How to have a sex dream
Whether you vividly recall your dreams when you wake up or have an “ah ha” moment at a later stage, we all dream. Women commonly dream about being chased, men commonly dream of flying like a superhero but Sigmund Freud’s dream theory was right about one thing – most people also have dreams which are explicitly sexual in nature.
What do we know about sex dreams?
An online study conducted by the sleep laboratory at the Central Institute of Mental Health in Germany found that 93% of men and 86% of women recalled experiencing a sex dream. Men reported that around 21% of their dreams had an erotic focus (including kissing, intercourse, masturbation or watching sexual acts) while for women it was around 16%. Given that men report spending more time thinking about sex or sexual fantasies this seems to support the belief that dreams reflect the waking thoughts of the dreamer.
Another interesting finding was that the percentage of younger women having erotic dreams was actually higher. The researchers concluded that “one might speculate that younger women in modern society (post feminism era) deal with sexuality as a topic more openly than older women of previous generations”.
Not all sex dreams result in an orgasm, but they can for both men and women which we wrote about in this article.
Who are we getting sexy with in our dreams?
A study found that men & women differ in who they dream of having sex with. For women it’s more likely to be their partner whilst for men it’s more likely to be an acquaintance. To a lesser degree both genders also dream about strangers, ex-partners, an imaginary person or a famous person.
The most common sex dreams involve:
- Being cheated on
- Sleeping with someone you dislike
- Sleeping with someone of the same sex
- Sleeping with your ex
- Sex in public
The important thing to keep in mind is that we have no control over what we dream about and that sex dreams are not just for singles, and their intensity or frequency has nothing to do with dissatisfaction with your relationship/s or sex life.
What can seem amazingly sexy in our sleep state can seem amazingly cringe worthy in our waking state. While some dreams are about wish fulfilment other dreams can be totally illogical like dreaming about having sex with someone that we dislike IRL. The dream doesn’t mean we actually want to sleep with that person so psychologists suggest that trying to give meaning to a dream is pointless.
Does how we sleep influence our dreams?
As it turns out, yes! According to a study published in the journal Dreaming, your body position while asleep can influence what you dream about. The study found that people who slept on their stomachs more frequently recalled more sex dreams or dreams where they were nude. But sleeping on your stomach also related to dreams of being locked up or tied up, being smothered, as well as seeing UFOs but that’s a whole other article.
We talked about sleep positions briefly in our article about sleep orgasms. Sleeping on your stomach can create physical pressure in your genital area and your genitals are more hyper-sensitive during REM sleep because of increased blood flow to erectile tissue (for both men & women). So perhaps in an aroused state your mind drifts towards erotic thoughts rather than the other way around.
How to have a sex dream
Here are some suggestions if you want to have erotic dreams:
- There is some evidence that men who ejaculate during the day may have fewer wet dreams so abstaining from sex or masturbation for a period of time might bring them on. It’s certainly been researched that lack of sex can heighten your dreams.
- Sleeping on your stomach as explained above.
- Creating a sensual boudoir without clutter or electronic equipment can help you experience a deeper more relaxing sleep providing the perfect environment to bring on those sexy dreams.
- Go to sleep cuddling with your partner because a naked body lying next to you generally means more cuddling which triggers the release of oxytocin, the hormone which increases your sex drive.
- In our sleep we often try to work out and replay what happened that day so perhaps a day of thinking about sex might trigger an erotic dream that night.
- Reading erotica before you fall asleep might help to put you in the mood, relax you and help those erotic dreams come alive.
- Science does know that the more sex you have the more your body wants so up the ante in your waking hours in the hope that you get more during your sleeping hours. Just don’t orgasm yourself out!
- Some dream experts believe that you can influence your dreams by thinking of a subject as you’re dozing off so when you go to bed run your hands over your naked body or wear that sexy lingerie and think sexy thoughts! But if you end up masturbating it’s going to defeat the purpose.
- Sounds and smells during the night also subconsciously influence our dreams so playing some sexy soft “music to fuck to” might subconsciously put you in the mood.
- Perhaps just have sex before you go to bed. As your body calms down and relaxes after the intense physical activity and orgasm, you’ll enter a deep sleep quickly which is when those erotic dreams will kick in (hopefully complete with dream replays of the steamy action).
Remember these are just suggestions which we’ve compiled from a whole range of sources BUT if they work please, please let us know in the comments.
2 comments
creampielover47
More than a month agoHaving a very raunchy sex dream and telling my husband about it is how we started swinging!
Replybadthoughts63
More than a month agoAbstaining from sex or masturbation for a few days and wearing womens panties or g string in bed at night definitely gives me sex dreams most of the time. I find I have an erection for most of the night. Eventually after my sex dream, I wake up and I’m so horny I just have to jerk off even if I’ve had a wet dream or not.
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