To be honest, it’s a bit of both!
By definition a game is: “an amusement or pastime; fun; anything resembling a game, as in requiring skill, endurance, or adherence to rules…” So far swinging fits into the “game” category. It’s definitely fun, generally there are rules or boundaries even if some change each time you play. There are times when endurance is a real plus, and skill? Well we all appreciate a person with good skills now don’t we!
For some couples it is just a game they get to play, it’s never serious and they are often quite relaxed about the whole affair (no pun intended, well actually, ok it was!) It’s something they do only occasionally but it’s not the focus of their lives and they don’t need to change anything to incorporate it when they want to.
Then there is the other side of that where swinging does become a way of life. For some couples, more so in the beginning, it’s an every weekend thing, or at least as much as possible. It can become a little consuming when it’s new, which is really no different to a child at Christmas.
Remember when you got up on Christmas morning and after all the unwrapping (ripping and tearing) was done, you had a stack of new toys to play with? Then do you remember playing with your new toys for hours and hours and not once going near your old toys, or even thinking about them? Yeah, swinging can be like that in the beginning for most.
It becomes even more a way of life as it can have a negative impact on a person’s work/business life. Because of their position, it can’t necessarily be shared and those people can feel like they need to be extremely careful as it could have serious ramifications if particular people found out. Keeping your identity and private-life private can be a 24/7 conscious effort, which then becomes a way of life.
Others don’t have to worry about that as much, myself being one of them… Well given the fact I write about it and have been on TV a few times now would suggest that not only am I ok with it, but it’s not detrimental to my private life if it’s known that I swing. I know many people who are like this and swinging is still a way of life.
Other things that let you know it’s a way of life: Your social calendar and catching up with vanilla friends is scheduled around swinging events or private nights and shopping for new underwear includes shopping for potential outfits for some sexy swinging events or private nights. Personal grooming also becomes a regular thing prior to said swinging events or private nights, it’s no longer just for that special someone… It’s now “someone’s”!
It’s become a way of life when you are meeting new people (regardless of the environment) and you are wondering if they swing or what they’d be like in bed; It’s when you have your playmate radar active more time than not and you prefer spending time with your swinging buddies than your vanilla (or standard) friends and family.
Now is that a bad thing? Not if it’s not hurting anyone or getting you in trouble because you’ve hit on the new guy/girl at work and everyone knows you’re a swinger (hint: not a good idea, trust me on that one!)
Over time you may find that it goes beyond a game and you start looking for more than a physical hook up, it becomes more about finding people you really connect with and there is an emotional component that wasn’t there in the beginning. I think at that point you have pretty much integrated swinging into your life and it’s evolved to another level.
So is swinging a game or a way of life? I think it starts as a game and for some it stays that way but for many it becomes a way of life; it becomes a part of their lives but still has the fun of a game. I’ll toast to that! Joining me?