Am I gay?

I had been thinking about blow jobs for ages, then I started to think about why I was focusing on so much detail and I wasn't really thinking about my cock. Was I hard because I was thinking about other guys, was I actually thinking about giving a blow job myself. I was getting harder and worried.
I wasn't that guy, I had a girlfriend but this was freaking me out. I tried to let it go, but the more I tried the more I thought about it, now I was definately thinking about sucking a cock. This went on for weeks, but I never said a word.

We were out with a friend of my girlfriend, I was just taking along as they danced. I sat at the bar not knowing where they had taken me. It was quiet and they were the only girls dancing, but I guess it was mid week. I was chatting to the bar guy and drinking quietly by myself when another guy can and ordered some drinks, while he waited he started chatting with me. I ws polite and he asked if I'd like to join him. The bar man laughed, he's not gay mate, your trying on the wrong guy. He left and the barman realised I didn't even know I was in a gay bar. We kept chatting and later I asked him how he know I wasn't gay. He reply floored me. "Orginally I didn't think you were but since he came down you can't stop looking in his direction." I blushed, "Na, just curious why he is up there with a girl then and a little flattered."
Either way, if you were I wouldn't let him take you, I'd have a crack, want another beer? this ones on me!"

Later I go to the bathroom, the bar man tells me down the end of the hall there. I walk down and it's empty, but so is the bar alsmost. As I go to leave the bar man comes in.
"So, can I offer you anything more than a beer?" The thoughts come flooding in and all i can think about is sucking a cock, he see's me looking at his cock and doesn't miss a beat, he pulls it out and rubs it up and down. Would you like a try, just lick it like a lollipop.
I don't know why, yes I do, I am curious and want to know. I stumble on a few words and he laughs, "no rush take your time, you & I both know you want to try. " Why am I still looking at his cock, he walks closer to me and then grabs my hand and puts it on his cock before giving me a kiss. "Know you haven't left and you didn't pull away. You might as well try the next step!"
I drop to my knees and give it a lick. It is slightly sweaty, salty taste but I kind of like it. I keep going, before you know it I have my lips over it slowing sucking the tip. He tells me to just do what I like to have done, before you know it I am sucking away not even thinking about where we are when someone walked in. I am so embaressed I jump up and leave. Unfortunately my girlfirend doesn't want to leave, I am left sitting at the bar waiting when the barman comes over with another beer.
"So that was pretty good for your first try, how do you feel?"
I can't beleive I am talking to him about it, but I tell him I was suprised it isn't as bad as I thought it would be, he asked if I would do it again. I sat there and sipped my beer.
"So you didn't say no, I'd be happy to let you keep practising on me" and he slipped me his number.
When we finally got home, as my girlfriend fucked my brains out, all I could think about was the Barman.
Am I gay? I need to explore this more, thats for sure.