With a partner, especially a long-term one, the idea of bringing up something new and outside the box (especially sexually) can be daunting. But with someone new you can say “tie me up and spank me!” and if they say no… Well okay. Next!
Due to being the world’s most popular flavouring, vanilla has a connection with convention and normality – it’s something almost everyone likes, therefore can be seen as nothing special. So what do kinky people mean when they say ‘vanilla’?