If you’re not having an orgasm every time your boyfriend does, you’re running about average. Many women - including yours truly – have difficulty climaxing during normal, penetrative sex. But it doesn’t have to be that way!
Whilst it may seem obvious to many, some of us might not realise there are several types of orgasms. The first - and done the right way - is infallible; the clitoral orgasm. The second - the vaginal (or g-spot) orgasm - is a lot more elusive. Doctors argue that some women can never achieve the latter, although all women can achieve a rocketing climax during play.
But forget behavioural therapy or a romantic setting - we are risen from apes – not transcended from angels! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - the only way to produce a physical reaction is to create a physical action.
That means masturbation and stimulation during sex. If you haven’t mastered the Big O yet – start now by reading “Mastering the Big O” (posted above). Unless you’re married to a celibate or plan on entering a convent, it’s one of the most important things in our partners’ lives and we owe it to them to at least give it a whirl (it also makes the winks and nudges a lot easier to endure!)
Whilst future posts will cover topics such as cunnilingus, sex toys and the best positions; the main way to get your rocks off during penetrative sex is to stimulate the clitoris while the deed is being done. That means using fingers or toys ‘down there’ at the same time as the phallus is sliding in and out of you.
As you can imagine - and given the tendency for lower torsos to smack together - this is difficult at times, so unless you have a extremely resilient (or skinny) hand, it is far easier to buy a ‘climax stimulator’ especially made for the task. Starting at only $10 in sex shops and online, these little beauties can sit right on your clit while your partner does his – or her – athletic best. Climax stimulators come in a variety of shapes and sizes and at a price like that, it’s easy to experiment. Steer clear of the hard, metallic ones if you can afford it and opt for something that is made of silicon or soft rubber. ‘Pocket rockets’ are long and thin and easy to hold in place, while ‘vibrating peas’ (and their ilk) seem to sit in place merely by strategic placement of the control cord.
Not only do you find yourself calling ‘keep going’ instead of thinking ‘hurry up’ – it’s also heaps of fun to try and do the movie thing and climax at the same time.
Remember, sex without orgasms is like eating a cake without the icing; so why not make a small investment for a fabulous dividend!