Masturbation: It's not just for wankers!

by Cyndi Darnell - 24 April 2015 - 20 Comments
Masturbation: It's not just for wankers!

Masturbation. I am assuming that on a site like this, most of you are already pretty familiar with it, and are also fairly OK with sex being an important part of your life.

But masturbation is a really important part of our sexuality. Practicing masturbation can actually expand and enhance our erotic experiences with others. Who woulda thunk it?

Any of you that are familiar with my work know that I am a great advocate of deep, focussed sensual sex as a pathway to heightened orgasms, deeper connections and and more powerful erotic experiences that leave you longing for more, more, MORE! Here are a few tips to spice up your masturbation to improve your technique and bring more BANG to your bedroom escapades!

1. Practice slowing your masturbation down Why? You get to focus on different parts of your genitals or nipples. For example, if you are accustomed to quick wanking or using a vibrator to get off, practice using a slower technique and notice which parts of your genitals and nipples are more sensitive than others.

2. Penises. Instead of just jerking off to orgasm, try stimulating one part of your cock at a time.  A lot of  folks find the frenulum (this is the yummy little triangle in the underside of your penis where it joins the foreskin  - where it is or was) is really a delicious spot to touch with the pad of your forefinger. Using lube, make little circles on this area  and experiment with pressure and speed. 

2a. Practice extending your orgasm by getting yourself turned on, but just before you feel you are about to come, take your hands away and shift your breathing to your nose only. This helps you control your ejaculation giving you more choice about how you come and when. Practicing this regularly is a great way to train yourself to last longer during partnered sex.

3. Labia. Take the time to get to know your labia. Both inner and outer. If you haven't had a good look at yours, may May the month to get out a mirror and have a look around. Using lube really explore the areas you mightn't usually, like the area between the labia and the forchette, the area where the lips meet at  their lowest point, above the anus. How long does it take for your pussy to start to swell?  Take selfies of your pussy before, during and after arousal - to see how much it varies during these stages of arousal.

3a. Rock around the Clit Clock. (I learnt this one from my pal Barbara Carrellas) Imagine your clit is a clock face  Spend 2 minutes making tiny circles with your finger on each point of the clock face.Use lube but not too much - it desensitises. Which o'clocks feel best to you? A lot of us find the area between 5 o'clock and 7 o'clock the most divine. 

4. Instead of racing to orgasm, see how much stimulation you can take and how long it takes you to get to maximum wetness, hardness and arousal. For a lot of us it can be a while. You might surprise yourself at just how much pleasure you can have. After all, why scoff down a delicious meal. Learn to savour each nibble as if it were your last!

All this masturbation and attention to detail gives you more knowledge of your body and how it works and what it loves. The more you know the more you can share with others. To learn more tips like this, check out my website or  subscribe to my newsletter 


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  1. Henmvy2

    More than two weeks ago
    Hmm. There's a fraction too much friction.
    But I find a lot of friction is good!
  2. EroticTouch2017

    More than a month ago
    Nothing like edging.....I once edged for over 8 hours, it was an amazing experience and was largely hard for the entire experience!


    More than a month ago
    Wow thats amazing

    Truthfully you deserved to have an dynamic explosion

  3. whatsup08

    More than a month ago
    That's great then. Practice makes perfect
  4. friskypuz

    More than a month ago
    have found that some men, that wank a lot don't always cum, when it comes down to intercourse. they can become desensitised , just as some women are the same with over use of a vibrator. while knowing your body and having fun and the release of masturbation, is great, it still doesn't beat a good fuck, or oral its all part of the sexual enjoyment.
  5. trythishard1

    More than a month ago
    The best time to wank your cock is when there's a tongue licking your balls !!
  6. charlie368

    More than a month ago
    Wow tried 2a what a load I just shot amazing and felt so good what a orgasm love it
  7. Looking4u2350

    More than a month ago
    A wank a day keeps the blues away
  8. Tobnaughty01

    More than a month ago
    It's great practice. I have done many of the techniques suggested by Cyndi.
    I have enjoyed them with my partners. They are great.
  9. dav6191

    More than a month ago
    My partner both masturbate often with incredible fantasies it can be so fulfilling
  10. mmfbimale

    More than a month ago
    This is so true, have masturbated for well over an hour before letting my self cum. Men can have many orgasms before,fun
  11. JakeSnake19

    More than a month ago
    Absolutely spot on with all details ! Wow i had fun
  12. xanderking

    More than a month ago
    Great article! Always fun to experiment, especially with yourself...
  13. serg685

    More than a month ago
    For me, and I am a man, masturbation is all about get the best out of it, either fast or slow who cares is the enjoyment u r getting out of it when u doing it is important to have the need then trust me is a great sensation. I masturbate whenever I feel it don't care what o who say what is how I feel and when, have a good one and enjoy it.
  14. lilltassytiger

    More than a month ago
    Great to see,someone with such an in-depth experience,happy and willing to pass on their invaluable knowledge,(a lady well worth,getting to know,(much) better), ;-).
  15. honami69

    More than a month ago
    cum one come all

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