The Very Difficult Proposal

This morning after opening my usual emails, I noticed a name in the list of newest received /known senders....from an ex client and someone I’m familiar with and to my surprise also familiar with my Boyfriend “TOBIAS” ...

After reading what began as an email Of “long time no hear/see/chat” I began to see a pattern emerge that I recall was pleasant to hear but became a difficult one to comprehend especially whether or not it came from a truly genuinely sincere source...The ex client...

Anyway I read it to its end and the email asked me to contact the ex client,and after showing my boyfriend,we saw no harm in following the intructions...and established contact with this man...

Pleasantries dispensed with,and then the call upgraded to video, I found this gentleman to be very much a sincerely genuine type especially since he was also a former employer of my Boyfriends & my Bf said he was also to be trusted as a person who never minces his words.. And then we both found out the real intended purpose of this contact email,and for myself and my boyfriend we became shocked and stunned by the last few paragraphs of content...which stated clearly The senders sincere and genuine love interest,proposal of marriage,long term life plan,Offer of financial incentive including a payment for the purpose of buying off the intentions (however protective ) of my current boyfriend ........And then It hit me ....All of this was directed squarely at me...the proposal of a romantic lifelong partnership,marriage proposal,financial incentive towards my transition goals thus fast tracking my savings plan,including accomodation,airfares,a travelling companion/Nurse/guide to accompany me...and of course the offer to buy out my current lover/’s (my boyfriends) romantic interest in me...The offer/proposal was incredibly detailed, and left me thinking there was no doubt to its sincerity,and no way this was “too good to be true and a scam designed to lure me into a third world mafia’s prostitution ring”....

My immediate thought was a selfish one....finally my chance to become one with my true inner self sooner.... and then my thoughts turned selfless : But how could do this without my current boyfriend for whom I am deeply in love with,and what were his thoughts on the chance that buy off money could set up his future business plans years earlier if only he accepted it and romantically ended our love in that same instance... the whole thing presented the both of us with a monumental dilemma...1: keep our love ,refuse the proposal and maybe one day both our future dreams could be realised with the margins of time/age/success vs failure all riding on it......or 2:My boyfriend and I going our separate ways to fulfil our dreams/destiny’s....him with his business plan/model of successful retirement and me with my strongest desire/dreams of transition and womanhood and this new (untested love) marriage,financials secured,a comfortable apartment and car for me...And this whole life presented before me that I never earned and would be given / in turn for my love & loyalty and commitment to an older gentleman/future husband businessman....

I couldn’t make this decision lightly...and needed time ...and after a month had passed ,I had to finally consider my choice , On the final day I CHOSE (the right choice of course !!).. THE END..