, that no-one will ever know about. Walking around all day, wearing latex knickers or a leather g-string can get you so in the mood for self play you won't be able to think of anything but going home home so you can rip your clothes of and ravish yourself.
Find your O. M. G-Spot!
21. The G-Spot (for girls)
Inside your vagina, not too far in on the front wall, is a little patch of rougher skin which is known as the G-spot. This little area is made of erectile tissue and can create some intense and amazingly orgasmic sensations. It responds best to pressure, and is often needed to be incorporated with other play, so while you're stroking your clitoris have a feel around inside and see if you can find it. Push against it and see what new feelings you can bring. With practice, playing with the G-spot can help women learn how to have internal orgasms and even squirt!
22. The G-Spot (for guys)
Some of the most intense and powerful orgasms a man can have is when his g-spot is stimulated. Now although a lot of men seem to worry about the location of it (it's in your bum) and the connotations of pleasuring it, let me assure you 100%. It does not make you gay. In fact, the only thing that can make you gay is, you know, being gay. So don't miss out on all this pleasure because of a silly idea that anal play makes you homosexual. Using your fingers or a toy, and lots of lube, explore the sensations that can come from playing with your anus. Just the outside can feel great, but stimulating the prostate, which is what the male G-spot is (a few inches in and on the front wall, you'll feel a different texture) can lead to some of the most explosive orgasms you've ever experienced. Play around with different fingers and/or toys. Find the best way to get the most out of it.
23. Hot Stuff!
If you have a toy that is made of glass, pure silicone, or metal, then you can use them to experiment with temperature. Run the toy under the hot tap for a while to warm it up and then have a play. You'll be surprised at the difference in sensation, and how your body reacts to the warmth.
24. Stay Chill!
As above, you can also cool these toys down to give the opposite, although still enjoyable feeling, of temperature. Stick the toy in the fridge or freezer overnight and then use it in your play session. Give yourself a really cool experience!
25. Busting To Come
This is a way to tease and ply that not everyone will get into, but if you're willing to try something new then it can absolutely rock your world. Have a play and try and come when you're busting to go to the toilet. If you feel you may have a small accident while doing this, try it in the shower or put a bunch of towels down. The tight feeling in your bladder, with the sensation of orgasmic contractions can be the ultimate in relief and satisfaction. Especially when you finally let yourself go.
Take it Outside
There are plenty of ways to take your solo play session out of the house without causing distress or offence to others, and without getting yourself arrested.
26. Remote Control
There are a whole bunch of cool sex toys that come with remote controls. Slip one inside your knickers, or inside your body and go for a walk or do the shopping or, if you're brave enough, meet a friend for lunch. Play with the controller in your pocket, and try not to walk into walls or people as you distract yourself with the buttons.
27. Car Fun
There are a few new ranges of sex toys that are powered purely by USB. Basically you plug them into your computer or other USB port and off they go. Did you know the cigarette lighter in your car can be converted to USB? Or most of the new-fangled cars have USB drives already in them. Without being dangerous (I really don't recommend it if you're driving) go and have a play in a car park or at the drive in. You could always do a sneaky USB play at work if you have your own office too.
28. Toilet Play
No, I'm not talking about golden showers or anything like that, I'm taking about sneaking into the toilets at work or while you're out shopping and having a quickie in the booth. Remember to keep noise to a minimum so you don't alert anyone to what you're doing, but done right and it can put a spring in your step for the rest of the day!
Together But Solo
Masturbating and touching yourself when someone else is with you can be incredibly erotic. Just as watching someone else play can be too.
29. Put On A Show
Show your lover exactly how you like to be touched. Tease yourself for them. Touch and stroke your body and get lost in the sensation of you and the pleasure of being admired. It's absolutely delicious!
30. Watch Them
Just like as above, but be the observer. Watch your lover's hands, see where they touch, where they move. Listen to their sounds and see where and what it is they do that makes them lose themselves in the moment. Be present and excited. Talk to them, ask them to show you more. It's a great way to also start delving into your fantasies. Tell them a story while they play and see how much your words and imagination turns them on.
And Finally... Just Love Yourself
31. You Are Your Biggest Turn On
You are a sexy, erotic creature of amazing abilities and unknown pleasure. Take the time to look after yourself, to learn about yourself, to really explore the amazing sexual human that you are. Our bodies and our minds are capable of so much, and the first step in any self growth and learning is to accept and love yourself for who and what you are. If you struggle with this, and believe me, you are not alone if you do, tell yourself every day that you are a glorious sexual person deserving of love and orgasms and just plain amazingness and I promise you will begin to truly believe it. Because it is true. You are.
Happy Playing, my friends. And enjoy Masturbation Month!