5 Reasons Swingers are Cool

Two pineapples against a bright aqua background wearing plastic sunglasses in blue & pink to imply they are swingers

1. We Are Team Players

Everyone gets a go and everyone is treated fairly. Organising your local sports team or trying to work out the best way to get everyone involved in a community event? Hire some swingers! They'll organise it all to the Nth degree, make sure everyone has a good time and is as involved as they want to be, and have snacks and juice waiting for you all at the other end. 

2. More Time To Be Cool

Vanilla folk waste a lot of time arguing about the fact that someone might have dared glance at, or appreciated, another human body other than the one they've committed themselves to and hoo-boy what a waste of time! Swingers skip all that bullshit and therefore have far more time to argue about whether the Star Wars prequels or sequels were worse, ponder what sexy outfit they are wearing to a party this weekend, and oh yeah, have lots of sex. Hot sex! 

3. We Are Logistic Geniuses 

Need to pack a moving van or Tetris-ise a chest freezer? Swingers are your solution. We are used to fitting many things in small spaces and working out the best way for multiple shapes to fit in various areas and can slot an item to fill a hole with ease, comfort, and of course the full consent of all things being slotted. We understand when lubrication is required to ensure a smooth process, and we have a whole toolkit of tricks and toys to ensure that everyone gets the outcome they were after. We are careful and gentle when needed and take the time and effort to make sure everything is hunky-dory at all times.

4. We Get Differences and Tolerance 

Yeah you're going get a few bigots and idiots in any demographic, but for the most part swingers have seen all bodies, all people, all personalities and know how to enjoy a person for all that they are. In swinging most people realise fairly quickly that personality is far more important than body shape, and those who fall under the pretentious, self-centred, ego-driven categories are far less welcome than someone with a few wobbles and odd spots who knows how to treat all people nicely. 

5. We Can Keep Confidences

When it comes to keeping secrets and hiding certain things from friends and family, swingers are pretty damn good. Like okay, we probably won't keep sneaky,  mean secrets for you - like if you're cheating on your partner because that’s literally the antithesis of what swingers stand for, but we can spin a brilliant tale of where you'll be instead of the family dinner, or what that photo on Facebook was really about, or why you came home with no holiday photos at all, that will have even the most sceptical of your family members believing your innocence and rescheduling events to fit around you.

Swingers really are the best sort of people to have around and in your life... even if you're not a swinger yourself... But for real, why not give it a go? You could be just as cool as us in no time!

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