I will Survive Modern Version.

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died
But I'd spent so many years, just waiting for a man that long
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on

But there you are, another lie
I was ready for a big mac and, you bought me a French fry
I should have known that it was bull. Just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no, anaconda lurking in those jeans

It took all my self control, not to laugh out loud
When I saw your little weiner, standing tall and proud
But to hell with all your egos, and to hell with all your need
Now I'm saving all my lovin, for a cordless multispeed

Go on now go, Just make a dash
Last time I saw a prick that small was, Gladstone running unclad hash
I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for referee
Then I wouldn't have you waving, that wee winky thing at me

Go on now go. Just hit the track
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers. Cos I'll only throw them back
The only thing that I could do, with a prick as small as yours
Is to stick it with a toothpick, and dip it in tomato sauce

Oh.. oh now go.Get out of my sight
I'm going back to my appliance. Cos I know it's length is right
And if I ever see your, tiny tockley at my door
You'll be counting up your inches, as you pick them off the floor

Go on now go. Walk out the door.
Don't you promise 10 inches, then turn up with only 4
Weren't you a prat to think, I wouldn't catch you out
Don't you know we're only joking, when we say size doesn't count

Oh no, not I, I will survive
Cos as long as I have batteries, My sex life is gonna thrive
I will always have good sex,
with a handful of latex
and I'll survive...I will survive