I have a pussycat that only truly loves a cuddle when she is held tight within my arms, where she can't get away, and puts all her paws in the air and makes air biscuits.

Much like my pussycat, Miss Mac, I am a woman who has always been in control but who longs to surrender in order to find herself. In my ideal world I'd be the one able to make air biscuits in bliss like my gorgeous kitten who revels being held safe in my arms.

I desire to be safe; safe to surrender and give up some of my control to another.

Surrender isn't about submission.

For me, surrender is about exchanging power - stepping out of control and into surrender of control to another who sees her, and gives her the opportunity to just be in the moment.

And it's not about sex, domination, or the kink for me.

Today I had an erotic experience that had nothing to do with sex.

I was doing my thing with a friend, just splitting wood. He'd come to visit, and helped me get my splitter working.

Then he looked around, saw something he could help me with, and proceeded to go ahead and do it for me. It was something so simple, yet so powerful.

He just did it.

He went to the hardware store and purchased the necessary items while I continued to split wood. I was in heaven being able to finally split wood for my cold as fuck house.

We both continued with our work.

As the day progressed, I happened to be standing in the yard, watching him work, realising I'd spent an afternoon not having to wonder what someone was doing, or if they needed help, or god forbid, if I'd have to step in and 'supervise'.

This wasn't sexual, but oh my god it was arousing.

As a strong, self-sufficient woman, I am often thought of as difficult by men who can't do what I do, or find my power threatening.

So to be able to spend the afternoon with a man who didn't do anything other than give me his quiet strength, was simply wonderful. It was the moment I recognised as an opportunity to surrender and simply sit in the willingness to hand over control to someone else and be ok with it. I had no desire to check in with what he was doing. I simply stood there and admired the calm strength of a man around me who knew what he was doing.

A part of me whispered quietly to myself, as I watched him working in my yard, just because he wanted to help me...'hello Sir, this Kitten sees you'