Straight women have stopped expecting orgasms (according to a new study)

Woman sitting on the edge of a bed looking disappointed whilst her partner is sleeping

This article was originally published by Metro Co UK 

Straight women have been shortchanged sexually for so long that a new study has found they now officially don’t expect to climax with their partner.

In fact, the ‘orgasm gap’ has widened to such a degree, many have given up on achieving them altogether.

According to a new study, partner gender plays a significant role in how women approach sex. and their likelihood of reaching orgasm.

Building on previous work that found heterosexual women only orgasm 65% of the time during sex (compared to 86% of the time for lesbian women and 95% of the time for heterosexual men) researchers set out to see how women’s partners shape their expectations in the bedroom.

Across two samples, they found ‘women reported significantly higher expectations for clitoral stimulation and orgasm’ with a female partner compared to a male partner.

Essentially, they didn’t expect much input from men on whether they’d climax.

Not only that, it was revealed having a male partner made the women less likely to pursue orgasm themselves – essentially, they’re past caring.

On the contrary, anticipating that a female partner would put the work in to help them reach orgasm gave them motivation to get there regardless. If you believe you can achieve, right?

Kate Dickman, lead author of the study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, commented: ‘If women, or men partnered with women, want to increase their own or their partners’ orgasm, they should create an environment that encourages orgasm pursuit through diverse sex acts, particularly those involving clitoral stimulation.’

While these findings could be seen as negative towards men, co-author Grace Wetzel claims this isn’t the case.

‘The problem is not inherent to men or to being heterosexual, but to the dominant sexual scripts associated with heterosexual sex,’ she said. ‘Sexual scripts are flexible and can be changed.’

The results also shouldn’t be interpreted to suggest orgasm is the be all and end all of a fulfilling sex life; they merely highlight a trend regarding expectation and sexual satisfaction.

In some cases, the issue can be down to men misunderstanding what many cisgender women need to achieve climax.

Duchess Iphie, a sex, intimacy and relationship counsellor, previously told Metro.co.uk: ‘This [the orgasm gap] is due to adults being made to believe that orgasm is achieved through penetration. While penetrative sex can lead to an orgasm for some women, most women will experience an orgasm through clitoral stimulation – AKA oral sex.’

And the responsibility of talking through what works (or doesn’t) falls on both parties, as couples therapist Louis Venter explained: ‘It is important for couples to work together to explore and understand their now combined sexual journey by learning to communicate with not only yourself, but each other.

‘Communicating with a partner requires not only being able to vocalise your feelings, but having a partner that will actively listen, without judgement.

‘When we work on the barriers to communication in the relationship generally, communication within sex will naturally improve – leading to more fulfilment.’

Our resident psych expert also wrote an article on the Orgasm Gap

26 comments

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  • motorcade

    motorcade

    More than a month ago

    This study is a comparison of heterosexual and homsexual (ie lesbian) and bisexual experince with their most recent partner. So the headline is misleading. AND the study is not publically available unless you sign up, so cannot see the sample group.

    Reply
  • Blue262

    Blue262

    More than a month ago

    Don't mind me, just here to see all the comments from men who disagree and are total experts on the female orgasm and sex in general, carry on.

    Reply
  • Zamboon

    Zamboon

    More than a month ago

    Im not really surprised - I think that the difference in expectations between men and women is to blame - the age old complaint that to stop a woman having sex is to marry them holds some water .. there becomes the struggle , no foreplay, not in the mood , kids, daily stresses etc -and the difference in libido between man snd women - in my case I eventually gave up trying and lowered my expectations - this led to the occasional fling , a regular fb, - the home life was quite content but sex became a non entity and divorce the only answer - most of the people on this site are divorced probably for much the same reason as mine - its funny that a lot of these women are now seeking sex when probably they were the ones turned off by sex during marriage ? - I celebrate those couples who have a matched libido and or whatever it takes to have a happy sex life and to those women who arent achieving orgasms then please get your husbands to therapy - the fact that you do want sex is the best thing you just have to tweak something to achieve your satisfaction and I think your husbands will jump at the opportunity - go for it

    Reply
  • GANG.BANG.BOYS.

    GANG.BANG.BOYS.

    More than a month ago

    What a load of rubbish, here is a "new study" for you. Women can not be put into a little group and have some one tell them what they think. Where did they do this study, at a we hate men lesbian festival?

    • AMM.Editor

      AMM.Editor

      More than a month ago

      The link to the study is in the article
      https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/19485506241235235

    • Blue262

      Blue262

      More than a month ago

      Huh. I stopped mentioning studies of any kind in conversations because difficult people question their methodology, or agendas behind them. They can start a conversation I guess, but aren't that great for navigating much. By 'difficult people' I mean those who want to invalidate or shut you down without even engaging with the subject.

    Reply
  • Photos in private gallery

    Playman3333

    More than a month ago

    I always make sure the woman cums 1st and I lick there pussy after wards again

    Reply
  • Jt4570

    Jt4570

    More than a month ago

    This is deeply disturbing and not my experience at all!

    Reply
  • Ryan.1976

    Ryan.1976

    More than a month ago

    Some of these comments are hilarious..
    Just a quick snapshot I guess.? ahaha :D
    Personally I want her cumming all over my face.. My satisfaction cums from her satisfaction ;p

    Reply
  • Photos in private gallery

    Flexible2024

    More than a month ago

    A very important article which highlights a very common issue which, IMHO, has no simple solution; there are so many variables and elements to achieving mutual orgasms it almost seems like an accident when it happens..
    Good communication is a given, however each partner needs to understand their own body
    and what it needs sexually, but also importantly, their partners body and how it works before they can communicate on how to make it work ! It’s common to hear the statement that men don’t understand women, but, again IMHO, their are women that don’t understand, well enough, their own physiology and the many different erogenous zones they have to use to achieve sexual pleasure and having orgasms during sex.
    How and when we get educated and find out about these little mysteries so we can get on with the fun of sex and life is what needs to be discussed, IMHO 😁

    Reply
  • OutdoorEd23

    OutdoorEd23

    More than a month ago

    A lot of these articles on here are getting ridiculous.What evidence are they based on besides the writer’s perceptions?

    • AMM.Editor

      AMM.Editor

      More than a month ago

      In the first line where the words "a new study" are highlighted there is a link to the press release and that page also has a direct link back to the research study which was published on 4 April 2024.

    • PleasureFocus

      PleasureFocus

      More than a month ago

      Snap 👏

    • traverse3

      traverse3

      More than a month ago

      yes - the ultimate self- justification propaganda. someone needs to tell these misandrists - do they realise why so many men go off having affairs...?

    • KinkyGirl101

      KinkyGirl101

      More than a month ago

      @traverse3 are you referring to the research participants or the women on this site who you are trying to hook up with?

    • RedRoman

      RedRoman

      More than a month ago

      lol

    Reply
  • SirGalahazard2

    SirGalahazard2

    More than a month ago

    Maybe they stopped having sex?

    Reply
  • Photos in private gallery

    TravellnMan

    More than a month ago

    It looks like men need to lift their game. I am prepared to do some heavy lifting in this respect.

    Reply
  • Darkstud

    Darkstud

    More than a month ago

    Older women seem to get orgasms when played with their breasts and vagina with attention to the clit more than penetration.
    Wondering if this is true?

    • KinkyGirl101

      KinkyGirl101

      More than a month ago

      Absolutely, the % of women who can orgasm purely thru penetration is low.

    • RedRoman

      RedRoman

      More than a month ago

      very true, even the right words and descriptions can make her very aroused, ive had a women cum in her panties once just from a heated conversation...the mind is the biggest sex organ, ;)

    • Darkstud

      Darkstud

      More than a month ago

      I totally agree. Being nice, friendly, pleasant and confident with a positive attitude during sex enlightens the situation and makes it unforgettable experience.

    • motorcade

      motorcade

      More than a month ago

      Its not about "older women", honestly smh. Real women of ALL AGES are not porn stars. We don't moan while some guy frots us like he's trying to get stain out of the laundry, or goes at it as if we are a sex toy.

    Reply
  • Mal82x

    Mal82x

    More than a month ago

    I’d be interested to see if such studies include the length and strength of the relationship itself? If a woman surveyed, who was perhaps not experiencing orgasm regularly, was in a long term relationship or typically had more partners in shorter relationships or one night stands. I guess my point is the level of commitment and indeed the consequences from said sexual encounters, for both parties, is perhaps greater in a more committed relationship thereby each partner might feel a greater responsibility ‘chasing the dream’ as opposed to just enjoying the sex in the moment regardless of the orgasmic outcome. Do they love each other or are they just fucking each other? This is perhaps where men and women are unique in what they require to reach orgasm. M.

    • motorcade

      motorcade

      More than a month ago

      Lol. The longer people are married the less likely they are to be sexually satisfied if amm is anything to go by. I take your point though (and havent read the "study" as the link isn't hot). More than ever women are confident to know and expect what they need sexually. Maybe the women in this study are all tik toker gen who are cynical about almost everything.

    Reply
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