7 Things You Should Never Put In Your Vagina

by Eva Sless - 22 October 2016 - 55 Member Comments
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The vagina is an awesome machine. It can do some pretty remarkable things, like expand up to 200%, create pleasure like nothing you've ever known, and it can even clean itself.

It's super important to look after it properly, and while it's a lot of fun to experiment with sex and toys and all sorts of fun stuff there are some things you should never stick up there. 

Douches

The news about douching is slowly getting around, but I still come across people who either don't know it's bad or don't think it's that bad so they don't really care, because they think there are some sort of benefits to be gained from it. Bottom line is, there isn't. There is absolutely no reason ever for you to douche your vagina. It will not clean it or refresh it, it will do the exact opposite. It will clear out everything. Including all the stuff you need in there to make it healthy. It can cause thrush and bacterial vaginosis as well as drying it out and causing possible tears in the lining. And then there is all the bacteria and nasties you will push up past your cervix into your uterus and possibly fallopian tubes and ovaries. It could lead to infertility, and even death in extreme cases of infection. Just don't do it. If you think your vagina smells (other than natural, normal vagina smells) then it could be a sign of an infection or illness and it's important to talk to a doctor or sexual health professional.

* As a side note, this also goes for having vaginal sex in water. The same effect of pushing water up by a penis can do exactly the same damage.

Fruit n Veg

Yes, we've all heard of the girls who like to play with cucumbers and bananas, and possibly you've seen food porn videos, but it's really not a good idea. No matter how much you wash it, it's never going to totally get rid of the bacteria and foreign particles on it, I mean, the whole banana is a foreign particle in itself!

If you DO really want to play with food then you must always cover it in a condom. I'd suggest double bagging it, just to be on the safe side.

Crappy sex toys

Sex toys are awesome and can be a great part of your sex life, but it is really important to make sure they're made of body-safe materials and that you keep them clean and hygienic with a pH balanced, antibacterial toy cleaner. Because there are no real regulations on toy materials, some companies can get away with mis-naming (or flat out lying) about what their toys are made out of, and making up buzz words and "scientific" claims that aren't true. Remember all toys, unless they're made of metal or glass, are porous and will harbour germs and nasties, even good quality silicone isn't perfect. Anything see-through is NOT silicone, no matter what the box says, and really shouldn't be used much longer than six months or so, even with regular cleaning. When buying toys it's always good to do your research and talk to the experts so you know you're getting the best thing for your bits. 

Perfumes and Scents

Look, I don't know how many times and in how many articles I need to say it, but I will keep saying it til I never have to ever again... A vagina is supposed to smell like a vagina. It isn't supposed to smell like patchouli or strawberries. The chemicals that are in perfumes can do some really nasty damage to the soft membranes of the vagina and outer labia and vulva, including even burning them! Again, if your vagina smells unpleasant, like fish or dirty water, then it means there is something wrong and you need to go to a doctor. If you are sleeping with someone who does not like the smell of vagina, then my suggestion is to find someone else to sleep with.

Anything Alive

It's rare, but it does happen, that someone has heard the Richard Gere and the gerbil story or something similar and wants to give it a try vaginally. 

Don't. Just... Don't. Anally either. There's not much else I can say to this one except it is cruel to the animal and highly dangerous to your bits.

Just don't.

Tongs

I don't know many women who haven't had the “OMG the condom came off and it's stuck and I can't get it out” panic. It happens to the best of us, and with sponges too (a stringless tampon that allows you to have non-bloody period sex), but never ever EVER use anything to get it out other than your fingers. If it takes a while to find, or you really think it's too far up to retrieve manually, then you must go to a doctor to get it out. I have heard some of the most horrific stories of vaginal and cervical damage done because someone tried to retrieve a lost condom with a pair of BBQ tongs. Please, for the love of your vag, please go to the doctor.

Anything Straight from the Butt

Whether you've enjoyed anal sex, or anal play with toys, before you go putting whatever it was in the butt into the vagina you need to make sure it is absolutely clean! Like washed with antibacterial soap. To avoid long delays in sexual play while you're waiting for the penis or toy to be cleaned, an easier way to avoid this is to use condoms (yes over your toys as well) and change them between anal and vaginal play. The bacteria from your anus can really stuff up the healthy pH balances and cleanliness of the vagina and lead to all sorts of infections and conditions. This also goes for wiping after you go to the loo. ALWAYS wipe front to back, and never the other way round. 

If you look after your vagina, and keep her free from chemicals, outside bacteria, and foreign nasties, she will stay happy and healthy and clean with nothing getting in the way of the orgasms and pleasure she (and you) deserves!

55 Member Comments

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  1. justforfun558

    More than a week ago
    I had a couple of bad experiences with fruit, vegs and toys. After having to go to the doc a few times, the doc said NEVER put any fruit or veg up your vagina without a condom, as the acid in the fruit or veg will burn like crazy.... and so I found out....the hard way lol. Also, forget these spectrum toys from the adult shop. A friend of mine wanted to play doctor/patient and put this spectrum up me like when you get a pap smear, so he could see inside me. All was well until the next day when I had blood in my urine and excruciating pain. To my humility, I had to go to a doctor (not my normal GP), and he said my bladder was bruised and I had to go on antibiotics for 2 weeks and no sex for two weeks. He asked me how this happened and I had to tell him....(that was the humility part lol). He said don't do it again haha.

    JustLookin022

    15 hours ago
    Lol. You did mean speculum I gather? spectrum toys are usually toys for kids in the autism spectrum. Although I noticed their is a spectrum boutique selling adult crystal sex toys. Disposable speculum a nice way of looking if curious but can pinch nastily if not done right . Got to see different cervix's at a workshop once, takes a bit of mystery of the subject and how different every one is.
    Thank you for sharing.
  2. wildOATSsexyMOM

    More than a month ago
    Lol have reefed thru most of the comments and geez wot a good laugh I got. I do think its a bit sad when people start slagging each other off though. Im pretty strait but have come to have some new and fab experiences thru my partner and this site. My acceptance and tolerance of different sexualitys and practices has increased sexponentially.
    Have a firm belief that as long as everyone consents to wotever style of play u are into then enjoy. Ok not all encounters are perfect. But in the words of oneAussie songster Kamal "why are people so unkind"? Think I'll keep my rose coloured glasses firmly planted on. Try and treat others how u would like to be treated and I'm sure that statement will draw a few funny comments. Ciao

    JustLookin022

    15 hours ago
    Sexponentially.Lol
    Have to add that to my vocab.
    Yes some comments can be ,insensitive, don't know if it is just me, but seems to be mostly men. No wonder we get such a bad rap.

    2beingfree

    More than a month ago
    I agree with you
  3. DeliciousEva

    More than a month ago
    I have been informed by a few people that I have missed a very important "nasty" to keep out of your vagina, and I have to say I completely agree.

    Misogynistic, mens rights activist, entitled, sexist douchebags.

    So basically Trump.
    Keep Trump and Trump-esque people as far away from your bits as possible.
    :)

    DeliciousEva

    More than a month ago
    Thank you for the offer, but I must decline.
    Rampant misogyny and an over inflated sense of importance and relevance are big red flags that make my skin crawl, my shackles go up, and my vagina clamp shut like a vice.
    But hey... Pretty sure you knew that.

    Learn how to speak to women. Learn how to listen to women.
    Just... Grow up a bit eh.

    Have a nice weekend.

    Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    I LOVE you, Eva

    DeliciousEva

    More than a month ago
    Oh look, it's Privateer. Once again displaying both his rather odd obsession with me, and his complete lack of knowing anything about me whatsoever.
    Tis a strange combination, I must say.

    For the record... As much as I find MRAs to be mostly whinging little crybabies hysterically clutching desperately at the teats of privilege they're convinced the feminists are trying to steal, I have absolutely no interest in silencing or censoring or banning anything they have to say, bar direct calls for, and inciting, violence (which is the same way I feel about censorship etc of any organisation or movement or whatever).
    Please do try not to put words or actions or philosophies into my mouth. It makes you look incredibly stupid and a little bit desperate.
    :)

    1HanDSolo

    More than a month ago
    Privateer76 just doesn't get it does he!

    Summernights069

    More than a month ago
    Hahaha.

    NLindsayfan

    More than a month ago
    I would suggest anyone who Trumpets his sexual prowess and endowment size should also be barred from the babe.

    petite.rocket

    More than a month ago
    Fantastic. Exactly what I needed this week.I recently spotted some possible misogynistic traits in a new fwb and playfully called him a mini trump. This lead to being angrily called a man hater etc etc. He's certainly not welcome anywhere near my pleasure centre again!!

    Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    Well said, Eva (as usual). AND, also as usual, Mr Showercurtain has weighed in with his egregious misogyny.

    Occupado

    More than a month ago
    agreed.
  4. DeliciousEva

    More than a month ago
    An enema/anal will get rid of visible nasties, sure.
    It won't get rid of the harmful bacteria and microscopic germs that can make you sick. Even something like gastro.

    Like I always say, each to their own... Just be aware of the risks and don't assume you're (or anyone you fuck is) "clean".
    All it takes is one moment... One experience... One germ to ruin your day.


    hornyandcheeky

    More than a month ago
    yes DeliciousEva - i totally agree.
    Anyone who is totally inconsiderate about the ill health effects of an act of 'pleasure' is not worth pleasuring in my opinion

    DeliciousEva

    More than a month ago
    Well sure. A scraped knee is better than a broken leg... But avoiding both is optimal.
    I merely mentioned it because it's a huge possibility.
    And, in saying that, gastro has killed people before so it's not harmless. And spending a day or so spraying liquid from both ends of your body is a hell of a price to pay for a moment of Ass to Mouth pleasure isn't really a fair trade.
    Regardless of if you need a doctor or not.
    :)

    allinmymind

    More than a month ago
    Gastro you can survive without the doctor, vaginal infection no. An untreated one can damage your kidneys. It also is very painful.
  5. hornyandcheeky

    More than a month ago
    I knew most of this but seriously guys need to know atv (ass to vagina) is not a done thing and don't even get me started on atm (ass to mouth) omgwtf hell no - never

    JustLookin022

    14 hours ago
    Lol, that what atv is, I only knew it as All Terrain Vehicle. I suppose some guys do think it is an ATV or a weapon. Thought I knew almost everything, seems I have a lot to learn. Thank you Hornyandcheeky and AMM .

    Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    Melody considering I'm not even a "blimp" on your radar (yes, still chuckling over that) you seem to spend an inordinate amount of time critiquing my posts.

    "Opinionated" ? Perhaps but, as far as I'm aware, that's not illegal ;-)

    Melody2973

    More than a month ago
    Leolady you are entitled to an opinion but you are ' opinionated ' :)

    Who says she has no self respect ???, that's an assumption just like the o Rs you make about me :)

    Maybe shut your mouth, clearly you weren't taught if you have nothing nice to say don't bother :)

    Ohhhhh and I'm rather nice with an exceptional pussy :)

    Melody2973

    More than a month ago
    I'm not sure I'd do it from a health perspective :)

    Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    Not hanging my head in shame at all - I'm entitled to my opinion, surely, and I DO find it quite sad that a person has so little self-respect.

    The comment about my age I find laughable - do you think people just give up sex when they turn 40?

    buxombitch

    More than a month ago
    Poor Leolady727
    On this site at your age.
    Good luck hunny ??

    Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    Teacher, just because someone disagrees does not make them a troll. Personally, I feel very sorry for Buxombitch - I find it sad that someone has such low self esteem and no respect for their body :-(

    TheTeacher420

    More than a month ago
    Trolls ... Trolls everywhere .................

    Buxombitch screw the haters, do what you like & let the prudish trolls enjoy their missionary position.

    For the record I'm not saying whether I would or would not do it, that's not the point. :)

    Melody2973

    More than a month ago
    Buxombitch I just not sure about you :)

    TidyUnderpants

    More than a month ago
    Anything anal makes me want to barf. Pussy = perfect.

    maid_in_melb

    More than a month ago
    Yes but buxombitch likes being told what to do and humiliated. Works in the health industry too... And she says it's clean. *rolls eyes*

    allinmymind

    More than a month ago
    Quality of cock, as in the excitement level of the cock?

    DeliciousEva

    More than a month ago
    An enema/anal will get rid of visible nasties, sure.
    It won't get rid of the harmful bacteria and microscopic germs that can make you sick. Even something like gastro.

    Like I always say, each to their own... Just be aware of the risks and don't assume you're (or anyone you fuck is) "clean".
    All it takes is one moment... One experience... One germ to ruin your day.

    FIREYMALE

    More than a month ago
    Buxom each to their own , but to me , even a good enema before can leave little nasties behind (behind ?? Ha ha no pun intended).

    buxombitch

    More than a month ago
    Sorry guys but sucking off a guy fresh from your ass is the hottest thing there is. Before anal I do a complete flush with an enima so it's completely clean. It's rare to find a women that will do an as to mouth but the quality of cock I get, trust me it's worth it.

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