I was 18 when I was found by a couple in their mid 40's. They invited me to the old Log Cabin in Penrith, they wanted me to join them in a threesome and wanted to make a night of it!

Haha, I was so flattered they approached me, invited me, their intention i was completely swept off my feet! I grew up in the Blue Mountains so its a very reserved place. I had no idea where it would go but i wanted to know.

I get down there, get introduced, sit out the back on the river drinking a beer with these two, everyone keeping polite and civil completely in contrast to why we were there. I'm in a state of excitement! completely out of context for the situation haha but I kept it all under wraps, just trying to match their tone, I had no idea what was normal, everyone around us is having a beer, watching the footy, doing dinner with the kids...

The night goes on, we talk, I have no memory of what, we end up at a table by the dance floor, I'm making out with her, her husband is making out with her, she's going between us, dancing, drinking, it was chaos! and I loved it!

A bouncer, a big kiwi, made sure to step by and clear our table, he had this look, this look that said "I know what you guys are doing" haha and he was happy and gleeful! So was she, so was he... so was I!!!

So we go back to the motel next door, we play, we fuck, we pound. He and I pass her between us, she's lunging and knocking us on our backs to ride us... we were animals...

I woke up the next morning, they're fucking next to me, it was so normal, it felt right, i slept so well in a bed of 3... the freedom to do as they felt... to me... to one another... it opened up something in my life...

We parted and I spent the next few months processing every belief I'd been taught, I was conflicted because the result didn't match the beliefs, this should have been bad, but i feel amazing, it was empowering!

I spent the next few years going to swinger parties with them and being passed around and I loved it! I love bringing joy! I loved the appreciation i was given for sharing myself. I adore those older than me... well everyone was older than me! haha.

I love the blemishes, the scars, these people hid nothing of themselves their stories were written in their bodies, their expressions, you could see where hardship was faced. These things didn't hold them back, didn't deter them being forward with me, it empowered them, I grew to see it as a strength.

To have age and have survived the world became a big attraction point for me. The wrinkles, the lines, the blemishes, the love handles, stretch marks and atrophy... these people lived life and I love how they used me like they bought me!

The parties were wonderful, private, groups of friends. Some wanted to host, do dinners, serve food, others wanted to be social, some just wanted to play. There were people dressed to the 9's a meter from those nude and everyone had the same joy and smiles erupting from them. Invitation to play was normalized... a hand on the shoulder "would you like to come play" it was said like being offered tea or coffee... civil and polite and a yes or a no was met with equal appreciation.

I have never again seen that volume of joy and expression of adults in adult life... all the day to day roles, wife, husband, worker, parent... they took a back seat and the person got some airtime, some playtime! Earned from all the time being responsible.

This marked me early in life, to be responsible... to get it done... because then it is playtime... I was given new beliefs, swinger beliefs, tribal beliefs.

That ended as all things do, I met a woman, did the white picket fence, did the career, did the kids... All the while this part of me struggled within the confines of civility, it cant exist there... there is no playtime.

20 years later I've come back and I'm looking for the tribe I left... I need it, I don't do well in civility, I'm not made for it.

Its all digital now, websites, apps... and lots of very angry upset people which is upsetting, I didn't expect to find that. I've had a few adventures and mishaps learning this space.

So here I am! I want to find the people and the places that gave me so much happiness and allowed me to share myself fully, be appreciated for my promiscuous nature, my creativity.

I want to mentor the new and take them in as I was.

That couple would be heading towards 70 years and I miss them, they made such a huge impact upon me, taught me so much about people, myself... my gratitude is boundless. I have held an affinity and appreciation for those with life experience and they were a huge part of that.

Listen to your elders... they can take you places you cannot fathom xxx