It was a dark and stormy night... home alone and the missus was out... I needed to relieve myself but not in a toilet way... so what more could a dirty bastard like me do but try something I could only describe as erotic... I decided to get naked and try to suck my own dick... I did all sorts of positions to try and get my own member in my mouth, some of which included going upside down and bending over backwards... I found the perfect edge, all I needed to do was put a pile of heavy books on my back so I can stay folded like one... my throbbing willy was jumping at the thought like moby dick, the time was nearing... I began to lick my dick hole like circle around it but it felt like I was peeing, so I put my lips around it and to be honest it felt more like I was sucking cock than receiving head, so I tried to get out of this situation but I dislocated my spine and was forced to yell out for my google home, but the louder I spoke, the more sensation my penis felt, and it got to the point where mid sentence I felt a warm gooey explosion in my mouth...