How to turn a guy on (without touching his penis)
Eva Sless
on 3 April 2019
39 comments
In almost every article you read about hetero sex (including my own) there’s always a lot of emphasis on the sexual pleasure of women and how guys just having a penis really doesn’t cut it if they don’t know how to use the rest of their body as well.
While this is absolutely true, we don’t often get the same sort of information for women about guys.
There is this underlying (and damaging) idea that all guys really need for good sex is for you to touch their dick. I say damaging because it is. It is damaging in all the ways that upholding toxic masculinity is bad. This shitty idea that men are just mindless animals that want to “blow and go” and anything else, the emotional, sensual, connectivity part of sex is for “poofters” and “nancy boys”.
Bullshit.
Men are every bit as sensual and deserving of time and thought put into their pleasure as women are so I decided to give you all a few tips on how to get those passionate fires burning, and those gorgeous bodies squirming… All without putting even a finger on his cock… And I can almost guarantee that it’ll end up turning you on as well.
Words
Oh words! How good are they! Spoken, written, whispered, inferred. Sexy texts and messages when they’re not around are a fun little way to get them a little hot under the collar without you even having to be in the same room, and little whispers to them while they’re doing completely innocuous things can also be fun. Like, he’s washing up and standing at the sink… So you move in behind him and whisper something like “My pussy is nice and wet… Thought you’d like to know” and then walk away and go make a cup of tea or something. Sit nearby and sip your tea as you watch him… Cross and uncross your legs… Tell him he’s due for a reward. Trust me, by the time the dishes are done… He’ll be rock hard and itching to play.
Pictures
Like with the texts. Sending sexy pictures to them is another way to get a man super aroused without using any sort of touch. Men are very visual creatures and love to see and watch and be shown how sexy and delicious you are. You don’t even need to send porn! Glimpses of your thighs with your skirt pulled up, a sneaky peek at the lace trim on your knickers. Cleavage, your mouth eating a strawberry, your hands just resting inside the top of your shorts… These little pictures are simple and non graphic, and yet will convey so much sexiness and horniness in them they’ll possibly use those images even more than the explicit ones for self-pleasuring activities.
Kissing
OMG kissing is so good. Slow, sensual, lingering kisses. Hot, passionate, desperate kisses. Kisses down his neck. Kisses over his chest. Kisses on his thighs, his fingers, everywhere. There is something so wonderfully sexy about a good make-out sesh on the couch. Legs entangling. Hands through each others’ hair. Tongues dancing together in a seductive tango. Remember how it felt the first time you kissed someone and it made your fingertips tingle? Get back to that sweet innocence of desire and exploration. No genitals needed!
Blindfolds
While yes, men definitely respond to visual stimulation a lot, it doesn’t mean all their other senses are dull or unimportant, and a blindfold is a really sexy way to get them in tune with all of them. Touching their body with your hands, or silk scarves, or a leather belt can stimulate the skin and the mind and the body in all sorts of ways they’ve never experiences. Feed them sweet fruit or chocolates. Whisper sexy nothings in their ear… Tease your way down their body… Touch everywhere but right there… The anticipation of every new touch or experience will have them squiring in the good ways and will also help them unlocking uncharted sensory stimulation they didn’t know existed!
Massage and Body Slides
Slippery oil drizzled carefully over his back… Your hands gliding over his skin as you rub the oil over his body… Both of you naked, slippery, smooth… Run some of that oil over your own body and then slide up his legs to his back. He’ll feel your soft breasts, your silky skin, your hands, your breath… But he’s not allowed to roll over. Not until you’re ready for him.
*Please remember oil is not condom compatible so make sure your body is oil free before using them, or use a good quality silicone lube for your massage oil instead.
Put On A Show
You don’t have to be a stripper or a burlesque dancer to turn taking your clothes off into a sexy affair. Sure, you might have to improvise a bit, as a not-dancer myself I have some hilarious stories about trying to do a strip tease, but that silly awkwardness can actually make the whole thing a whole lot more fun and relaxed, and laughter shared is, in my opinion, a great way to begin foreplay. Or, for a different kind of performance, show him how you play with yourself. Get out your sex toys if you use them. Tease yourself. Seduce yourself. Tell him how much you can’t wait for it to be him touching you. If you’re confident enough, why not combine it with the text/pictures idea and film or photograph yourself doing this when he’s not around and send it in a message…
However you play, fuck, tease, or seduce, remember that genitals are a very small part of the whole picture and the more you learn to embrace all the other things that make sex sexy and fun, the more interesting and evolved your sex life will become.
39 comments
BBWSLT
More than a month agoEva
ReplyIs it bad if I do all thise things for my man and all i get from him is mmmmmm
Lexecutie
More than a month agoIt's all about the subtlety of flirting with a mixture of body language and self confidence. No need for body contact, in fact seduction is best from 5 to 50 metres away, definitely not a handjob & isn't always intended(was she really trying to seduce me!? ¿¡umm, no must've been imaging it... Or was she just, sexy AF & looking in this direction?) type moments, through to intense eye contact while throating a snag at lunch, licking a straw while drinking an iced coffee on taking an extended pause before wiping the mayonnaise from her chin, not necessarily in that order. But never a handjob.
ReplyRedfezz501
More than a month agoWell written ,all absolutely right ,we are visual creatures and sometimes we need a quick empty to be sensual and erotic the next.
ReplyDarkstud
More than a month agoGentle touching, cuddles, kisses and sexy light talk from a woman is a big turn on for me
Replyoakentree
More than a month agotrue we can be visual creatures as we seem lol but i can be a look or just the way a lady touches you a whisper off a finger on your arm and her scent which can be seriously sexy and funny in supermarket or mall, no point hiding the desire we are all different and like woman so many different things can rock our world.Depends on how we think about her, we usually wrong a lot off the time but all good fun.So girls think out side the square you might get a welcome surprise,but if not doesn't mean fail, just like we ask or try till u find, but have fun being yourself,that's always cool, a girl who is happy is always sexy .
Replyyounglady2001
More than a month agoCook him a nice meal
Replymelm4n
More than a month agoWords are definitely up there on the list, especially when you are otherwise limited, whatever the reason (long distance, in public, driving etc.).. It may only take seconds for the right word to work when said in the right context.
ReplyOnce read/heard they unlock our imagination just like that to bring things out of the depth of our mind we may not have seen coming.
Funny thing is, they are sometimes not the kind of words you would expect to work.. and the words you'd expect to work for sure may fall flat and disappoint.
Figuring out the right kind can be hard work and takes time, you can't easily recycle those with another person as you have to be genuinely interested in them so many don't bother.
bestperson
More than a month agoone women sent me pictures of her body and body parts and told me what she would do to me in bed if we met and then she wanted to look at my body it made me so horny i could not get her out of my head for 2 days
ReplyIntimit1
More than a month agoA long overdue article!
ReplyMen are complex creatures, we're a couple that swing & we both find that the male of the species are more attentive to their partners full interaction than the ladies. A generalisation but how many times does a lady be so in her head about how she looks, how will she react, how will her partner react, is she good enough that the guy she's with gets the rough end of the stick on the attention pineapple! Big dicks aside! They get a lot of attention! Mixing metaphors but you know what I mean.
motorcade
More than a month agoWell on this one I beg to differ. There are a heap of gender stereotypes in this article "Eva" , like men are turned on by images. Women are also and you know it. Every pleasure you reveal in this article is enjoyed equally by women. So much for the myth busting.
ReplyThe majority of men on this site will chat to a female for a little while and then escalate to pressuring and or nagging for pics and sex text. If they get a pic they will simply jerk off over it and not meet. If they don't at worst they name call and abuse us. Some say " I'm happily married and not looking to change that" but they want a sexy female to fuck NSA. They want their cake and eat it too. All this they think they are entitled to because of gender sterotyped articles like this.
Amm guys who aren't entitled and living in the fifties, I dont mean you. You know who you are xx
FullMast
More than a month agoI'd love all this to be true, but it's not always that simple, and it's agonizingly awful when your partner reads something in a blog like this then tries to turn you on with an uncomfortable awkward and forced amateur strip.
It is definitely true that men can be turned on by much more than just grabbing their cock, but unfortunately, often what women thinks will work, isn't what actually works on me.
We're all different of course. For me, one of the things that gets me going is anticipation... with a slight 'will she, won't she' component. Teasing and flirting definitely works with someone new, and those tiny little teasing touches that make you think you may be in with a chance can work a treat. Is this playing to my ego? Of course, but great sex is, after all, mostly in the mind.
Physically, I've had many experiences with women who treat my cock like a door handle. Just grabbing and dry tugging is often painful and rarely erotic. Gently cupping the balls with a warm hand, and teasing strokes over the stomach and across the thighs are a nice way to start.
I don't think there's any guaranteed formula. What works one day, will leave me cold the next, but there's nothing that is not worth trying. :)
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ReplySissymilf
More than a month agoI totally agree.
Men i have "known" who are married or with girlfriends come to me because i never have a headache am too tired or non reciprocating. If their women gave instead of using sex as currency then these lovely men would not have strayed.
It isnt the striptease or sexy whisper that gets men going. It is the assurance that i am here when they need release.
Not having sex given out as an occassional treat when they have "behaved"
Gentlefellow
More than a month agoExcellent article, I totally agree with everything. Pleasure should be drawn out over time, using the mind as the initial organ for arousal. For me, less is definately more, and I’m more turned on by what a woman wears, rather than just laying everything out there straight away. The journey is just as good (if not better) than the destination.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoThis is most definitely the best reply I have read, so true the mind is a powerful thing, I showered on KIK tonight for a lady, a turn on for us both.
Gordo1970
More than a month agoBit of a silly article isn't it? It's not exactly a challenge to turn a guy on, if she has boobs and a pulse you're pretty much set
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoAnd how good is your sex life ?
Gordo1970
More than a month agoIt's OK why do you ask?
Do you not understand the sarcasm of my comment? Would you like me to break it down for you?
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More than a month agoYou might have to Gordo! Lol
TropicSun
More than a month agoI did afew of those things this morning, he LOVED it! ;)) lol .... jus wish he’d reciprocate :-/
PS. Referring to my FWB :-/
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoI'm hearing you.. that's what's good about having a fwb..
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More than a month agoi see why you want a lover wish i was closer i would give you the seduction your craving for what's wrong with him nothing like seeing & hearing a woman really turned on
SweetestSins
More than a month agoThe art of seduction is learning what he really wants and giving it to him in a way that takes his breath away.
Slow sensual movements, subtle touches, sound, smell, taste.. heighten every single one of his senses to leave him wanting more.
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ReplyAJinBrisbane
More than a month agoTotally agree..
Make it a game and draw it out knowing at the end your both going to win!!
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More than a month agoThis so this
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More than a month agoAnd I am left, wanting more...
munchbuddy
More than a month agoArt of seduction is the SweetestSins ;)
wickedcat
More than a month agoThis article should be mandatory reading ... especially for people that are in longer term relationships, where sex has become more of a habit ... and therefore genital focused.
ReplyI have had two fwb's (both married to others) of recent times comment that they get more turned on during our preliminary non-genital play, than they have for years with their partners, who have allowed sex to become more mechanical, and just a way to get their rocks off.
friskypuz
More than a month agoDefinitely not just about the wham, bam.
ReplyI enjoy seductive play, waiting for him wear sexy lingerie, telling him to watch while l have a play, kissing deeply, telling him what l want to do with him, and how l want him to do things with me, to eventually give him the come fuck me look.. My pleasure is his also
KinkyHugh
More than a month agoAbout time
Replynqsensualgent
More than a month agoThe skin is our largest organ (often a trivia question) & teasing it in the right way can drive the "receiver" mad with lust & desire.
ReplyThis is a great article & should be read by both sexes.
Gathom
More than a month agoThe best article regarding Male sensuality that I have ever read
Replybarkly48
More than a month agoMy ex would come out and say at some random time while I was driving... "geez, I'm horny"... It always turned me on... shame when we got to where we were going she wasn't...!! Except once when time wasn't an issue... pulled off the road and had a good session with the passenger door open... haha... Ahhhh memories...!!!
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoyeh mine too did her on the bonnet ended up with an audience haha yeh memories
smexcited
More than a month agowhat gets me going is the look when a woman looks deep into your eyes with passion and when she breathes and whispers in my ear her fantasies.When in the heat of the moment and she tells me exactly what she needs.Or when we are driving along and i look down and she has lifted up her dress to expose herself and starts masturbating
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoi agree
Zamboon
More than a month agoThere are many things you can do to a man to drive him wild - yes a look, an expression a desire that you might have the way you walk and undress and laugh - flirt with him and yes talk dirty ...just don’t be desperate, and presumptuous ,
ReplyAnd you don’t have to be a super model, just be confident and lovely - and thank you all ...
chesswiseagain
More than a month agoWhat really turns me on is when a woman talks real dirty... She calls her pussy her cunt and then tells me what she would like me to do to it. Not even mentioning my cock!!
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoTotally agree with that chesswiseagain,
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More than a month agoyes & while they are squirting all over you in an intense orgasm