I tried hard not to let the old woman in
But she arrived anyway with a sheepish grin.
I tried to bribe her with a bottle of Gin.
Go away
But the old woman is determined to stay
So thanks to her I may not hear
The sweet nothings you whisper in my ear.
Because I am as deaf as a post.
Though I guess I can boast
My legs are still long.
But don’t get me wrong.
My jelly belly looks like a baggy balloon
And sometimes I howl at the moon.
Life’s not fair!
But I dread crumbling with despair.
Thankfully I hear the ocean calling me to Seize
the day!
So, I am out the door and on my way.
Peddling my E Bike I zoom along
Because I am not yet ready for that final gong.
But keep falling into the dreaded rabbit hole.
So pardon me while I curse.
Because old age has taken hold
And I feel ever so terse.
She has confined me to barracks for months now not just weeks.
I soldier on and on pretending life without sex is fine.
But honestly my old bones creak
And Sir thanks for the kind offer of your services but regrettably I decline.
Because sex is neither the elixir nor the antidote.
And yes Sir your empathy and compassion will get my vote.
But No Sir I know what you are thinking.
Sadly willing bodies entwined will not distract me from my pain.
And if anyone suggests I settle down with a nice retired old man
This crazy old Dame
Will kick up her heels and do the Can! Can!*
Well as best I Can! Can!*
Let’s face facts
I am full up to dollies wax
With sexist ageist BS!
What would you do if you were me?
I asked my Mentor G.P.S.
(Otherwise known as Goddess Pussy in the sky.)
Julie doomsday is not yet nigh.
I have stored a dossier about your life in the clouds above.
And today I gift you your own hard copy with my love.
Also, I encourage you to celebrate your old age.
By performing a bawdy poem on the Nimbin stage.
For inspiration open your dossier at the chapter titled Julie’s debauchery fun
Next, to an audience of one
But preferably to a crowd
Read the chapter out loud
Then Goddess pussy disappeared into a fluffy cloud.
Julie’s debauchery fun
Chapter one
Julie at the top of the list is the bliss of your first kiss.
Next is the fun loving girl
who loves to dance and twirl.
Or when you are feeling peeved
A trick to keep up your sleeve
Is to provocatively undress.
Re-enacting the thrill of being a saucy seductress.
Then with audacious flair
Teasingly caress your bare derriere
Or simply wave your arms in the air
Dancing naked on a chair.
Then bring to mind indulging in a good licking.
When your inner slut was alive and kicking.
And Julie can you recall making love in cyber space
Wearing your black gown of feathers and lace?
The fact is you never let a chance go by
To enjoy the no pants dance
Because doing the what comes naturally
Has kept the fire in your belly
And I wager Julie you have fond memories of impersonating Madame Lash.
Remember Julie?
You wore your Mona Lisa smile
Wielding your whip
With finesse and style.
Do that! Harder! Harder!
Do that Faster! Faster!
No! No! That's not what I meant.
Fuck me hard young bard and don't stop until you are spent.'
On the flip side being a brazen whore
Thrilled you to the core.
OH Yes Master! Yes Master
J' adore
I am yours to obey.
I will do your bidding both night and day
So, take me on all fours
I am a Wanton Whore
And Master I am yours
And Julie although you brag
Enjoying a raunchy shag
In a hot tub
Here’s the rub
In the mile high club
I bet you regret
You haven't bonked yet
But better by far
Than that quickie in the car
Was getting laid. Again!
Again! and Again! and Again!
On the Fuckity! Fickity! Fuckity! Fickity! train
Clickity! Clack! Clickity! Clack!
Clickity! Clickity! Clickity! Clack!
And Julie by the way
I smile when I hear you say
Thank God Hitten the kitten
Does not have a use by date
That means I can always merrily masturbate
Until it’s time to enter the pearly gates
Now Julie that’s what I call
Gratitude with attitude
Now with that said and done
I trust this record of your debauchery fun
Encourages you to turn the next page
And inspires you to perform a bawdy poem on the Nimbin stage.
Julie, I have had a ball recalling your glorious raunchy nights.
The afternoon delights.
The skyrockets in flight.
Remember though Julie
The future is not ours to see
What will be will be
Lastly Julie please share this Mantra with your audience today.
Blessings to the old woman who came to stay
To teach me not to watch the bridges as
they burn.
Blessings for all the lessons I still need to learn
To make this next leg of my journey the best yet.
Blessings to the Universe for aiding me in my quest.
To accept everything happens for me. Not to me
Blessings to the powerful force of my destiny
That carries me forth with love and peace in my heart.
Heralding each moment as a brand-new start.
Blessings for the awareness that my challenges will not bring about my
demise.
They are gifts in disguise
And if I do slip back into despair
I will not offer it a chair
Instead, I will politely tell it to Nick off!
And hold the lamp light of my soul aloft.
Because it cannot be bought or sold
Rather my soul shines brightly. Like a beacon of gold.
Reminding me what really matters in the end.
Is to fearlessly negotiate each twist and bend
(Evolving to changing circumstance.
By celebrating life as a beautiful dance),
All I am saying is give peace a chance.
Why walk when you can dance?
Dance me to the end of time